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The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 6:39:45 PM   
Idowhatyousay


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/9/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a male sub in search of a dominant female.

I'm trying to be practical. But in my pragmatism, I think I'm in a fantastical realm.

I think I speak for many people who are yearning to be in a relationship, but given the supply side of the demand, find themselves peeking beyond the borders of their home states (or countries) to find that available, compatible person.

Okay. So that's where I'm at. I've spoken to several wonderful dominant women in various states, usually 1,000 miles away. (Don't get me wrong, I've spoken to some wonderful people right here at home, too) I'm 38 and seriously thinkingabout making the move. But I caught myself the other day.

"Could I really do it?"

And the bigger question: "Does she really want some guy to show up in her city?"

I know it will come down to that fateful day when all my stuff is packed and I'd driving across Kansas on a cold winter's night, with my family behind me. I did this once already...it was brutal.

No I would never "just show up." Any move would come only after visits, lots of communication, etc. There is one Lady whom I am very fond of. She seems to have so much depth, character, beauty. She's seems very real, a good person. I'd love to continue talking to her. I hope we get to know each other well. She's precious, and the same age as me, minus two short years.

Has anyone moved for their relationship, their kink?






Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 6:57:55 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Not moved, so much, but I do try to drive across country to visit old friends as often as I can. I currently live in Central Arkansas, and my old stomping grounds is Denver.... a good 14 hour drive. But, back there, is a woman whom I've played with off and on for five years. We've been more than just players, we've helped each other through some pretty serious "life shit." Trust me when I tell you, with a strong enough connection, no distance is too great.

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 7:20:57 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I moved from an island in the Puget Sound of WA state.  I now live in MT during the summer months, and AZ during the winter months as he's a snowbird.  We met at a BDSM campout in WA. 

When i first made the move i had a backup plan.  If things didn't work out i could have moved back to my home and job 2 months after i left.  Well, i'm still doing the snowbird thing after 2 years and have enjoyed each and every day.  There are times i've wondered if i'll live to regret the move, but that doesn't happen very often and is mostly based on financial considerations.  If i were younger the move might have been more difficult. 

It's hard to offer advice to someone who might be contemplating a relocation.  All i can say is take your time.  Weigh all the options.  Realize life is short and sometimes you might need to take a chance, but make certain your hopes are based on real possibilities.  And most of all...you'll need luck and an understanding partner. 

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 7:21:20 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I am also currently involved in an LDR  was not seeking out, it started as a friendship knowing I had no intentions of moving because of my job and family,  He asked me to consider him and if things work out he has agreed to move here. Pretty much all the relocation stories I read about, it was the sub that relocated  I don't even think I have read of one where the Dom moved to be with his sub, htough i am sure it occurs

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to bipolarber)
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RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 7:22:02 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		I met a man on here & we became friends.  He recently recently moved closer to me.  I think it would have felt scary/stalker if it had just been based on his need for BDSM or his search for a Domme. 

So no, I don't want "some guy" showing up.   But I am glad my friend is closer.

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 7:35:31 PM   
hammerthrower


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		Do what you feel is right. I sense that you're really coming into your own, and looking to make things real. Good for you. I wish you the best. Remember: friends and family will always be just a plane ride or phone call away. Hey, we even have webcams for those non-naughty occasions.

< Message edited by hammerthrower -- 11/8/2007 7:37:30 PM >

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 7:44:47 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		i moved from a neighbouring city to live with C in April last year. This was after commuting on a weekly basis every weekend for 2 months.
There are moments when i miss family, old friends and favourite coffee shops but what i have gained makes it all worthwhile.
i realize that the distances you are contemplating are much greater than what we faced. i can visit as often as work and life permits but it was still a big move for me.
any regrets???? hell no
life is truly wonderful
c
edited for clarity lol

< Message edited by completenz -- 11/8/2007 7:56:10 PM >

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 8:10:21 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Idowhatyousay
Has anyone moved for their relationship, their kink?

Yep.  Moved 800 miles south to live with Master.  I moved from central WV to central Arkansas but only after visiting many times.  I had a good job with tons of saved up vacation days so I would go down for 2 weeks at a time or more and did so many times before relocating.  I got to know my way around the city and get some job leads, etc. before taking the plunge.  We've both been wonderfully happy and I now have a great job.  Without CollarMe, I would've never had the opportunity to meet Him.  Thanks CM.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
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RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 8:29:11 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yep i moved across country....and then back...just to be with my Master/Daddy. Granted, i loved both places that we've lived tremendously so that made it a bit easier, and i was also familiar with both areas.

But i moved to my home state for a year while i dated my Daddy in a LDR- we had our place there and then we moved all of this stuff back  to the other coast....This was a really great way for me to adjust to alot of things.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 8:33:28 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I moved to Nashville after having collared Angel. I did not move here to pursue a kink. I moved here to be with someone who was at that time the center of my world. The BDSM aspect was not my motivation.
I was ready for a change, and it presented itself.

I would not change my relocation for the world.  I am very happy out here, I still have my Angel and I met Fox, who is local to Nashville.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 8:47:46 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
I did not move here to pursue a kink. I moved here to be with someone who was at that time the center of my world. The BDSM aspect was not my motivation.

