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The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 7:34:57 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I see that alot.. "the one for you is out there".  Is there only one?  What happens if your chance at one passed on, passed you on, or just plain lives across the country and you never meet?  Why do people say "one" when they should say someone?  I have had one, then two.. is the three for me out there?
Maybe it is that I am very lonely now that my youngest has left the nest and there is no "one" but.. gosh I would slit my wrists today if I thought there was only supposed to be one match for me out there.
Right now I would settle for someone doable, forget that life time romance stuff, just basic compatibility that can be worked on and worn into a suitable fit.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 7:41:17 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think there is more than one match.  And that a person suited for you when you are in your 20's isn't necessarily the same person suited to you when you are in your 40's.  I struggled with being lonely when my youngest left home.  I obtained a second job.  It has done wonders for me, not only a little bit of extra cash, but a new set of coworkers and friends and big time filler.  I also do things with friends and by myself.  Even though I'm not in a relationship, I don't feel lonely.  Every once in a while I will have a pity party, but I get over it quickly.  I decided that I'm not going to depend on another person to fulfil me.  My life improved alot after I came to that understanding.


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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 7:45:25 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Well I had a few the "ones".  I can't live my life waiting for the "one". If I had done that I never would have found Master.  I don't like the term the "one" . It implies that there is only one.  It is realistic that relationships don't last forever, some do and I hope mine does to Master.

Sometimes things happen and we have to search again. Sometimes the first pick isn't a good match. Sometimes we just have to try out a few before the right match comes along.

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 7:48:13 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Many people believe we have just one soulmate out there.  I actually believe we have many soulmates - people who come into our lives and touch us and/or relate to us deeply for a given period of time.  Sometimes they leave, sometimes they stay, but we are touched none-the-less.  Sometimes we have more than one soulmate at a given time, too.

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 7:49:07 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I definitely think there is more than one out there, when I use the term "One", I mean the one you are with, as opposed to everyone else.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 8:31:23 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Heh.. more of a "love the one you're with", huh?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I definitely think there is more than one out there, when I use the term "One", I mean the one you are with, as opposed to everyone else.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 8:33:17 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		yeah I try to keep busy anyway since my relationship ended.  I own two businesses, and have a part time job on the side.  It's hard to imagine where I could fit in something that fills those moments I shared with my son.  Dang I miss him already.
*sigh*
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/3/2007 8:44:48 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		No, there is only ONE.  We are each halves of a single soul that has been split and our only fulfillment in life will come from finding our other half, otherwise we remain incomplete.  If you never find your other half, you are being punished for the sins of a former life.  Mercy on your severed soul.

Oh... wait... I'm in a poly relationship with love all the way around... and I've been in love twice before that with people who were the best thing in the world for me at the time... and was perfecty whole and happy when I was single... maybe I should rethink that first paragraph... 

Just thought we needed some dissention.

~ J

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~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 3:28:06 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I don't buy the one soulmate thing. If there were only one out there, we'd be built in with some kind of spiritual sonar to find them. The search for One would make all the rest irrelevent. And they were all very relevent.

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 3:57:24 AM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		I’ve always taken the approach that the ten for me are out there somewhere. Try before you buy that kind of thing.

In all seriousness I’d hate to think there was only one because that means a lot of people will be destined for a lonely life.

< Message edited by Raechard -- 11/4/2007 3:58:55 AM >

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 5:15:18 AM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I am having this ongoing conversation with my teen unmentionable right now (he has his first real g/f).

I remember thinking that if I wasn't with "insert name" or "insert name", my life would be over...well, 25 years later, you can insert several names..lol.  When I became an adult, I knew my life wouldn't be over when the relationship was, but in grade school and hs, those rational thoughts don't exist.

I'd like to hold the romantic view of "the one" but I can't.  Instead, I believe in those I call my "forevers".  These are people who can be friends, lovers or even enemies- what they all have in common is that they are people I feel immediately close to; people who will touch my life on a deeper level than the cashier at the grocery store.

Not all of my relationships were with "forevers" but they are easy to pick out.  They are the ones that I "feel" on a level deeper than the concious.  The ones I can tell walk into a room without actually seeing or hearing them.

Being poly also blows the whole "one" theory out of the water.

And my last um is only 6, so I have years to go before the empty nest syndrome hits(theoretically)

Psy/Lady Jag

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Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 5:39:24 AM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		I don't believe in the "One" or soul mates or destiny in relationships. However it is true that as our fetishes and kinks get more powerful and controlling of our sexuality with age it is harder to find  compatibility.

