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RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 8:03:43 AM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		For me, it really depends on the type of communication we've had up to that point and the chemistry felt during the meeting.
I don't ever do a first meet in a private location so "playing" is subject to the venue were we meet.

Lady Jag

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(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 8:47:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well I think there's legitimacy in worrying over meeting someone you've known online because we can all think of a few dozen people who allowed themselves to believe what they wanted and were more easily hoodwinked due to the manner of the internet- a guy at a bar doesn't have as much time to play out a whole drama to gain someones confidences and it takes more skill to get someone who might be hesitant.   

But at heart that is still an issue of someone's lack of judgement and a responsible adult deals with the consequences of their actions and choices.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 9:33:30 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I never do first potential play meets at houses, always at some neutral ground first, and I have run the gamut from nothing to everything.  Be prepared, and do what feels best to you. 

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 10:01:00 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		First meetings have always been "getting to know you" meetings for me.  No play. That is waht works best for me.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 12:12:50 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Go with what works for you.  A huge majority of first meets do involve kink and play and sex, no matter what the paranoiacs here would have you believe.  As a responsible adult, it's completely up to you.

Bring condoms just in case.

QFT

people have freaked out at me meeting guys from the interenet, yet i know much more about these guys than the numberous one night stands they've had with the guys they've met at the bar...

you can meet crazy people anywhere...personally i trust my gut instinct, it hasn't lied to me yet...if it does...well i guess you'll be reading about me on the news...but i don't stand outside the fire...(i like that song too)...you'll never fall if you don't jump, but if you don't jump, you will never fly....
btw...that was metaphoric, not litteral...no need to bring in the limits of humans not being able to fly.....

chelle


Chelle
what is  QFT  ??

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 12:21:59 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl. I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet. You feel like there's chemistry. Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit? Fool around a lot?

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities. I'm curious what other people have experienced.


I have done both...played and not played. I have regretted my decision in either choice far less than I have felt I was right, luckily. In most cases where play took place, there had usually been a great deal of communication beforehand and the meeting was to get to know each other face to face and feel comfortable with that aspect of being together.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 12:35:18 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah


Chelle
what is  QFT  ??


QFT = Quoted For Truth

Which is what I am also doing....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Go with what works for you.  A huge majority of first meets do involve kink and play and sex, no matter what the paranoiacs here would have you believe.  As a responsible adult, it's completely up to you.

Bring condoms just in case.


QFT
 
Darcy and I did - because it was instinctive and it rocked - no regrets.  If it feels right and you are responsible for your actions - go for it.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 12:44:34 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Master and i didnt have sex on our 1st meet but we did some heavy making out.....

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 1:16:21 PM   
futureDOM


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline 		well im still waiting for my "first" haha considering I just signed up yesterday and have only been interested in the lifestyle from the closet so to speak haha

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 2:34:22 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah


Chelle
what is  QFT  ??


QFT = Quoted For Truth

Which is what I am also doing....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Go with what works for you.  A huge majority of first meets do involve kink and play and sex, no matter what the paranoiacs here would have you believe.  As a responsible adult, it's completely up to you.

Bring condoms just in case.


QFT
 
Darcy and I did - because it was instinctive and it rocked - no regrets.  If it feels right and you are responsible for your actions - go for it.
 
the.dark.

 
thank You, the.dark  : )

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 2:41:51 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		My first meeting was with my Dom showing me his spanking impliments and letting me feel what each one was like on my bare bottom. Other than that, it was a lot of talking

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 4:21:34 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet.  You feel like there's chemistry.  Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit?  Fool around a lot? 

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities.  I'm curious what other people have experienced.


Like you, my experience runs a wide spectrum.  This is because the people in my "first meetings" have run a wide spectrum of trustworthiness and chemistry.

Although I agree with, and generally subscribe to, the "no play on first meet" rule...

... if we have been corresponding and phoning each other for months [because of geographic undesirability], have shared and confirmed each other's real identities, established rapport, and there is mutual "chemistry" in that first meeting, I am going to make an exception to my rule.

"Damn the torpedeos...."

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(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 5:05:41 PM   
daddysblondie


Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Done both. In all cases, we've met originally in public first. The two times I've played the same day as the first meet, we ventured to a private place from the public one and played because we were both feeling it.

I've met with others that I was watching the clock and looking for the right opportunity to bow out gracefully.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 5:24:24 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I am a nosy girl.  I just have to ask.

So, you have been chatting with another kinkster, and you are finally going to meet.  You feel like there's chemistry.  Do you play on your first meeting after initial chit chat? Do you fool around a bit?  Fool around a lot? 

For me, my first meetings have run the spectrum of activities.  I'm curious what other people have experienced.


It's all about the chemistry for me.  If it's there, I'm likely to play or fool around a bit on the first meeting.  What can I say, I'm a passionate person and sometimes impulsive.  There have been a few times when I've moved faster than I might have without that chemistry, and it was a mistake.  I don't regret those mistakes, I learned from them.  But more often than not, I find when I follow my gut and my heart, I have wonderful experiences. 

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/1/2007 7:14:32 PM   
elderrook


Posts: 93
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline 		You just have to decide what you feel is right for you. It's really no different than deciding whether or not to sleep with someone on the first date. If you're good with it, who cares what others might think?

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I also wouldn't sleep with someone on the first date as a general rule. That's not to say I wouldn't have broken that rule under the right circumstances.

Sometimes the stars align, the moon shines bright overhead, a male voice choir sings gently in the background, and things are JUST RIGHT. Who can argue with it?

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/2/2007 5:34:12 AM   
Sabella


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't do it either, but LOVE the anticipation buildup. That (to me) is another layer of a budding relationship that enjoys it's own time to grow and bloom. I may definately WANT to but *grins* teasing myself is part of the fun.

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to elderrook)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/2/2007 10:32:18 AM   
agoodgirl4Daddy


Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with what many have already stated.  Many factors are involved in whether to play or have sex upon a first meeting.  I have played but not had sex, had sex but not played, and did neither on a first meeting.  For me, it boiled down to the relationship that I had already established with the Dominant/Top/Daddy, the chemistry involved, whether I was in the mood for sex and/or play, whether He/She was in the mood, if there was a place that was conducive to play and/or sex, etc. etc. etc. 

I don't consider myself "fast" or "loose" or "slutty" for engaging in play and/or sex upon a first meet.  I also take my responsibility seriously for "safer" sex and play.  I keep condoms, dental dams, and gloves, as well as disinfectants for toys and implements, in my own little toy bag.

Also, I do a sexual history with all potential partners, and I am tested for HIV & Hepatitis regularly.   

in kink,
~a good girl

(in reply to Sabella)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: First Time Playing - To or not to??? - 12/2/2007 10:37:56 AM   
wildtigress27


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/6/2007
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		For myself, i prefer the first meet to be in a public vanilla setting. If there is chemistry, it just makes the anticipation of getting together to play at a later day that much more intense.

_____________________________

"Not all who wander are lost." JRR Tolkein

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 38
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