Beautifully said, DV.  I thought about throwing that thought out there in my post as well but didn't.  However, I couldn't agree more.  I wouldn't have done it for a "kink."  The BDSM aspect was just icing on the cake..............luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 11/8/2007 8:48:39 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 9:14:09 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have willing to relocate on my profile.

But willing and ready are two completely different things.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 9:22:01 PM   
greyarcher315


Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline 		  i am willing to relocate, but also very carefull about it. i am not going to jump in the car to go move in with someone i just met on CM. i would need to visit them and be very comfortable with them before i would even consider the move. On the other hand, there is something about new York state that makes me want to run screaming for the state line....

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 9:24:32 PM   
oreogirl


Posts: 1039
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Willing and ready for the right one.   I just need the chance to say goodbye.  Being a nomad/transient makes it easier to say bye to family and friends.

_____________________________

Submissive does not mean weak.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ich diene Ihnen, weil ich Sie liebe. Ich liebe Sie, weil ich Ihnen diene. Es macht in meinem Herzen keinen Unterschied.

(in reply to greyarcher315)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/8/2007 9:29:27 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
I did not move here to pursue a kink. I moved here to be with someone who was at that time the center of my world. The BDSM aspect was not my motivation.

Beautifully said, DV.  I thought about throwing that thought out there in my post as well but didn't.  However, I couldn't agree more.  I wouldn't have done it for a "kink."  The BDSM aspect was just icing on the cake..............luci


Ditto here.  I'm moving around January.  I am not moving to satisfy a kink; I am movng to be with the center of my world, just as DV said.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 2:09:34 AM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline 		I can't imagine relocating for anyone. But then again I can't imagine marrying anyone either..I'd have to trust somone to marry them.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 2:13:09 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Sheesh, I won't even drive an hour away for a friend or a really good night out, never mind relocate for a guy.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 2:54:22 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Idowhatyousay

Has anyone moved for their relationship, their kink?

I'm in the process of crossing the Atlantic in a permanent fashion for my relationship.  In all honesty, I don't think it is such a big deal.  I want to live where I'm relocating to (New York), anyway.  And I can do my work from almost anywhere. 

It's not easy, mind.  But for her I'd cross ten thousand oceans.


I don't recommend doing it lightly, either.  If we hadn't lived together for some time previously, I would be entering the complete unknown.  I know exactly what awaits me, and I have visited her and her family many times before, and we have been in a relationship for a while (engaged since August! Yay!!).

Perhaps I am a bit of a nomad, but the world is a lot smaller than it used to be, twenty...even ten years ago.  At this point, it's all about my need for committment, my need for her.  The rest just pales in comparison.


_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Idowhatyousay)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 4:51:43 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

I am also currently involved in an LDR  was not seeking out, it started as a friendship knowing I had no intentions of moving because of my job and family,  He asked me to consider him and if things work out he has agreed to move here. Pretty much all the relocation stories I read about, it was the sub that relocated  I don't even think I have read of one where the Dom moved to be with his sub, htough i am sure it occurs


Well Master moved diagonally across Australia (about 5000km or just over 3000 miles) to be with me! In the first instance (Aug 03) W/we met in neither of O/our home states but somewhere sort of between for 5 days, then in Nov 03 i travelled to His home to visit and serve Him for 11 glorious days, then in Feb/Mar 04 He flew over to stay in my home in Perth for 22 days. Based on that and countless hours online and on phone, He decided to "break His own rule" and relocate to me rather than vice versa. Lots of good reasons for that, W/we thought He would have more opportunities in Perth and at that stage i was half owner of a fabulous property for bdsm so it made sense! So in June 04 i flew to Queensland and helped Him drive car and trailerfull of His belongings to Perth. Things didn't quite work out as planned so Feb 07 saw U/us driving back across the Nullarbor and north again with different car, same trailer, to settle in Queensland about 300km south of His home town (also for good reasons, including privacy from parents!). Any regrets on either side? None whatsoever, both moves were great at the time. So see, it can happen that a Dom can relocate to be with His sub!

Sure, don't rush it, have visits, have some space between to see just how much you miss them, spend some time together in regular life mode not just vacation mode. But relocation CAN work and it can be worthwhile, it can be the best choice you make! Master is certainly my best choice (i call it 3rd time lucky, having been married twice for 16 and then 12 years!). Yes it is a wrench to leave family, friends and all that is familiar ... i had lived in Perth for 40 of my 51 years so it has been an upheaval, but i love where W/we have settled (even though i hadn't seen the town till W/we flew here to buy the house in January!) ... Master's choice was excellent! Now if W/we can just get a bit more income ... hopefully O/our new musical duo that W/we are working on (i wanted to call U/us "Whipped Cream" but Master said No ) will achieve just that!

violet[A] cos Maam Jay didn't get a word in this time!

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Maya2001)
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RE: The reality of "relocating" - 11/9/2007 6:28:07 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yep Master relocated to NY from Michigan. He is orginally from California and his family is out there so its  quite a distance!

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 20
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