But even at our advanced age and extreme fetish needs for things like TPE and 24/7 slavery I feel certain that there are still a great many potential slaves out there for us. I suppose that makes us a glass half full sort of Dom/me couple

Bill and Iris

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 6:31:16 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I see that alot.. "the one for you is out there".  Is there only one?  What happens if your chance at one passed on, passed you on, or just plain lives across the country and you never meet?  Why do people say "one" when they should say someone?  I have had one, then two.. is the three for me out there?
Maybe it is that I am very lonely now that my youngest has left the nest and there is no "one" but.. gosh I would slit my wrists today if I thought there was only supposed to be one match for me out there.
Right now I would settle for someone doable, forget that life time romance stuff, just basic compatibility that can be worked on and worn into a suitable fit.
Kyst


There was a movie I saw once called Made in Heaven....interesting as a training movie on this point....the way we could miss the One, passing them in the street, being a thousand miles away from them in space but only six degrees of separation.

The internet I think is a two edged sword. It has transformed the world of scarcity and isolation and lonliness into a world of community and abudance BUT it does tend to make one believe that infinite choice is possible. If this one isn't quite right, then the next one will be and so on.
The grass IS greener on the other side of the fence but guess what? It needs weeding.

Nothing and no-one is ever going to be perfect unless the deal is that we agree it to be so. And yes 'do-able' is for me most of what is perfect. 'Doing it' it always makes it perfect for me and I think it is because when i am doing it I transform that person into perfect. Maybe that's a submissive thing to do. It's just what I do.

But as the song says, if you can't be with the One you love, do the one your with..(almost right).

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 6:35:55 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I see that alot.. "the one for you is out there".  Is there only one? 


Nope.. I can definitely say there was at least Two...  and you know what there just might be more.

However,  regardless of being one or a thousand... all that counts is can I handle what I have.   I have two.. we do extremely well.. I am very doubtful that I could add another and still maintain the happiness we all enjoy now.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 6:36:46 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'm too secure in the knowledge that I can be happy alone........to obsess over some romantic concept like a "soulmate". I prefer not to wear rose colored glasses-they obscure the view of the road ahead, and I hate finding myself in the ditch.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 11/4/2007 6:37:19 AM >

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 6:55:07 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		in this day and age there is some many negatives that is hard to find one positive person to match us.  do not let fashion drive your search for love. the fashion nazis only know what is feels good for the moment. Life is more then about passing moments.  It is about doing something beyond past present and furture. Something you can carry witn you each day. If true love happens it happens in ITS OWN WAY.  i think here is the flaw in our lifestyle is people do not know how to love. they do not know how to love themselves or the perons they are with. Some carry so much baggae that if they where to go on a cruise ship it would sink lol.

   Good people can dectect negitive engergy  WE talked about energy on another thread. When I am in my up cycle of good things. All my friends love interest start to come around and call it is really strange. For example (see if you can explain this ) when we have a new love in our life every old love comes around rofl  why the hell is that. And on both sides shrugs.  So here is my answer to the question

  1. shed all negitive engergy
  2. do for others
  3. treat your self
  4. grow your knowledge and self awareness
  5. Give and Take with everyone  (learn how important it is to get and give some people have a problem with this )
  6. what kinks are important and onces that are not ( compromise) Love is about compromise
  7. we all make Mistakes (lieing making bad choices ) 
  8. Advice from friends anf family ( remeber this  it is your life not theirs so if they do not like your love interest or friends or who your family is that is just to bad make the choices for you not for them )

guidelines are just that you take them any way you want to.  But live for you  You only get one life

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 7:50:00 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I had a guy tell me once he had a divining rod to find his soulmate.  Umm.. the only thing is it pointed to every girl he danced with that night.
I became skeptical.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

I don't buy the one soulmate thing. If there were only one out there, we'd be built in with some kind of spiritual sonar to find them. The search for One would make all the rest irrelevent. And they were all very relevent.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 7:58:49 AM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		There is one out there - but in the meantime have fun and play with others you meet. And you may not meet the one - but at least you had fun looking.

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Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 8:54:18 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I'm too secure in the knowledge that I can be happy alone........to obsess over some romantic concept like a "soulmate". I prefer not to wear rose colored glasses-they obscure the view of the road ahead, and I hate finding myself in the ditch.


As usual, I agree with this Master.
I will take it a step further and say, I found the one for me.
ME!
Loving yourself will take you a long way in this world.

IF, I find someone else on the journey, that will be even better, but I always have
ME. 

I also want to add, that I don't believe in that theory of there only being ONE person for everyone.
If that is the case, my ONE person is probably in India!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/4/2007 9:02:39 AM >

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: The "one" for you is out there.. - 11/4/2007 9:12:22 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		My Master met and married the person that at the time he thought was his "one". Sadly she died tragically early. Thankfully he came to realise that there is more than one person in life for us. If there were not we would not be together and love each other as we do now.

I know that he loves me very much, but I also know that he still loves her too but in a different way.

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