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Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:00:12 PM   
exquisitefeline1


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		A little off the subject of BDSM, but sex related.

My bf has been complaining that i want too much sex. i told my mum, that this is a common complaint with the men in my life. Mum's reply- "I am heading to 60 and I ain't ever heard no man complain about that, you are obviously not feeding him enough."
So i have hardly left the kitchen baking pies, cakes, brownies, bread and dropping platters off...

Then i was speaking with a gf last night who has the same problem, as well as a lot of her friends, she said that it is generally thought of that sex is driven by men, but she finds more and more that women have the same complaints. Mind you i am a sexually aware and expressive person, and usually find friendships with the same, there are alot of women who are afraid to reveal their full sexuality, and therefore may not feel sexually driven.

i was starting to worry that i may be nymphomaniac , but my friend assure me that i am not, that i am just a person who fully engages and is uninhibited to express myself. Which is a relief as any mania is a worry.

But what do other people think, is there imbalances in the sexuality of men and women? Could it be a gender thing or more of an inhibition thing?
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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:03:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's more a cultural expectation thing which leads to an inhibition thing which leads to a gender thing.

People who think females have less of a sex drive are also like the ones who call women the "fairer sex" and obviously have been very well fooled by the women in their lives to the point that they don't even recognize it.

I hope you can educate your boyfriend on the joys of sexual compatibility or find someone who is compatible with you.  You do not have too much of a need for sex- you simply have a different need than he does at this time.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:11:21 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exquisitefeline1

A little off the subject of BDSM, but sex related.

My bf has been complaining that i want too much sex. i told my mum, that this is a common complaint with the men in my life. Mum's reply- "I am heading to 60 and I ain't ever heard no man complain about that, you are obviously not feeding him enough."
So i have hardly left the kitchen baking pies, cakes, brownies, bread and dropping platters off...

Good god does that work? ~Makes a note to pick up some cookbooks~

Seriously, nothing that you feel is wrong or a "mania." Don't, please surpress it! Live it!!!

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:12:11 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I had an ex who would yammer about my being in my "sexual peak" or some such (I was in my mid-30s at the time) and to me it was a bunch of malarkey, but he was sorta right.  We're all ruled by our hormones, and there are more of those than estrogen and testosterone!   We all have peaks and valleys in our sex drives, and they are not always compatible with our partner's.  (apologies for the apostrophe, there's no way to make that fit all situations)

If you are thinking about sex to the point where you cannot fulfil your daily routines, get your job done properly, or get the kids off to school, then I would say you need to redirect your energy!  If you and your partner are just off-kilter, it's time to talk it over.  Or, ideally, NOT talk it over. 

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:19:29 PM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		If i start getting fed too much I guess I should ask the question - are you getting enough sex?
Seriously I think it is normal for people to have different levels of sex drive - and to want sex at different times .


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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/14/2007 8:23:51 PM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		Seriously, the only man who has been able to keep up with me, is the man who collared me.  Every single man aside from that has complained my sex drive was too high, one even wanted me to see a therapist... instead I saw a lawyer and got a divorce.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 4:39:26 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		lol- feed the overworked stud. lolol

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 4:40:16 AM   
exquisitefeline1


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		mid thirties, maybe that is what i is... but i dont feel that it is any different than ever, the only times i am low is when i am stuck in a really unhappy relationship.

well i get a lot of things done so i guess i dont have much to worry about... except that he may just not be that into me... or is using his energy on others... either way i guess i will be telling him that i am going to watch Bette Midler movies, paint my toenails sparkly purple and drink passion pop on Saturday night with my girlfriends... *wonders what has happened to my stilettos, fishnets...oh and can't forget the arnica this time, bruises are a dead give away* Tell the Colonel i am coming to town...

