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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/25/2007 11:26:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Hey Girl!

Well we Californians have to chat that way sometimes... totally radical!



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/25/2007 11:31:19 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Julia - it's great to see you back.  You've been missed. 


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- Albert Einstein

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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 12:10:07 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i came out to my mom when i went to MT to visit. At first she was speechless for at least 10-15 min. Then she basically told me to be careful but to have fun . i bruise as well but usually heals up in record time :D

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 12:17:13 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Hey Girl!

Well we Californians have to chat that way sometimes... totally radical!




Fer Shure, dudette!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 12:23:53 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		I try to imagine my mother-in-law's reaction if we came out of the closet and I laugh way to hard over it. I think that my sister would react with couriosity and my father would be a bit jealous especially if I told him the part about the open marriage.

Oh well, in the closet I stay at least with the family. I had given some thought to showing up to my ten year class reunion with a flogger over one shoulder and a riding crop in my hand, but they didnt invite me... guess they liked me about as much as I liked them...

BTW welcome back Julia not sure if we ever had the pleasure of conversing on the forums, but I remember some insiteful posts from you, now if we can drag MasterFireMaam back to the board...

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 12:34:52 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Wow.. weird. I was just thinking about you and Synergy yesterday and now here you are in the.. well, flesh so to speak. ::giggles::  Obviously, I was missing on you guys. Welcome back!

As far as coming out, it's always a risk. The risk of losing friends and family (so much worse than ever losing a job IMO) and I did lose some friends when I came out, but fair weather friends aren't a requirement, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. My mother didn't talk to me for an entire month, then she just ignored the whole thing and that's okay, too, but my dad really blew me away by calling me a prude because I wouldn't send him a copy of the documentary about figging or needle play. He's a hoot and I've never regretted choosing to come out, be out and be me for the world to see.. well, except for dad who just doesn't need to see my naked butt. ::laughs::

~huggles~ Are ya staying for a while now??

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 12:56:20 AM   
cabernet


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/10/2004
Status: offline 		Both of my parents are gone, so I don't have to worry about what they would say.  Knowing them I'm sure they would have had a hard time with it at first (especially my dad), but as long as I was happy, and not "abused" they would come to accept it.  Especially my mom, her brother and sister were both gay so she was pretty accepting of alternative lifestyles.

But like Julia was saying, my sister would be the harder one to tell.  She's open-minded, but to a point.  Christian (Presbyterian), but not a fanatic.  Her husband is very conventional and would probably think I'd lost my marbles, but my sister could go either way.  So far I haven't had anyone serious enough to meet the family anyway.  But I think I would want to introduce Him first and let them get to know him and let them figure out that he met their idea of "normal" before I said anything, if I decided to anyway.  And then if I did I would probably take my sister out for a couple of margaritas and then tell her about it, leaving out a lot of the more kinky details.  Then I could let her decide on whether she wanted to tell my brother-in-law or not.  But I think if I told them before they met a partner, then they would always judge him knowing that first and not get to know HIM.  If that makes sense.

I did tell one vanilla friend that I've had for over 20 years about my interests (after both of us had a few margaritas!)  She thought it was cool as long as everything was consentual and I wasn't getting "harmed".  Then she ended up dropping a bomb on me that had me more shocked than I had her.  So you never know!

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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 1:05:01 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Yes different people reat differently.
Most friends I tell, when it comes up in conversation about their sexuality, are usually shicked that i am what they call a social 'diva' you know extrovert, pushy and powerful yet I am sexally submissive and often bruised....try to keep in places where it doesn't show but where it goes is not my 'choice'...the main thing is they are surprised that I am submissive when I explainthe dynamics.

