Testing the Dom and Domme

Testing the Dom and Domme (Full Version)

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LATEXBABY64 -> Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 5:36:35 AM)
I see a lot of threads on how people first find their other. If there really serious. So I do what i call qualifying the Dom/domme for healthy exchange. I do something totally out of character. I do not send long letters of introduction. I also do not use Miss Or Ma am or anything there off. I keep It simple something warm like. A simple compliment. If they are warm back and open You will see it in their responses. Building a relationship takes time. A good one. After First contact. I use other means to get to know them talk about anything but D's . Unless they ask you questions about it. I thinks your looking for and to stay away from. Complicated sceneries. Married or attached looking for an escape Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person ie Nilla things lazy dose not work user persona Conservative or Liberal very important if it dose not match your value system Distance reality check While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel Now while this is not 100 percent on the nose. It has helped me in the past avoid bad conflicts of interest.. This is just way to keep people honest. You should know after the Frost couple response if a person is going to match with you. Once you do both people have to work at it. But the road you will travel will be fun how ever the relationship morphs

Jeffff -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:06:36 AM)
Right off the bat, I disagree...lol.... I am drawn to sarcastic wit. As a matter of fact if Ron was a woman, I'd be all over her...:) Jeff

mnottertail -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:08:47 AM)
This is not the sort of thing that lulls me into sweet repose at the end of a day, I will have you know. Ron (a man)

MissSCD -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:09:55 AM)
*Latexbaby:* At first I thought I was going to go through the roof when I saw the title until I read the entire post. I think you mean qualifying your Domme to your personality. One never tests a Dom/me in real life. Trust me on that. They will get you. *My worst punishment as a novice sub was testing a Dom. Not a good idea.* *Regards, MissSCD*

Jeffff -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:10:52 AM)
It would if you were a woman.......I don't suppose you have a sister? Jeff

IrishMist -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:18:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 I see a lot of threads on how people first find their other. If there really serious. So I do what i call qualifying the Dom/domme for healthy exchange. I do something totally out of character. I do not send long letters of introduction. I also do not use Miss Or Ma am or anything there off. I keep It simple something warm like. A simple compliment. If they are warm back and open You will see it in their responses. Building a relationship takes time. A good one. After First contact. I use other means to get to know them talk about anything but D's . Unless they ask you questions about it. I thinks your looking for and to stay away from. Complicated sceneries. Married or attached looking for an escape Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person ie Nilla things lazy dose not work user persona Conservative or Liberal very important if it dose not match your value system Distance reality check While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel Now while this is not 100 percent on the nose. It has helped me in the past avoid bad conflicts of interest.. This is just way to keep people honest. You should know after the Frost couple response if a person is going to match with you. Once you do both people have to work at it. But the road you will travel will be fun how ever the relationship morphs Latex; I guess where my confusion with this post comes from is in the question why do you feel the need to 'test' them in that first email? I don't understand your reasoning with that...or perhaps it's just because you used the word 'test' that I am having trouble understanding. [&:] Color me confuzzled today

Jeffff -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:25:14 AM)
As I understood it, these are .."tests" a prospective partner must, "pass". I could be wrong Jeff

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:32:08 AM)
Maybe the OP is referring to what is the logical course of communication, i.e., communicating. Asking questions and answering questions. I don't think a sub would hold my attention long if all she wanted to know about me was how I would handle her in a D/s aspect. But then, maybe that is just me. [sm=mrpuffy.gif]

IrishMist -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:34:59 AM)
It's the way he said it. That *he deliberately tests them by sending a nice and warm first letter.* I am confused...does that mean that NORMALLY, he does not send letters of that kind? Or was he meaning something else and just chose the wrong kind of wording.