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 4:46:26 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		This post- well- from my frame of reference- the reverse is usually the case. The man wants it all the time- and the lady wishes simple cuddling could happen more.  maybe it is a phaze for him.  as for diet- fattening him up isnt really the answere- tho a healthy diet can effect body functions.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 5:03:05 AM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline 		i don't think mid-30's is a woman's sexual peak.  i'm not sure where it is, but my drive just keeps increasing, along with my fantasy life.  i don't remember ever thinking about sex so much before i turned 40.
 
pinksugarsub

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 5:11:23 AM   
exquisitefeline1


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		ohh jeez its bigger!

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 5:11:46 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Sorry, seems like kind of a "duh?" question to me... i've stated many times that if women (collectively) suddenly became as interested in sex as men are, the world economy would collapse  

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 5:18:25 AM   
exquisitefeline1


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		Now i didn't say interested.
Interest and drive is different to me.
i personally am not interested in having sex with everything that walks past me, but i am driven as a lover, the longer i am with someone, the more i am driven to the pleasures and pleasing.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 5:48:30 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I find women like an old car without brakes. Difficult to start in the morning but once it going and your on the motorway, you can't stop it.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 6:29:41 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I find women like an old car without brakes. Difficult to start in the morning but once it going and your on the motorway, you can't stop it.


... and all it takes is one second of inattention to turn an ordinary day into a scene of unspeakable carnage

i said interest, but i could have said drive. i won't actually be awake for another hour or so, cut me some slack.

What are the numbers, something like 70% of women masturbate, compared to 105% or so of men?

Prostitute clientele? i'd guess 90% male is probably a conservative estimate.

Have you ever been to the "other side" on this site and seen more pink/red names on-line than blue?

"Ladies Nights" at bars and clubs, higher prices for men at any kind of kink event, any time you see an ad for a dating site or a "singles chat line", who's talking? A pretty woman.

If your sex drive goes dormant when you're not in a relationship, you don't have a high sex drive. You have a strong drive for intimacy with your partner, and sexual contact is how you express it. Snot the same.

(If you want to play semantics games )

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 10:53:09 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		A woman's "sexual peak" is "supposed" to occur at age 32-33.
A man's at age 17.
But, I don't think it works that way though physiologically.
I was a lot "hotter" between 35-42 than I was at age 17!
I think I "peaked" at 40.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 11:01:40 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Women have as strong a sex drive as men, and it normally seems to increase in women, while men's ability decreases.

I just think that some men think their drive is stronger because some women tend to be more selective.

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 11:09:21 AM   
boytoy4female


Posts: 103
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline 		Funny, my wife says the same thing about me. Could this be further evidence that opposites attract?

It is my opinion that the sex drive is a basic instinct. It is often encumbered by the requirements of modern life.

Sometimes desire, left unsatisfied, can be more delicious or make the end result more satisfying. Men are hunters, deep down, part of the thrill is the pursuit.

How often is too much sex? I think to know if he is outside of the norm, or you are, the frequency needs to be considered.

Having said all that..I'm still jealous of him..*S*

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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 2:53:18 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have no sex drive whatsoever.  My sperm, on the other hand...

Oh crap.  Make that both hands.

OH CRAP!  Now it's on the keyboard!

*sighs and rolls his eyes*


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RE: Sex drive. Driven by men or women? - 11/15/2007 3:13:16 PM   
samboct


Posts: 1817
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline 		Hey -did everybody forget about Viagra?  Never mind cooking for the guy and making him fatter- just feed him a little blue pill.  Plus, a lot of people are more turned on when they're physically hungry as well- your nose generally works better too.  Or maybe you need to work on your technique a bit- announcing you're horny may work with a teenager no matter how you're dressed- but some guys appreciate the effort that gals go through to get dolled up for them- and hence it's hard to disappoint them when they do. 

Another possibility- and this is less pleasant- is that he's mad at you or bored- and just isn't that interested.  It's why stepping out in a relationship is so common- nature made it very, very easy for females to scratch that particular itch- and maybe it's time to consider somebody else. 

Sam

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