Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Doms speaking bad about others


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Doms speaking bad about others Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Doms speaking bad about others - 10/26/2007 10:48:23 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Just a rant i have to let go:
    i have been talking with a Dom for a couple months now and he knows very little of what my current Dom and i do, which i feel is no one's business unless of course i decide to post on here. Why do Dom's feel like they know what is best for the sub/slave if they don't know their Dom? i had an interesting conversation earlier about that where he said that my Dom sends up red flags all over the place. Excuse me, but i will choose when i want his help, and he's helping me out of concern, even if i don't take his offerings. My Dom has helped me with grocery shopping, misc. buying such as laundry soap, dishwater soap, etc. He raises no red flags with me in anyway, we've been together for 8 1/2 months now and he's always been faithful to me and vice versa. i don't the one Dom from earlier to tell me why i should not be with my current Dom.
  Thanks for letting me vent
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/26/2007 10:54:54 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Ja, it is a bitch, toss your cell phone in the toilet and dont have quite so many meaningful conversations with the world at large..........get a handle on what you can do.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/26/2007 11:13:55 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Threads like this just make me want to take a shower.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 5:36:00 AM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		So why are you "talking" with another Dom when you already HAVE a Dom?

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 5:42:13 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

So why are you "talking" with another Dom when you already HAVE a Dom?

My question, exactly, InkedMaster.  If this other dom bothers the OP so much, why the hell doesn't she quit speaking with him?  Been with one dom for 8.5 months and are so happy?  Stop talking about it with the other guy and you won't have to worry what his comments are.  Geesh, not hard to figure out..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to InkedMaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 5:55:00 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Stupid question......so why, if you have a dominant, are you busy chatting it up with another one, especially one who is so blatantly disrespectful of your master's property?  And in the interest of transparency, does your dom know you're chatting it up with this dimwit?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:07:51 AM   
TheChauvinist


Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline 		Just because one is in a relationship does not mean all contact with the opposite orientation should stop. I think this second "Dom" is posing as a friend in order to try to pull tactics such as he is. I.E. pointing out "flaws" in her mate and trying to split her off from him for himself. Such underhandedness is a pime indicator of the persons character that he is most likely hiding.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:08:23 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		You decided to share whats going on in your relationship with other Dom.  Men tend to want to fix things, instead of listen.  If the other Dom is experienced and a friend warning you for your own good, take heed.  We all can think back when our parents warned us of  things that we blew off only to find out that they were right.

Your other option is to cut ties if you don't like what he's saying...the choice is yours. 


(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:11:05 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

My Dom has helped me with grocery shopping, misc. buying such as laundry soap, dishwater soap, etc.


I could dig that sort of dynamic.  As long as he buys a lot of food and it's all the name brand stuff.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:32:25 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		        If you are happy in your relationship, why bother defending it to someone who obviously is not going to agree with you anyway.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:53:08 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		rofl.. Aside from the obvious questions already stated about why are you chatting with someone else... etc...I'd have to say that in my experience, this whole process must be a "guy thing' (lol...how's that for generalizing?)

I have a friend - the father of my son's friends.. (vanilla) All the boys are involved in the same activities at school so we are at a lot of functions - no avoiding it. Besides, we are friends and pick up the slack for each other (I give his family rides home, he does the same for me) He does this all the time - making side comments about my Master (my "boyfriend" to him). I just laugh and tell him to mind his own business. When he doesn't stop, I tell him to not disrespect his elders (both my Master and me are older than he is).

In short, the bottom line is how you approach what is told to you. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel you need to defend your Master. Next time you get the "red flag" conversation and comments, just laugh and say something funny that still points out what that dominant is doing. (My line would be "yea.. you call it a red flag cause you only wish...") And then, change the subject or stop talking. The next time, before the conversation even begins, state your boundaries very clearly - we can talk right up till you want to insult my Master or our relationship.

And don't sweat the small stuff.

However, since this person is a dominant, I'd make sure your dominant is aware of what's being said - but then, I'm a great believer in never creating situations where my Master could be hit broadside by a comment that he's unaware of.

Or you could just stop talking to that person entirely.

juliet

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 6:55:31 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


Or you could just stop talking to that person entirely.


That would be too easy.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 7:06:02 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Let me point out the obvious.....this guy is wrong for criticising your dom...so you come here and criticise him to the public?  How does that logic make sense?

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 7:42:55 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He's trying to put a wedge between you so he can get you for himself. Tell him now this impolite behavior must stop because it is ruining your friendship. If it doesn't, then we must conclude he isn't interested in being friends, but just in getting into your pants.

Personally I'm not allowed to talk privately with other doms, because it is so rare that they are interested in pure friendship. Forum flirtations and nonsexual emails are permitted. Once they cross the line, I don't talk to them again.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 7:44:19 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		people use these boards as a way to vent to do self thinking. god get beyond the box people. I know why she posted  We take tihngs in this two d type relm to much to heart.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 9:21:38 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, didn't think i'd get so much negativity from this post. We have stopped talking, and my current Dom wants me to go out with friends. What am i supposed to do? Just stay at home while my friends work during the day, then i go to my night shift and work all night? i have a very trusting and open communication with my Dom and he trusts me to make the right decisions. Posting on these threads and just wanting to get something out in the open just because one person feels like it is apprantely not the way to go. People have questions, people have vents. i'm actually talking to other Doms on here and we have a great relationship, friendship wise, and they have never pushed or criticized or anything else. This one person only knows that i do have someone at the moment but that is all. Everything else we talk about is purely vanilla and about .5% bdsm. Oh well, this is gonna get more negativity if i write anymore.

< Message edited by grlneedstolearn -- 10/27/2007 9:28:51 AM >

(in reply to InkedMaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 9:22:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The same reason they say if you aren't in a relationship that you aren't really a sub or that you don't know what you are doing- they want a reaction from you and they want to shame you so that you feel you need to prove something to them.

Once they have that, well then you're in the web.  You've shown a major insecurity point which they can easily exploit and you're willing to spend time talking about it so they get to know you more AND keep you on the line vs other doms.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 9:25:48 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Do you really want to be friends with someone that makes you feel like he is undermining what you and your dom have? Just cuz you want to be friends doesn't mean you should be friends with this guy.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 9:29:47 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Nope, which is why i don't talk to him

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms speaking bad about others - 10/27/2007 9:29:50 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think you need to learn some discernment.  Not everyone proclaiming to be your friend is.  Why are you allowing a stranger to have this sort of impact on your relationship?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Doms speaking bad about others Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078