RE: Help with understanding "Scening"

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/5/2007 4:56:04 AM

TNstepsout

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To OP, you are getting too hung up in what the term means to you. Why would you reject an activity simply because you don't like the word used to describe it? That's like saying you don't like "movies" because it sounds too much like "moving around" and you prefer to sit still. Or you won't get into an "automobile" because it sounds too much like "automatic" and you want to be in control when behind the wheel. (in which case you would state that you prefer trucks) It really makes no sense.

The term "scene" just happens to be the word chosen to describe those periods of time set aside for BDSM activities. It can be as complex, elaborate and scripted as you want or it can be as simple as grabbing your hair and swatting your butt. It can have everything to do with play acting, or it can have nothing to do with play acting. It has nothing to do with munches specifically as you can also "scene" at home, in a hotel, or even in a car. In fact you can even have a great "scene" outdoors tied to a tree. It's called a "scene" because people had to call it something.

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/5/2007 5:53:39 AM

mya75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

To OP, you are getting too hung up in what the term means to you. How so?
Why would you reject an activity simply because you don't like the word used to describe it? I think many people reject activities based on the general populations "definition" of the word used to describe it. That's like saying you don't like "movies" because it sounds too much like "moving around" and you prefer to sit still. Or you won't get into an "automobile" because it sounds too much like "automatic" and you want to be in control when behind the wheel. (in which case you would state that you prefer trucks) It really makes no sense. Its not the word itself for me its the general definition and actions . Of course I know I can make "scening" into anything I want but for the sake of this post I used a word "scening" and a definition: playing or acting out a bdsm activity and I ask a question regarding it and how it works for others........Thank you for the response *smiles*

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/5/2007 6:00:22 AM

Synocense

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It is a quiet Friday night and suddenly my owner instructs me into bedroom and says "strip". I am bound to the bed, watching Master choose toys of interest from the coat rack on the wall. Anticipation grows and I whimper as I always do when faced with this sort of mystery. A crop in his hand and he is teasing my nipples, a devilish smile on his lips and a spark in his eyes. "My favorite toy" -- and he isnt talking about the crop, he then proceeds to give me stinging smacks. When he is finished, I am red, warm and welted. He is sweating and breathing hard and might or might not want sexual attention. Either way, always we feel closer to each other, emotionally bonded tighter than the hour before. This is a scene, this is our playtime.

Saturday evening and we go to the local dungeon. I set up the toys on the toy tree and he instructs me where and how to position myelf. There are many people in the viewing area, some watching, some socializing. It doesnt matter because this moment in time it is about my owner and myself. My hands are bound above me while I stand with my feet spread. In a short amount of time I am squirming and sometimes swearing and laughing or maybe sobbing...i am releasing energy and he is picking it up, it has grown and he gives it back. It goes in a cycle like this throughout the entire time we are on the dungeon floor. After an hour or so, I am spent, I have no more fight in me, I only feel calm and peaceful. I am taken down and we care for eachother. This is our scene.

In both of these examples, I am myself and he is himself. The only props are those he chooses to take into his hands and the reality is what we choose it to be. : )

I adore the physical aspects of a scene as much as I do the psycological. It is invigorating and empowering at times. It helps us to center after a particularly grueling week and sometimes it is just outright fun.

Sincerely,
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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/5/2007 7:21:04 AM

MrrPete

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

I can only answer for myself and for me it seems to be play acting that is why I havent gotten into it .....

While play acting can be a part of a scene as when role playing, say, Preist/sinner but
not always.

What does BDSM mean? originally it meant Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism and was meant to convey activities in a broad sense. It's simply a term we use to tell others what we do quickly. The term WIITWD , to me, is just a discription of BDSM. Because some felt that BDSM didn't cover some activites.

People often try to put specifics to very broad terms and therefore miss the intended meaning.

I have no problem with either term, scene or play, as I think of them in very broad terms.

Scene - a term used when two or more poeple engage in BDSM activites

Play - Describes what we DO in a scene in a very general way.

Scene can ALSO mean the BDSM lifestyle in general.

It is simply the language and terms of BDSM that has been developed over the years
and it amazes me how people can't leave things well enough alone and just HAVE to redifine everything. It's usually people that haven't done their homework and don't want to do it.

Defining things within a relationship is fine as long as you realize the same terms WON'T always have the same meaning on the outside.

What better word is there to describe when people engage in BDSM than scene?
Scene is the term that has developed within the scene. [sorry, I just couldn't resist that]

PLAY is what we do in a scene and has nothing to do with kids. Again it is a GENERAL term. Sometimes it is interchangable with scene.

"I went to a BDSM party last night and I played/scened with miss good body" simply means I engaged miss good body in BDSM.

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/5/2007 7:24:02 AM

RRafe

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I worry about what my partner thinks about what we do-not what others think.