Well done you. It's a great feeling being out of any closet.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 3:22:52 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

why did you have to come out and tell them you enjoy pain? i can see the gay part but the pain. i know i made the mistake of telling some close and they have treated me different ever seen so wow, and yes your sister will be shocked for sometime so get ready to be stared at and she may have questions. please do not be hurt when and she will do this say she wants to hear nothing about it not one thing good luck

mons

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 3:31:51 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm a bit lost, why does anyone need to tell family and friends about their sexuality? I've never chatted with my Mum and Dad or other rellies to tell them I have sex with guys, why would I need to tell them that I'm a Domme? It's just never come up in conversation. Then again, I'm not in a position where I have bruises to explain away, either. Carry on

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 4:36:54 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with LA. Let your sister process it in her own way. She might not come around to your way of thinking but at least she is not in the dark about it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 4:54:45 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		i agree with MissMagnolia here.
 
my sister and i are very close but even she did not know about my sex life until this summer when she actually asked while we were in the middle of a "heart-to-heart". Once she found out, she asked that we never discuss details - i am cool with that. i don't want to know what she and her husband do in bed either. Ofcourse i am not a massochist nor do i play  with sadists intent on marking me at this point in my life. So, if i have a big bruise, you can bet there is an honest adventure story to it!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 5:45:27 AM   
brattysarahjane


Posts: 36
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		you are brave.  i could never come out to my mom.  i've come out to my sisters, and found that two of them are already into lifestyle, one identifies as a bottom and the other as a slave.  i could never come out to my mom though; she would freak. 

bratty sarah jane

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:19:14 AM   
Phoenix2raven


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline 		Once again you are very brave! Just outing myself to a friend was hard enough I cant imagine what my Father would say. He would probably have me committed. 

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If you're a Dominate, are you looking for a sublimate?

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:24:55 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		my dad would freak out.  {like totally,ya know?} but although my mom maybe alittle weirded out by it, I think she would get used to it, and even understand.  (I don't know why but I suspect that is slightly masochistic.) one brother probably be wierded out,(he got wierded out when he found out I was pagan.  He is an athiest.) My other brother (Daryl, and my other brother Daryl.heh.) would probably be amused.  He was when I told him I was a pagan, and we often have philosophical discussions. he is a Fundamentalist Christian.  The rest of my family,(with exeption of a few cousins.) mostlikely would not understand, and they don't know about my religious beliefs, though I think a few suspect.

Welcome back julia! Glad to hear that it went (fairly.) well when you came out.

< Message edited by LadyLynx -- 10/26/2007 6:27:05 AM >

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:29:59 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I just thought it was important that before I got serious with anyone that I tell my family about my masochistic side because if something happened to me, and i had fresh bruises I did not want the man I love to be accused of a crime. I thought it better to head that off before I get that deeply involved with someone again.


Pretty smart, but I'm not sure that would work for everyone. I can imagine kinksters with fundamentalist family members who might look for bruises and do exactly what you're trying to prevent in order to "protect you from yourself". Not suggesting that could happen to you, but others might want to be consider that possibility before adopting your strategy.

Like others, it's nice to see you're back . . . and even better to see your front!


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"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:36:29 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome back,  Juliaoceania, it's been toooo long!

I can't begin to imagine telling my family but ya gotta know them to understand that ~heh~ 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:38:30 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Julia, WELCOME BACK!....and i understand where you are at...i came out to my family and  was scared to death!...NONE of my family understand this, and most of them have never understood me  LOL...my 3 kids...(all in their twenties) know...my sister (i only have the one sibling) knows, and my mom knows...(i dont speak to my father and grandparents are not living).... so everyone that matters to me knows...they will hopefully get used to it ...my family did over time.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 6:43:27 AM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		it is great to see you back.....believe me when i say...you were missed!!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Out Of The Closet - 10/26/2007 9:01:47 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied



Julia - it's great to see you back.  You've been missed. 



I am rather touched by all the expressions of that on here... who knew a bunch of kinky pervs could be so maudlin?...weg... I have really missed all of you guys...

When I blog elsewhere I can't talk about how I like my hair pulled and to be beaten until bruises appear... for some reason most people would rather not read that stuff elsewhere....laughing

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 40
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