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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 9:23:00 AM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

If someone wants to deal strictly with the language... they are similiar.
In action and in life, though, there is  ahuge different. Dominants can be passive. Submissives can be passive. Vanillas can be passive.



I take your points, DV. Especially the last three sentences.

Even in the conventional uses of the words, though, I think we can see a difference which can be instructive in terms of the original poster's question.

Passivity can be seen as a thing in itself. One can be passive in isolation, so to speak, or passive in the presence in interaction with other people and things.

But for the word submit to mean anything (familiar) there has to be a submitting to. And if there is a submitting to then there must be a person, thing or idea being submitted to.

We all submit to the rule of law, for the most part. At different times we do so by acting (paying taxes) or omitting action (refraining from shoplifting.) My suggestion is that when we refrain from stealing an item we could use we are exercising an active intention to live within the law. To call that passivity seems to smudge away away too much of the meaning to be found in the action.

My personal take on the words, in reference to the behavior of partners in d/s relationships, see the words "passive" and "submissive" as being at odds rather than being synonyms.

To submit to me is an intentional act, an act of the mind first. Often enough it involves physical acts as well, or the refraining from physical acts. If you're sitting on the porch quietly watching the world go by, that might be simple passivity. If you're doing so because Daddy Said So then I would see you as acting on an intention to obey. If you're playing a spirited game of tennis at my behest you are, in my view, submitting to me just as well, and there isn't much passive about that.

If someone is strictly passive toward me then, as I tend to take the word, they cannot be submitting to me, because to submit is an action (internal or external) and passivity is an opposite of activity.

The best alignment of the words I can find has it that submission can be active or inactive, but never passive, since submission (submission to me, let's say) always involves the intention and effort (internal act) of subjugating your will to mine.

Now I wouldn't invest too much in these distinctions. In various contexts I might use the words in somewhat different ways than outlined here. Still, pausing to look closely at the conventional uses of these two words leaves me noticing more the differences betwen them than the similarities.

Make sense to anyone else?


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 9:25:10 AM   
Phoenixandnika


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~laughs~Phoenix and I were talking about earlier today. I submit to his will, but I am far from passive. He is dominant over me, but far from agressive. I don't think they have to go hand in hand, simply because Websters says so.   Chauvinist, Don't flatter yourself, not everyone that looks for profiles in posters is looking to bombard them with e-mails regarding posts they have made. MOST people will call you on the boards for something you say on the boards. Although I do agree there are ALOT of reasons people choose to have or not have public profiles-- hidding isn't always the reason they choose not to. Blessed Be, Nika 

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 9:30:25 AM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

Hell, now I'm confused.  Toss me the dictionary. LOL!  Seriously tho, passive-aggressiveness is not a good way to deal with things.  Don't hide.  As mentioned by the OP - Come out and play.
 
If I'm being passive-aggressive I expect someone to bop me on the head and tell me to get it right.



Passive-aggressive or Submissive-aggressive?

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 12:33:28 PM   
Dragynsfury


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Noah, Dominants are not above having someone come up to them and say "come back down to earth." Provided they are in the wrong.  And I was being funny.  To Chauvanist...I don't care bout your not having a profile.  But at least have the guts to understand where I'm coming from before you direct something to me.  Your bop will land you a slap in the face.

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 12:49:37 PM   
Celeste43


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Only in the most general of definitions can submissive be assumed to equal passive. If we postulate that the dominant initiates the action, then we are passively following his direction. Of course, there are a lot of us who don't passively follow directions. "You sure you want two heaping tablespoons of sliced jalapenos on that sandwich? Remember the pangs of agony that you suffered last time you did something that stupid?"

He came in and asked for lunch, he did not give a lunch order or stand over me watching to see if there was enough mayo or too much lettuce. I looked through the fridge, found some roast beef and proceded to make him a sandwich without any direction. On other days I have initiated soup and biscuits, or pasta primavera. But he did initiate the action of lunching.

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 2:06:41 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

yes it is, when you look up "submissive" in the thesaurus, one of the options it gives you is "passive"....the problem is that this lifestyle, by definition, does not use defintions given by the currently published dictionaries to define all the words we use...



I agree as I consider that 'I' help to write the meanings, I push the envelope.



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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 2:10:10 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

Hell, now I'm confused.  Toss me the dictionary. LOL!  Seriously tho, passive-aggressiveness is not a good way to deal with things.  Don't hide.  As mentioned by the OP - Come out and play.
 
If I'm being passive-aggressive I expect someone to bop me on the head and tell me to get it right.



