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Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 2:17:27 AM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well, this weekend, I went to a party at my local club's playspace with a Dominant who was from out of town. He pointed out it seemed that everyone was doing the same scene over and over again...different players...same scene. I know that our group has a lot of flogger enthusiasts, and that seems to be the normal scene going on. I was struck how without noticing it, the party scene's have become more and more flogging only. I also noticed that while the dungeon space has lots of equipment, the only ones really used are the kneeling benches and the crosses (neglecting a lovely bondage table, two posts with attatchment points up the length of them, and a suspension apparatus. Kudos to the staff for providing such a well stocked dungeon!) It was after discussing this with the Domly One, (and having a distinctly non-flogger scene), I started to wonder if this is normal for most clubs. Is it stagnation? Simply opperating in a comfort zone? Fear of "scaring the natives?"

I wonder why this is happening to our group. Any thoughts?

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 5:45:00 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i don't know how wide spread it is....but i have been a part of "scaring the natives" because i have been in scenes that were different...and i don't really understand what the big deal is but when you rock the boat they get all nervous....

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 6:04:04 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		It's a combination of things, really. We used to see this from time to time at our PEP group. Generally, people don't like to stick their necks out, by doing things that are too "otre' " for the room. So, they just settle into doing the basics. "Everyone else feels okay with flogging and spanking... so I'll just do that too."

The way we got around it was to put "themes" to our play parties. Just to shake things up, we would have things like pallet wrap night, or hot wax night. One particularly good night was the "erotic role play" night. Sure, people could show up dressed as they would for any of the other nights, but there would always be some who got into the spirit of the thing....

Mainly, you just have to help foster a sense of people having the permission to play as they like, without being judged on it.

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 6:08:00 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i like pallet wrap....

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 8:24:04 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		a true artist creates unto his or hers own vision.  in that lyes passion and beauty

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 8:36:48 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		People into this sort of thing seem to think they are very special and unusual. Most just end up as vanilla, with a touch of some technique that passes as kink tossed in.

It always amused me...........joining an alternative lifestyle-to explore new frontiers in standard expectations and confomities. Creativity never feels a need to "belong."

Trying to be part of "the in crowd" kills that faster than a fly hitting a bug zapper.


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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 8:48:19 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

Well, this weekend, I went to a party at my local club's playspace with a Dominant who was from out of town. He pointed out it seemed that everyone was doing the same scene over and over again...different players...same scene. I know that our group has a lot of flogger enthusiasts, and that seems to be the normal scene going on. I was struck how without noticing it, the party scene's have become more and more flogging only. I also noticed that while the dungeon space has lots of equipment, the only ones really used are the kneeling benches and the crosses (neglecting a lovely bondage table, two posts with attatchment points up the length of them, and a suspension apparatus. Kudos to the staff for providing such a well stocked dungeon!) It was after discussing this with the Domly One, (and having a distinctly non-flogger scene), I started to wonder if this is normal for most clubs. Is it stagnation? Simply opperating in a comfort zone? Fear of "scaring the natives?"

I wonder why this is happening to our group. Any thoughts?


Reading a post like this makes me appreciate what we have here in Denver even more.  We have a HUGE variety of play spaces and equipment, and it is used in so many different ways that it is hard to go there for a night and not see something new.  Of course, the Enclave is 95000 ft of social and play area with equipment I have never seen anywhere else...
 
An example is "the wheel".  The bottom is secured to this wheel and then it can be spun.  Makes for very interesting scenes.  lol  We have everything from the standard flogging and spanking, to whips, wax, palet wrap, knives, electrical... and the list goes on.  The links in my signature will show you what our club is like.  It is also the subject of a fight going on here that could end up in it being closed.  If the place goes down it will be due to the apathy of the community nationwide.  They are fighting a legal battle that could have national impact.... but, few anywhere but here seem to care.  It is a real shame.  If any of you are the least bit interested, read the thread "BDSM Crisis in Denver".

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 10:36:32 AM   
MasterMike04103


Posts: 143
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		You know, looking back on what I have witnessed for scenes, I can honestly say that it would appear that most people seem to follow what is considered acceptable for the space they are in. Sometimes even the greatest "leather assed" bottom and the most brutal Top will select toys that follow the flow of the space. For me, doing things like single tails, fire play and some of the more skilled play techniques, all have a time and a place. I am not sure of how the clubs or play areas are in your area are but I know in some places, there simply isn't enough room to safely play with whips or the venue has rules about fire play and the like.

Although I can't speak for places out side my own region, having friends around the world have told me about how each club is different and how the rules and space requirements have restricted scenes to simple floggings, spankings or whatever. I would also add that some toys unlike your basic floggers and paddles are harder to move covertly with. This could be a reason why people don't do more things, imagion having to take a commuter train with a lunge whip or canes sticking out of your toy sack. After all some people aren't as loud and proud as you might think they are in the vanilla world.

