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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:44:32 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I don't necessarily find having no friends a red flag. Sure a person COULD have issues that a person wouldn't want to deal with, but that could also be said of people who have a lot of friends. I have met people with few/no friends who have turned out to be very nice people (not just 'first impressions') but have preferred their own company and has had many acquaintances speak highly of them. On the other hand I have also known people who have had many friends they have known their entire lives and who, as is the case with my own sub, don't actually know the inner person. And then, you get people like myself, who have friends but see them infrequently.  

Surely, when two people get to the point they have discussed the possibility of relocating they have already established a firm relationship and explored one another's backgrounds/personalities to ensure compatability/stability? Anyone considering relocation in the 'early stages' is foolish and as much a risk to the person they are relocating to.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme
Be wary tho-- if said person has no friends throws major red flags in my opinion.  No friends, to me, means that person would possibly be wanting to center their entire existance on you and that can be potentially a major problem.

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:54:05 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Huh... people will travel great distances for LURVE.



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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 7:39:09 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I think as all the posts bear out the reason a male dominant can relocate can vary greatly. Everyone has different experiences in life. Yes, some are probably losers who are looking for a free ride but I am guessing most who are willing to relocate because they are not tied down to the location they are in.

If I would have been interested in a man and he wanted to relocate to me my question to him would be ask him how he would go about it. If he was willing to quit his job on a moment notice and relocate to you and then look for a job, a red flag. If he was more careful and looked for a job before quitting and moving then why is he different then a female relocating?

For many people entering into what they hope is the great relationship of their life is more important then location. If the woman is more tied down to her location then I think it could even be very endearing for a man to move to her if done in a sane and realistic manner.


< Message edited by toservez -- 11/27/2007 7:40:04 AM >

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 9:05:04 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub


i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub


Have you considered asking them why?

Valyraen relocated and moved in with me because he had a crappy job that he hated, a few goods friends who he didn't get to see very often and only got to see me once every weeks. My relocating was out of the question for a few years - I would have to transfer colleges and I had just moved into a townhouse. So he quit his *really* crappy job and moved in with me in the same town where he had gone to college. Better job market and a lot of his old friends where here.

Being a dominant doesn't magically get you a good job or great friends, the things that, IMO, make a place worth staying at. If you don't have those things, why not move to where there is at least someone you really care about?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/27/2007 9:07:36 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 9:13:44 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I do not discriminate against dom or sub in this regard... why is it ok for a male submissive, a femdom, or a femsub to relocate... but it is not ok for a male dom? Seems a little stereotypical if you ask me. Since you did not ask about people moving in general, and just talked about this:

quote:

i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend. 
 


I am assuming that you would not have the same prejudiced ideas of other orientations moving to be close to their partners.

In our relationship I will be the one relocating. It works for us because he has a job that he has worked hard to establish, and where I want to go to graduate school is only 20 to 30 minutes away from where he lives... so win win for us.

Perhaps you should ask him why he would be willing to move for you...

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 9:20:29 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i have spoken to a few Doms who marked Their profiles 'willing to relocate'.  i question why A/anyone would willingly come to NE Ohio....a recesssion is underway here and it snows for 6 months a year.  They all assure me They are willing to move house; They have no family or friends to hold Them where They are.
 
i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub


That you're extremely judgmental?

I recently relocated to california to be with two women I've met here on collarme.  I'd been living in Texas for only a few months, before that I'd lived three years in Santiago, Chile as an English teacher.  Returning to the US, I wasn't overly committed to living anywhere; I don't have any close friends or family due to having lived half my adult life travelling abroad.  The family I am close to, I keep in touch with by phone and email.

Not everyone is driven to own a big house, a fleet of cars, or a marble statue of themselves in the living room.  I'm proud of the fact that I can easily move to where I want to be, to be with people I love, and love those people for who and how they are.  If you're more hung up on the things that he owns and the things you own, then I'm certain you'd be well suited for each other as well.

Stephan


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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 9:24:47 AM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I could relocate fairly easily, for the right situation. All I need for work is reasonable access to an airport, since I travel all the time anyway, and it totally doesn't matter where I live. My closest friends are scattered across the country anyway, so it wouldn't matter there, and I really don't care if I see my family (except my mom) at all... I mean, right now I live eighteen hours from the closest member of my family, so it's not like it'd be a huge difference anywhere else.

Of course, I like where I live now, so it'd have to be an absolutely fantastic situation... but I don't rule it out.


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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 9:56:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He moved from zone 7 to zone 5. He prefers the mountains where I live to the coast where he was. Personally I prefer the coast but I can't move till my youngest is in college. He doesn't love driving in snow, but he had lived in Michigan so this is nothing in comparison.

As to why he moved? I'm here. I'm still trying to talk him into moving back to the coast in a few years.

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 11:23:11 AM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		Some people travel a lot for work, others have easily relocatable jobs.

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 11:54:27 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		Not to long after I met my Sir (offline at our place of employment) I inherited a house from my great grandmother. My Sir sold his house (which he'd been planning on doing for a while anyway) and moved in with me. It wasnt a HUGE relocation, about an hours drive, but I know he would have been able to move with me no matter where the house had been located. And he is MUCH more stable than I am. He would have had to ask for a transfer to another Reserve Unit if we had traveled out of driving distance to his current one, but that wouldnt have been difficult, and he has the skills to get a great job anywhere he was to go without a problem. We both quit our job, same place, same time...and packed everything up and moved. Everyone in his family has passed away, all of his close long time friends all live several hours away anyway and the only reason he was in this town was the mIlitary had sent him here and he just never left.

