RE: The reality of "relocating"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The reality of "relocating"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The reality of "relocating"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 7:06:24 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greyarcher315

i am willing to relocate, but also very carefull about it. i am not going to jump in the car to go move in with someone i just met on CM. i would need to visit them and be very comfortable with them before i would even consider the move. On the other hand, there is something about new York state that makes me want to run screaming for the state line....

Hey! :( I'm in NYS! I'm not sure if I should be insulted!

To the OP:
Just keep an open mind. The internet has given us access to people we would normally never meet.
My pet moved from Florida to NYS to be with me; we "spoke" every day for hours over IM for a couple of months first. Due to circumstances on both ends, a r/t meet was not possible before he moved here so we tried to communicate as much as possible. Of course, he had a place to go if things had really not worked in the beginning.

Psy(Lady Jag)

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to greyarcher315)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 7:26:30 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Idowhatyousay

I'm a male sub in search of a dominant female.

I'm trying to be practical. But in my pragmatism, I think I'm in a fantastical realm.

I think I speak for many people who are yearning to be in a relationship, but given the supply side of the demand, find themselves peeking beyond the borders of their home states (or countries) to find that available, compatible person.

Okay. So that's where I'm at. I've spoken to several wonderful dominant women in various states, usually 1,000 miles away. (Don't get me wrong, I've spoken to some wonderful people right here at home, too) I'm 38 and seriously thinkingabout making the move. But I caught myself the other day.

"Could I really do it?"

And the bigger question: "Does she really want some guy to show up in her city?"

I know it will come down to that fateful day when all my stuff is packed and I'd driving across Kansas on a cold winter's night, with my family behind me. I did this once already...it was brutal.

No I would never "just show up." Any move would come only after visits, lots of communication, etc. There is one Lady whom I am very fond of. She seems to have so much depth, character, beauty. She's seems very real, a good person. I'd love to continue talking to her. I hope we get to know each other well. She's precious, and the same age as me, minus two short years.

Has anyone moved for their relationship, their kink?

I haven't, nor would I move for my kink. I would however consider moving for a serious relationship, but I'd have to be pretty sure of the relationship and I'd also make sure that I'd be happy with the new location even in the event of the relationship ending.

I plan to relocate to a different part of my state by next summer if all goes as planned, but for reasons other than a relationship. It's a very scary prospect indeed, but there are so many valid reasons which could lead to a re-location, why not do it for a relationship? I would say keep an open mind to it, if and when you feel it's for the right person/relationship. It could be the best move you make if you are careful and choose wisely.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 9:20:35 PM

dragonslave77

Posts: 32
Joined: 8/8/2007
Status: offline

About 3-4 months ago I moved 1600 miles to be with my Mistress, who I met online (not through CM, but another IRC/web site). I have no regrets whatsoever, and am probably the happiest I have been in my life.

However, that being said, I did make sure of a couple of very important things, at least to me. First, that are plenty of opportunities to pursue my other “vanilla” interests in the area, and that certain memberships transferred to the local area as well. Those two being in place, I also had to be sure in my own mind, that should the relationship between myself and my Mistress fall apart, that I would be able to “make it” in the new city alone.

I have the unique situation of having stable, decent income, regardless of where I live, and because of various family circumstances, I have lived much of my life alone. So, up and moving to a new city is probably much easier for me.

I also weighed in other factors: the fact that cost of living in the new city is much cheaper, and the fact that I probably would have been spending way too much money on plane tickets to fly to spent time with my Mistress.

All this being said, I would agree with the advice others have presented here: extended visits, take things slowly, have a back up plan, make sure you can support yourself and make sure you can have a life separate from the relationship and BDSM in the new area.

So far, I'd consider myself one of the success stories of relocating to be with someone, to “follow your kink”. I personally would make the same decision again, and am very happy. I sincerely hope my Mistress feels the same way as I do about things, and that in some small way I am able to enrich her life as well.

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 9:30:18 PM

damia

Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

I met my Wulf, and relocated from Washington, D.C. to the Triad area of North Carolina to be closer to him, then to Fayetteville to live with him after we got married. Now, that's not -that- far for me...8 hours from where I was to Fayetteville, and I'm used to travelling and moving, but it is relocation all the same.

I wouldn't have moved, if I hadn't been able to find a job in the area. I regretted moving at first, because I love D.C., but it was worth it, being able to see my Wulf much more often, and without an 8 hour drive.

~Jewel

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)

Profile

Post #: 44