First Time Playing - To or not to???

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First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 8:32:09 PM

sexyone4you

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

Post #: 1

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 8:34:50 PM

mischievousone

Posts: 164
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

If your a normally cautious person, and all things still say yes.... Then by all means, play.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 2

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 8:37:11 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

It depends on the definition of fooling around and playing. If you mean sexually, in my case no. Because I don't consider myself kinky, I'm only look for service subs and I don't do casual sex. They are expected to clean something, like the entire kitchen. That separates the hormonal submissives from the service submissives.

But if it tickles ya pickle, why not?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 3

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 8:37:19 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

I always go in with the intent of not playing, but the temptation is very hard to resist. I find that I am very likely to play if the date is in a place that allows for it.

(in reply to mischievousone)

Post #: 4

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 8:44:40 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I've only had one first time meet and I'm still with him so don't have a range of experience to offer. We met at a mall, walked around there for half an hour or so. Then we went out to brunch. That went even better so we picked up a picnic and went to the beach for the day. He had this planned because he just 'happened' to have a blanket in his trunk. He's never had a blanket in the car in the four years since!

We lay on the blanket touching and kissing and wound up in the car at some point to avoid the mosquitoes at the picnic tables. Lunch was quickly forgotten and we started groping each other seriously. Might have crawled into the backseat but a cop car came cruising into the parking lot expecting to find a drug deal and found a middle aged couple seriously necking instead!

Second meet we played. But we didn't have any toys with us at the first meet nor had we talked about the possibility of playing so he put no pressure on me to do so.

When the chemistry is right and you feel comfortable, then go for it. If you don't feel absolutely positive that it's the right thing to do, then don't. You can always change a no to a yes later but you can't undo that yes.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to mischievousone)

Post #: 5

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 9:09:43 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

We fooled around a lot, but we chatted for over 3 months before we met. I could say it wasn't planned, but that would be a lie...

I still think about that day, it was the perfect day from the beginning until the end.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 6

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 9:10:40 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

Entirely depends on the time and the person. I've met some folks and played almost immediately... others it took more than a year to. On the "fooling around" bit, I've ranged from sleeping with someone within 10 minutes of meeting them and others never -despite mutual attraction.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 7

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 9:26:50 PM

onegoodgirl

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

I have a general rule of not getting.. busy.. on the first date for a variety of reasons. I've broken it a few times with minimal regret, however nearly all were supervenient to spending hours getting to know each..other. I believe most people have a natural sense of what feels right even if few honor their instincts.

_____________________________

"This aint a scene.. it's a god-damned arms race!" - Fall Out Boy

http://www.myspace.com/bellaemiliana

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 8

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 9:36:12 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

NO WAY NO HOW .. Allow me to also add as he Swtch box has been checked"and then some " i would not Top Dom submit bottom on any first face to face meeting no matter how strong the urge or attractions are . Thats my personal rule and it often extends beyond just the first meeting too .That is not to say a that if a person in my community wanted say to try something like the violet wand i brought to a party for the first time and wanted me to share that with them . I would ,but thats not the context of the question ..

(in reply to onegoodgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 9:36:48 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

My former sub and I played the first time we were physically together. We both knew ahead of time why we were there and had a broad idea of what was going to take place because we talked with each other and negotiated over the course of a month. We had talked enough that she felt comfortable from the time she entered the room and I told her to remove her shoes to the last squirting orgasm hours later.

I'd do the same with another sub provided we had talked extensively and were both comfortable with what was likely to happen.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Custom-Made Kinkiness)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to onegoodgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 10:18:48 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

i think that would all depend on the situation at hand.

When i met my Daddy in person the first time it was after chatting/talking for 3 months...we weren't alone together for another 3 months and then it wasn't for "play". We didn't actually play for almost a year after that (because of an injury on my part and because we were living in seperate states and only part time together)

That being said....

Tomorrow night i will be going to a party with my Daddy and i could be shared with some people there...it is an possibility...those will be people i am meeting either for the first time or with just a passing meeting prior..in this instance it would be different. If He knows them well enough to know their skill or if someone he knows there can vouche for their skill and Daddy wanted to share me with them in any copacity...then i would play with them on the first meeting.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 11

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 11/30/2007 11:42:04 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Go with what works for you. A huge majority of first meets do involve kink and play and sex, no matter what the paranoiacs here would have you believe. As a responsible adult, it's completely up to you.