Now me, personally, I couldnt move to anywhere else if I even wanted to. Part of the agreement of me inheriteing this property is that I get all 10 acres as long as I continue to live here next door to my grandparents and great aunt and take care of all them. There is no way I would be able to afford to move away from here. I have no mortgage, no rent, for now the grandparents still pay the taxes, and if I moved away I would have to pay all that, plus pay for in home nursing for the old folks....years from now, would I move away? I doubt it. but I could....

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 4:43:59 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i have spoken to a few Doms who marked Their profiles 'willing to relocate'.  i question why A/anyone would willingly come to NE Ohio....a recesssion is underway here and it snows for 6 months a year.  They all assure me They are willing to move house; They have no family or friends to hold Them where They are.
 
i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub


Why are you in NE Ohio then?  Do you live in a deserted area, or is it fairly well populated?  If so, it would seem ALOT of people do not mind living in NE Ohio.

Shrugs, if you question an individual's domliness, quit talking to them.  It is not fair or accurate to make generalizations about the "togetherness" of a whole segment of population, unless you are trying to incite a possible flicker of flames against that group.

If I were you, I might consider myself lucky that I had some doms considering it at all. Just a thought......

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 4:49:59 PM   
Jmv0405


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a writer.

So (potentially) I could work from home and generate a steady income.

(Wouldn't it be nice).

However, the idea of moving to Northeastern Ohio does seem slightly more problematic, but then again I live in Syracuse.

Best,

Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 4:54:47 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i have spoken to a few Doms who marked Their profiles 'willing to relocate'.  i question why A/anyone would willingly come to NE Ohio....a recesssion is underway here and it snows for 6 months a year.  They all assure me They are willing to move house; They have no family or friends to hold Them where They are.
 
i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub


Yes, two thoughts. One, I think you have a major double standard if you are going to find it strange that a Dom would consider relocation. There are so many reasons why someone would move, not the least of which would be moving to be with someone special.

And next is I find it refreshing to even hear of a Dominant who is willing to relocate. I get email after email where often the initial contact is: Hi Red, can you relocate?

I always say, no, can you? And they say, oh no, I am DOM, hear me roar, the SUB has to relocate as if our lives, families, friends, job, locale is of no importance.

So, if I were you, I would be flattered, without being stupid about it and of course investigating the situation.

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 5:54:40 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


And next is I find it refreshing to even hear of a Dominant who is willing to relocate. I get email after email where often the initial contact is: Hi Red, can you relocate?

I always say, no, can you? And they say, oh no, I am DOM, hear me roar, the SUB has to relocate as if our lives, families, friends, job, locale is of no importance.


No one ever said relocating would be easy for either Dom or sub. But if/when I meet someone and we truly believe we are right together in a D/s relationship, then I'd find a way to make it happen.
 
I've let other opportunities slip though my fingers, I won't do that again.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine Kinkiness)

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:26:17 PM   
tanzur


Posts: 18
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i have spoken to a few Doms who marked Their profiles 'willing to relocate'.  i question why A/anyone would willingly come to NE Ohio....a recesssion is underway here and it snows for 6 months a year.  They all assure me They are willing to move house; They have no family or friends to hold Them where They are.
 
i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub

Some of the best men that I have ever come across are able to a job or have a career anywhere in the country. Picking up and moving from place to place does not bother them much; in addition I have found that alot of these kind of men have a better handle on themselves than those who stick to a place for their whole lives and never take a chance on something outside their comfort zone.
 
Just my own experiences.

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:32:51 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

i have spoken to a few Doms who marked Their profiles 'willing to relocate'.  i question why A/anyone would willingly come to NE Ohio....a recesssion is underway here and it snows for 6 months a year.  They all assure me They are willing to move house; They have no family or friends to hold Them where They are.
 
i wonder, perhaps unfairly, how together a Man could be that He could pick up and move to be near His lady friend.
 
Any thoughts?
 
pinksugarsub


Without even reading the rest of the thread, I  take issue with this comment.  As my  profile and journal states,  I am relocating to be with my Jarl.  In fact, I'm in transit even as I type.  And I think I have it  pretty fucking together and able to pick up and move to be with my  "Man friend".   Don't  go knocking those of us who have the guts and determination to make an LDR into a R/L one.   Maybe it's the ones who have all the excuses of not wanting to  relocate that don't have  it together.  Hmmm?

Wishing  y'all well anyway,
Sage

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:37:35 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~fr~
Some people have portable jobs.  Some are close to retirement.  Some are adventurous.  Some are desperate.  I would wonder about someone (of any orientation) who did not have stability and roots and was over-eager to relocate.  To me it screams of issues.


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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:43:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

~fr~
Some people have portable jobs.  Some are close to retirement.  Some are adventurous.  Some are desperate.  I would wonder about someone (of any orientation) who did not have stability and roots and was over-eager to relocate.  To me it screams of issues.



I planned to relocate to Southern California before I even met my Daddy... that was part of why we were willing to pursue our situation... although lots has happened over that time span with me considering other locales for relocation. I hate where I live and have no strings here whatsoever though. I do not find it odd that someone would be eager to relocate... I would find it odd if the only reason they were looking to relocate after chatting for a week is because I lived in a certain place... I mean picking up your life and moving it for someone you do not know is rather much in my opinion

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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:52:27 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings
You speak of some in generalities which do not apply to My woman and I. We have known each other, for a bit of a year, we have met and spent time together 4 times, and spoken countless others, on the phone and over the typed word. Screams of issues? Methinks you have some of your own.


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RE: Doms who are 'Willing to Relocate' - 11/27/2007 6:56:30 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Screams of issues? Methinks you have some of your own.


Methinks you missed the "over-eager" part.  But if it applies to you, so be it.



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