Thats my 23 cents on the matter,

Mike

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 11:22:41 AM   
tdslittlehelper


Posts: 79
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		all sorts of stuff happens at our club.. violet wand, fire play.. we even have a huge shower... 1763 rocks!!!  

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 11:38:50 AM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Was this Twisted Events or some other group? One thing about flogging is that it is easy to learn. Keep in mind that you started a group for new people, so I presume more and more new people are showing up at that play space, correct? So it would logically follow that there would be a preponderance of easy and simple scenes as they learned the ropes (feel free to groan). I know the one that I am attending does have a considerable percentage of just flogging (it is easy after all) but it is hardly the only scene happening.

Honsoku

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 11/20/2007 11:40:16 AM >

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 11:49:25 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Could be mind controlling aliens. Why would it matter to you what others enjoy doing?


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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 1:03:01 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		My wife and I attend a "stand & model" type event with some play going on as well. Usually there is one of about 3 types of scene going on, flogging, spanking, or violet wand. She and her Top did a scene where he used only his hands and parts of his body. The only reason that the DM did not stop the scene is that he knew me, and he saw how relaxed I looked while watching the scene. At the last event I had a scene planned that I was going to clear with the DM first that probably was going to have some people standing with their chins on their chests, and others running for the door. Unfortunately because of strange occurances I was not able to attend the last one... Maybe next time...

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 3:45:29 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		aliens are people too

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 3:47:58 PM   
MasterMike04103


Posts: 143
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		only the Legal ones LB, only the legal ones

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 3:52:58 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMike04103

only the Legal ones LB, only the legal ones

.....nice


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candy posts in pink font

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 4:09:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's just how it is.  Most of the people go towards most of the easy and basic stuff.

In our local group, my partner and I actually let new people know that the "Alice and Max show will be using fire at about midnight while the Janice and James show using needles will be about about 1 am" because it's really that predictable for the most part.

Doesn't mean there's not fun and variety- but it's more rare.

And I'm definitely one of the flogging/spanking types myself, I just find it hard to do anything else in between all my laughing most of the time.

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 5:51:21 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		This is a HUGE issue for me, I have even hosted "no flogger" events.  Part of the reason for the love of floggers is that most social scenes are run by and for the bottoms/submissives and they get a lot out of flogging.  That was in fact what turned me off to flogging and it has taken over a decade for me to decide to pick one up.

Flogging is also showy and many who flog will flog anyone, often with an eye for anyone they might actually want in the audience.  Sort of performing seals if you will.  (I know, my nutty asshole side is showing here!)

I often play only with my hands and body, using fingernails, teeth, my body, and of course my voice and mind.  Did my hottest deepest scene just that way with the help of some dark beast I dredged up from deep inside myself.

There ARE people who do cool scenes at events, but you see more varied play among gays and lesbians than hets.  Which is why I love playing with gays and lesbians! 

Hets tend to do the wild stuff at home, golden showers, sex, fisting, etc.  I go to events to let go and be loud and wild.  I got robbed last time because I let BSB torture some lucky guy for a couple of hours and I didn't get to use her properly but we had a great time later...did get to see her do some hot CBT and cock torture though, crushing a guy's cock with her heel will be an image I don't soon forget though...

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 5:59:39 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

This is a HUGE issue for me, I have even hosted "no flogger" events.  Part of the reason for the love of floggers is that most social scenes are run by and for the bottoms/submissives and they get a lot out of flogging.  That was in fact what turned me off to flogging and it has taken over a decade for me to decide to pick one up.

Flogging is also showy and many who flog will flog anyone, often with an eye for anyone they might actually want in the audience.  Sort of performing seals if you will.  (I know, my nutty asshole side is showing here!)


LOL  You are going to love going to partys down here... NOT!!!

Double dutching seems to be a fetish among the tops, along with glow in the dark falls and handles the light up.  There also seems to be a predominance of SM... Stand and Model and interrupting scenes.

One party, a couple are playing and a guy walks right in between them with a new toy he has and starts showing it off to the top.  They stand there and talk about the toy for a couple minutes right in the middle of the scene with the bottom chained up...  I will never forget that.  I just laughed.  I couldn't imagine anyone doing that to our play.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 6:05:00 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

LOL  You are going to love going to partys down here... NOT!!!



OH MY GOD GIRL... don't tell him that... He finds out what it is like in south florida.. BSB will have a hell of a time getting him to move their.

Sorry BSB

Michael... just ignore kyra ... she is rather delusional in her perspective of the play down there.



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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Party thoughts - 11/20/2007 6:09:32 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh come on, you guys KNOW how much I enjoy stirring up shit and shocking the locals!  It is hard not to cause a commotion showing up with BSB on your arm but I hope to impress them with something more than my taste in eye candy...

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