Passive-aggressive or Submissive-aggressive?


Dear Noah; exactly. Without a profile how the heck do I know?
The Chauvinist could be a pig swinging from a chandelier, and  prbably is, for all I know.


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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 5:35:40 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

Hell, now I'm confused.  Toss me the dictionary. LOL!  Seriously tho, passive-aggressiveness is not a good way to deal with things.  Don't hide.  As mentioned by the OP - Come out and play.
 
If I'm being passive-aggressive I expect someone to bop me on the head and tell me to get it right.



Passive-aggressive or Submissive-aggressive?


Dear Noah; exactly. Without a profile how the heck do I know?
The Chauvinist could be a pig swinging from a chandelier, and  prbably is, for all I know.




I'm content not to know what Dragnsfurry and you are going on about. I was just having a little fun with the words.

< Message edited by Noah -- 10/28/2007 5:40:34 PM >

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 7:02:10 PM   
catize


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quote:

 My personal take on the words, in reference to the behavior of partners in d/s relationships, see the words "passive" and "submissive" as being at odds rather than being synonyms.  


How true.  We often refer to a D/s relationship as a dynamic which implies it is interactive. 
An expected activity, call it a rule, may have been degreed an hour, a year, a decade ago.  The dominant does not need to reiterate said rule because he or she continues to hold the authority.  The submissive does not need to be reminded because he or she continues to submit to the dominant..
In many instances what may be observed as passivity from the outside is, in reality, two or more people working comfortably within the parameters of the bond based on power exchange.    


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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 7:28:23 PM   
TNstepsout


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Well I don't care what the dictionary says. In terms of D/s I don't think they are the same thing. Someone call Webster and tell him I said so.

One can passively accept ones circumstance, but a submissive surrenders to his/her circumstance. The difference to me is that a passive person merely tolerates being subordinate to another person or may just generally have such a passive personality that they automatically submit to others, but there is less choice involved.

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 7:41:32 PM   
maclough


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Hmmn submissive equals passive... that is very interesting.  I don't agree, but hey that's just me.  If I am making a choose to do what I am told without questioning... I still "actively" made the choice.  So, nahh can't say I agree.  Especially since the definition in the way it seems to be used would be "lacking in energy or will"... so if you want to say that submission is passive ok great a sub with no will hmmn 

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/28/2007 10:40:06 PM   
slave4urneeds


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I did not see the post you are referring to so I will simply reply to your OP.

I can passively submit to my Master, and I can actively submit to my Master.  I am required to do both.

Passive submission:  When he tells me to do ABC and I do ABC.  Or when he wants me to remain in a certian position while he does XYZ to me (it's an alphabetical day).

Active submission:  When I actively go out of my way to do things he will like - offering to run errands and then running them, or to massage him, or recently I went TV shopping for him and gave him a comprehensive comparative list of all the models that fit into the parameters he was looking for in a plasma TV, along with where they were sold and their list prices.

I have heard it said that "Submitting is easy - you just lay there and take what's given to you."  This is a rather ignorant view in my opinion.  Then again, that may be all that some require of their submissives, in which case it is a very accurate view.  It does not define my own slavery, however.


i have to agree with ownedgirlie here.  Most of us are constantly stating over and over again, i am not a doormat nor do i want to be percieved as one.  Yes there are times that we will all be required to act passively, but one does not make the other. 

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/29/2007 1:42:38 AM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Well I don't care what the dictionary says. In terms of D/s I don't think they are the same thing. Someone call Webster and tell him I said so.

One can passively accept ones circumstance, but a submissive surrenders to his/her circumstance. The difference to me is that a passive person merely tolerates being subordinate to another person or may just generally have such a passive personality that they automatically submit to others, but there is less choice involved.


Probably going to have to hold a seance to do that...he died in the mid 1800's...but hey it's almost Halloween....a seance would be fun..although we can probably think of someone better to bring back...like maybe the Marquis de Sade? 

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/29/2007 6:14:46 AM   
chellekitty


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can we bring back some one funny instead....i am needing hysterical laughter induced endorphins right now instead of pain induced ones....

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/29/2007 6:16:07 AM   
laurell3


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I'd like to talk to walt disney...not sure he's funny as much as brilliant and entertaining.  What's wrong chelle?

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/29/2007 6:17:45 AM   
chellekitty


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email me a messenger ID on the otherside? i can't send out emails thru CM.....

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Passive synonym for submissive - 10/29/2007 6:25:28 AM   
laurell3


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sent

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 57
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