Dnomyar -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:38:35 AM)
Ron have you thought of crossdressing.

mnottertail -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:40:14 AM)
I have buttoned my shirt one hole off before, but that's about as far as it has went. Ron

LadyPact -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:40:53 AM)
I agree with the bad phrasing of the question. However, I don't especially disagree with the content. If I'm reading it right, you're talking about a 'feeling out' period between two people to see if you're compatible. There's nothing wrong with that, whether doing it in real life, or attempting to do it electronically. One is much more reliable than the other. Having come to know your opinions on certain things, I understand why #1 is an issue for you. That's not the case for everyone. It's ok for you to discount folks who might be married and poly because it's what works for you. That isn't the case for everyone. As to #2, I think you lumped two catagories together. There is a difference between being pro and having multiple subs courting at the same time. In fact, I named one of My past boys 'chosen' because that was the situation at the time. I specifically chose him above the others vying for My attentions. Being sought after doesn't put One in the same catagory as a pro. On #3, no one ever said that being a sadist doesn't also mean a person can't be warm and caring. As to #4, trust Me. The Dom/mes out there watch for folks who don't have a job either. For #5. at first, I thought you were talking about politics. Finally #6. I'm probably going to get blasted for this, but the distance thing never really worked for Me either. I need the physical for a relationship to work, and I've found that I can't do that from across the miles. I realize that some do it and they have no issue with that particular hurdle, but it isn't for Me. At least you're talking about what works for you and not insisting that it work that way for everyone else.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:40:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Right off the bat, I disagree...lol.... I am drawn to sarcastic wit. As a matter of fact if Ron was a woman, I'd be all over her...:) Jeff Jeff, I think you missed reading a word there, it's BAD sarcastic wit.

IrishMist -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:41:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I have buttoned my shirt one hole off before, but that's about as far as it has went. Ron /sigh You tease you

Jeffff -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:47:18 AM)
How can wit be bad? Jeff

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 7:50:22 AM)
It's important for two people to actually explore, learn and feel each other out first. This includes testing another person, to see if they are real and what you have in common or not. There has been threads on Acid tests, things to look for good and bad. Most of the emails I recieve from people for the first time, are warm simple remarks or comments, and not long letters of introduction. Actually, I have yet to recieve a long letter of introduction in my inBOX yet.

missturbation -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 9:27:08 AM)
quote: Complicated sceneries. Married or attached looking for an escape No shit sherlock !! quote: Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet Complicated? Whats complicated about paying for a service if its what you want? quote: bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person ie Nilla things Oh balls, thats where i've been going wrong! Picking sadists with bad ass wit vs a warm fluffy dom. quote: lazy dose not work user persona So is being hired out to provide Sir with a good healthy pension not the right thing to do then? quote: Conservative or Liberal very important if it dose not match your value system I'm supposed to have values as well as bake muffins and iron his under pants? quote: Distance reality check While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel It works for me and it has for 11 months. ANd in his absence i touch and feel myself [:D] when allowed of course [;)]

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 10:00:07 AM)
quote: Oh balls, thats where i've been going wrong! Picking sadists with bad ass wit vs a warm fluffy dom. How about Fluffy Doms with great big teeth and razor sharp claws with the sex drive of a rabbit?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 11:25:25 AM)
Do rabbits truly have big sex drives?

Najakcharmer -> RE: Testing the Dom and Domme (12/4/2007 11:54:07 AM)
Thing is, 99% of the time if someone sends me a simple compliment and I respond politely, the next letter is guaranteed to be a sexual come-on or other highly explicit suggestion involving BDSM. So I ask folks to actually read my entire profile before writing me, and if they aren't on the same page as me or sincerely interested in intelligent conversation and a friendship that would NOT necessarily or automatically involve ANY sex or kinky play, please don't write at all. Compliments on my appearance that don't include an indication that they've read the profile get shitcanned immediately, as they're invariably a prelude to sexually explicit offers that have nothing to do with warmth, friendship, liking, respect, and actually getting to know a person as a human being. I'm very friendly, warm and open - as long as the person emailing me did take the time to read my profile and is respecting my wishes to make connections of real friendship, not insta-kink or insta-sex. If they didn't read my profile and are not respecting the limits and boundaries politely stated there, then I have no time for random horny jerks who bother women without caring who they are or what they are seeking here. Everyone has the right to set their standards, preferences, limits and boundaries. Mine is "friendship first, no exceptions". Folks who overstep those boundaries get ignored and blocked. This isn't to say that anyone else's standards are wrong, but when you reach out to communicate with another person, it is a very good idea to make sure you understand their boundaries and what they are seeking. If you don't, you'll probably just annoy them.

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