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/6/2007 3:56:45 AM

TNstepsout

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

To OP, you are getting too hung up in what the term means to you. How so?
Why would you reject an activity simply because you don't like the word used to describe it? I think many people reject activities based on the general populations "definition" of the word used to describe it. That's like saying you don't like "movies" because it sounds too much like "moving around" and you prefer to sit still. Or you won't get into an "automobile" because it sounds too much like "automatic" and you want to be in control when behind the wheel. (in which case you would state that you prefer trucks) It really makes no sense. Its not the word itself for me its the general definition and actions . Of course I know I can make "scening" into anything I want but for the sake of this post I used a word "scening" and a definition: playing or acting out a bdsm activity and I ask a question regarding it and how it works for others........Thank you for the response *smiles*

This is sort of like having a discussion wherin you state that you don't like vehicles because you can only get two people in them. Someone replies that there are many kinds of vehicles and some will hold many more than just two people. You respond that you know that, but you are referring to the kind of vehicle that only holds two people.

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/6/2007 9:32:08 AM

mya75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

To OP, you are getting too hung up in what the term means to you. How so?
Why would you reject an activity simply because you don't like the word used to describe it? I think many people reject activities based on the general populations "definition" of the word used to describe it. That's like saying you don't like "movies" because it sounds too much like "moving around" and you prefer to sit still. Or you won't get into an "automobile" because it sounds too much like "automatic" and you want to be in control when behind the wheel. (in which case you would state that you prefer trucks) It really makes no sense. Its not the word itself for me its the general definition and actions . Of course I know I can make "scening" into anything I want but for the sake of this post I used a word "scening" and a definition: playing or acting out a bdsm activity and I ask a question regarding it and how it works for others........Thank you for the response *smiles*

This is sort of like having a discussion wherin you state that you don't like vehicles because you can only get two people in them. Someone replies that there are many kinds of vehicles and some will hold many more than just two people. You respond that you know that, but you are referring to the kind of vehicle that only holds two people.

Do you not believe everyone is entitled to view things in there own way?Or must they see things exactly as you do.. I dont think I have tried to persuade those that think differently than myself...I asked a question as to how scening works for others......if my view or definition of scening has bothered or offended you then I am sorry .......be well

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/6/2007 9:48:27 AM

TNstepsout

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

Do you not believe everyone is entitled to view things in there own way?Or must they see things exactly as you do.. I dont think I have tried to persuade those that think differently than myself...I asked a question as to how scening works for others......if my view or definition of scening has bothered or offended you then I am sorry .......be well

I have no idea how my last post led to this conclusion. I guess I'll just have to agree to be baffled.

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/6/2007 9:49:57 AM

Celeste43

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For us it just means play. When I'm all tied up that's scening, when we're watching JV Football lose yet again, it isn't,

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/7/2007 5:17:32 AM

Jasmyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy
To me, doing a scene is very real for the people doing it but, i also think of it as being 'set-up' and not spontaneous. While i have never been involved in doing scenes, from what i have read and been told, scening involves some prior discussion between the people involved in it and some negotiations about what will and will not be done and how long it can last and establishing the safeword that will be used, etc. When my Master uses me, there is no discussion about it, no negotiations and no safeword involved. It's spontaneous and lasts as long as He wants it to last and it stops only when He feels that it should stop. To me, that doesn't make it any more "real" than a scene is. It just makes it different.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

A lot of scenes are negotiated beyond spontenaiety, let alone recognition within tpe 24/7 relationships and a lot of scenes between people not in tpe 24/7 relationships start, happen, and end, with no discussion, no negotiations and no safewords ... are often spontaneous, stopping only when the dominant party feels that it should ...

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RE: Help with understanding "Scening" - 11/7/2007 12:17:59 PM

bipolarber

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Just a couple of other thoughts about this subject:

First, I don't think that a scene has to be "scripted" per se. I think that Fetish Diva Midori was right when she said that good scenes should at least have an intent behind them. This intent could be to practice your rope work, to see how your sub takes to being hot waxed, or to see if you can induce an erection from across the room with nothing more than your words, or maybe just to give yourselves a few really good orgasms... Like any good schoolyard game, scenes seem to work best when they have an objective.

Secondly, on the matter of scripts, I've met quite a few people who have elaborate fantasies going on inside their heads. So elaborate, in fact that unless the thing is played out to the letter, they have a hard time getting any satisfaction out of their encounters. Have any of you come across the same thing? Literally, I've been with someone who was telling me things like: "No, the harness has to be red..." or "Can't you laugh any more evilly than that?"

I wonder how you might go about getting someone to loosen up about their fantasy? (At least to the point where they can enjoy themselves again in real life.) It seems like sometimes the fantasy becomes a stranglehold on the imagination, and the libedo.

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