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RE: The magic switch - 10/31/2007 4:23:29 PM

probablyknowme

Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

So there was a thread here a few days back, in which the following idea was put forth.

If you could pull a magic lever and erase your kink, would you do it?

Significant portions of the responses were in the affirmative, that is, people did not want to be the way they were. But, all they said is that they didn’t want to be what they were, they never explained why.

Those of you who know me, and know my posts, are aware that I am primarily interested in the psychological aspects of BDSM. That said, a response such as that, with so little in the way of explanation, cannot help but draw my attention. I want to know WHY you would give up your kink, give up your interest in BDSM? What event has happened to you, how were you hurt, that has made you ashamed or unhappy with the way you are?

I understand that I may get very little if nothing at all in the way of responses to this post. If explaining why you wish to give up your kink will do nothing but cause more pain, please do not do so.

However, if sharing your story will not cause more grief, and especially if it will help, please…. Share it with us all. Or if you would prefer, by all means send me a response in a personal message.

Best wishes to you on your journey, wherever it takes you.
M. Shibari

Edit: If you are not one of those people, feel free to tell me why as well.

I am going to deliberately ignore the negativity, and respond to this. If such a switch were present, I would probably erase it. Before I discovered this lifestyle and as a result finally had a definition what was a need in myself, I managed to find some semblence of happiness in "normal" (Gawd I hate that word!) relationships. They were easier. I didn't feel the need to do as much self-examination. I didn't have to worry about defining my relationships as much, I mean, if the sex was good, and I could stand to talk to them outside of the bedroom, it was okay.
And for heavens' sake, there were many many more fish in the vanilla pond compared to the kinky pond.

But since such a switch doesn't exist, I thrive with my kink!

_____________________________

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
-Anon.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewcomersOK/

(in reply to MasterShibari)

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Post #: 21

RE: The magic switch - 10/31/2007 5:39:07 PM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
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Honestly I'd think very hard about it, and there's a good chance that I would. Accepting this part of myself was a painful process that took almost 10 years, where I was bascially so ashamed that I couldn't even think about it. I don't feel that way anymore thankfully. However as much as I might enjoy the kink, I'm intensely aware of how much easier my life would be if I were "normal"...and I've tried to be that way at least a few times. I don't really like having to be careful who I "out myself" to, keeping in mind the possibility of professional problems down the road.

I guess I feel being vanilla would simplify things, in terms of how I live my life. Relationships are hard enough without having a whole lot of other needs stacked on top of it all. Needs that a lot of people don't understand and are quite uncomfortable with.

(in reply to probablyknowme)

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Post #: 22

RE: The magic switch - 11/1/2007 12:10:46 AM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindUnknown

<OP>

This is a little too open ended...

Am i simply removing the kink? Or, am i removing ALL the psychological damage that made me this way?

For the purposes of this thread, I would say simply removing your kink, not any damage.

Thank you for the frankness and honesty of your response.

M. Shibari

Ah, thanks then, in that case, absolutely not. Just so everyone's clear with my previous response =P

< Message edited by BlindUnknown -- 11/1/2007 12:13:04 AM >

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to MasterShibari)

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Post #: 23

RE: The magic switch - 11/1/2007 7:57:24 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

"significant portions of the responses were affirmative?"

I just reviewed the thread in question MasterShibari, and of the 68 responses (subtracting your own...) there was exactly ONE affirmative response.

Really? Just me?

i am a special special snowflake after all!