Bring condoms just in case.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 12

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 1:30:00 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Whatever floats my boat in the moment. Some kinda physical activity is gonna take place, usually that means making out or we probably aren't gonna see each other again. I've only ended up in bed on a first date with a couple of bottom boys. Lovely things they were/are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 13

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 1:59:25 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i have made it a policy to meet without promise or expectation of play, fooling around, sex, or anything other than conversation to see if there's any chemistry. i like to think i have enough self-control that even if there were chemistry, the play can happen on a subsequent meeting.

Master and i met in person roughly 45 days after initial contact via email. By the time i got there, we had talked every day by phone or IM and we had exchanged personal information. Play on the first meeting? Oh hell yeah!

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 14

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 3:50:10 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

There is some kind of theory that Doms shouldn’t play with a submissive at the first meeting because it establishes control early (maybe there’s a similar one for subs). I suppose it makes sense, although I’ve rarely stuck with it.

The reason I haven’t followed the “rule” is that before I meet a woman I’m going to know her very well through chats, email and the phone. Of course it is not just me, but both of us learning each other through countless hours of talking about everything under the sun. We are going to laugh together a lot.

We are going to know each other’s sexual, BDSM preferences, but we are, also, going to know about each way beyond that one dimension. We are going to know if we want to play together and probably actually desiring each other by the time we meet. The meeting is only a reaffirmation of what has transpired already. Under these circumstances, why not play?

It seems to me if you have invested the time with each other and things are working, it is okay. If you haven’t connected well, the first meeting is only a continuation of the getting to know each other process and that tends to limit play right off the bat.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 15

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 3:56:32 AM

shootingstar67

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

No but i am a prude..prude ..prude..if you meet me be prepared to fall asleep

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I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 16

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 4:22:27 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

At 20 ~ I still couldn't see the forrest for the trees
At 30 ~ I was still " saving my good china for only the holidays" and telling the kids that they couldn't wear their "sunday best" on a whim.
At 35 ~ I was still making too many of my life choices based on the opinions and impressions of others.
At 40 ~ I grew a clue
At 45 ~ I realized life is short, living is to be LIVED, and the best rides are the ones that make you hold on tight and cause you to scream from your toes.
At 50 ~ well, I will tell you in 4 days LOL woohoo..

Along the way I also learned to stop ignoring my gut feelings.
so
be safe....trust and listen to your gut..
and then embrace what life holds..
"live is not tried it is merely survived if you are standing outside the fire"
go for it sexyone : )

edited : the quote/line is from a garth song...forgot to note that.

< Message edited by TysGalilah -- 12/1/2007 4:25:57 AM >

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 17

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 6:21:32 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Go with what works for you. A huge majority of first meets do involve kink and play and sex, no matter what the paranoiacs here would have you believe. As a responsible adult, it's completely up to you.

Bring condoms just in case.

QFT

people have freaked out at me meeting guys from the interenet, yet i know much more about these guys than the numberous one night stands they've had with the guys they've met at the bar...

you can meet crazy people anywhere...personally i trust my gut instinct, it hasn't lied to me yet...if it does...well i guess you'll be reading about me on the news...but i don't stand outside the fire...(i like that song too)...you'll never fall if you don't jump, but if you don't jump, you will never fly....
btw...that was metaphoric, not litteral...no need to bring in the limits of humans not being able to fly.....

chelle

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 12/1/2007 6:22:42 AM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 7:33:33 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

people have freaked out at me meeting guys from the interenet, yet i know much more about these guys than the numberous one night stands they've had with the guys they've met at the bar

I have noticed this too. I have had people I work with that look at me like I must be a crazy person because I met my "boyfriend" (that is what I call him to them) on the internet.. then they ask me what site we met on so they can give that information to their single friend/family member

, especially after he came into my work with me one day...

I tell them I was signed up for 'match,com' when I met him.. because technically it is not a lie, I did have a profile there at the time we met...laughing.

When people have a negative reaction about me meeting my Man on the internet, I just ask them... so you know anyone that met at a bar? That is just as dangerous, and there was no alcohol involved with our meeting.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 19

RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 7:35:11 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.

Hmmm, depends on how much time we spent beforehand talking and on how comfortable I am in his presence when we meet.

There are a few other precautions that I have in place, but the two above are the most important.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 20

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