Should a sub be held accountable for what they do or say while in sub space?

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Should a sub be held accountable for what they do or sa... - 10/21/2007 12:16:38 PM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
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Last night I had a dream which prompted me to post this question.

I was with my Master(obviously a dream, since I don't have one. LOL) and we were at a swingers' party. Most of the members knew of our life style and were accepting of us, to a degree, but generally did not understand WIITWD.

We had been in a private room playing and during the course of play, he ejaculated on my face. We did not have any type of sex other than him getting off and the play was relatively quiet.

When we came downstairs, I was still deep in sub space and he was going to bring me down in the hot tub. I had already been cleaned from his orgasm.

The reaction we got from others at the party was mostly amazement because I appeared totally stoned. They knew we were not into drugs and that we had not had sex because of the lack of noise.

Someone said to me, You have a glazed look on your face, to which I replied, "Master spread his love on my face."

Yes, this is a sex club, but people usually do not announce what they had done in a private room and it was not taken well by anyone, including Master.

So, my question is, should a sub be held accountable for what they do or say while in sub space?

jen

_____________________________

"Men are like pianos. When they get upright, i feel GRAND!!!"

http://charldine.com/jen2820

Post #: 1

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 12:21:14 PM

SteelofUtah

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From: St George Utah
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In Dreams No.

In Real Life, Depends.

I'd have to address the situation as it applies.

Dreams and Real Life have different rules and truth be told I personally would never move a slave in sub space untill they were coherent enough to piece together full sentences and more over than that NEVER take a sub down stairs while in a Sub Drop. That is asking for a fall.

To me this is not an acceptable situation as I don't scene in swingers clubs cause I don't want to subject anyone to something they have not consented to be a part of.

Just me.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 12:32:53 PM

justheather

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Im not even sure what you mean by "held accountable for".

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I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

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RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 2:25:28 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Should a man be held accountable for what they say or do when they are drunk?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 4

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 3:14:43 PM

LATEXBABY64

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well that was a easy response lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 3:16:57 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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isn't accountability one of the foundations of a Master/slave Dom/sub Top/bottom dynamic?

I think it is I know not everyone does but I do.

As Always

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 6

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 3:27:18 PM

PairOfDimes

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Joined: 7/20/2006
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In dreams, obviously, people say and do ridiculous, sometimes physically impossible things--so, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

While playing, I don't think you need to have the same sorts of filters you have while socializing, so you can say more foolish things. (This goes for both dominants and submissives, by the way, and this likely has something to do with why dirty talk doesn't sound nearly as sexy when considered after the scene or sex.) However, if you're at a party, and you've just played and are spacey, when you return to socializing, you should have your filters of good manners and social propriety back up. Fortunately, most of my current playmates are really good at identifying whether they're sufficiently lucid to socialize. When I play with someone who isn't very good at that, I test things out by re-introducing them to the social world through a person or a few people whom I count as friends, and know to be tolerant, patient souls. If an indiscreet remark happens, then it's easier to smooth over with friends than it would be with an entirely new acquaintance.

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 3:27:54 PM

Raechard

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From: S.E. London U.K.
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This reminds me of a case I heard about recently. Someone stabbed their wife to death while asleep because it was a case of sleepkilling which is similar to sleepwalking but without the walking part. He got a total discharge due to a temporary insanity plea. I thought to myself that that was a pretty convenient defence and so hard to prove but the law obviously fell for it.

I don’t think the law recognises subspace but then some of us don’t either.

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えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 8

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 3:35:05 PM

chellekitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Should a man be held accountable for what they say or do when they are drunk?

subspace is an altered state of mind...just like being drunk or on drugs....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 4:36:14 PM

CollegeConundrum

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I think you should be more concerned about the fact that your dreams have such harsh and demanding conditions.

On the other hand, this is a pretty sticky situation (Get it??) I don't think the cause is the point of contention and not even the "act" but the reaction from the people. Does it really matter if she was otherwise drunk or high, saying what she said did not create some terribly malicious situation

If the other people had a problem with it, thats their problem. It was a swingers club, they were all awate of her "situation" and seemed fine with it. And if the guy has a problem with it, fuck him, he'd have to be a real asshole to put you down for that.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 10

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 4:54:24 PM

chellekitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

I think you should be more concerned about the fact that your dreams have such harsh and demanding conditions.

shit...now we have to control our dreams too?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)

Post #: 11

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 4:57:05 PM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

I think you should be more concerned about the fact that your dreams have such harsh and demanding conditions.

I totally understamd WHY I had this dream. I dream and /or fantasize about this particular "Dom" on a regular basis. As others have said, it is the Dominant's responsibility to make sure the sub is in the appropriate state of mind to be socializing with others. Even though I have feelings for this man, I know deep down that he would never take on that kind of responsibility. He has made it abundantly clear, by his actions, or lack there of, that he is NOT reliable and I cannot count on him.

Why did I have this dream last night? He called me yesterday and said we would get together next week. Yeah, right. I have heard that over and over. This was my unconscious reminder to not hold my breath.

jen

_____________________________

"Men are like pianos. When they get upright, i feel GRAND!!!"

http://charldine.com/jen2820

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)

Post #: 12

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 5:30:06 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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In a past D/s relationship, one of the rules he had was that if he asked me a ‘yes or no’ question I was not allowed to say ‘uh-huh’ or ‘uh-uh’. One evening we were involved in pain play and I was deep in sub-space. He checked in with me and asked if I was doing okay. I dreamily answered, “uh-huh”. A not-so-fun slap to my face was the result and I knew what my error had been. He asked again and I said ‘yes, I’m fine’.
The lesson I learned was that a clearly defined rule is to be followed at all times. I was held accountable for my behavior and I accepted that.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 5:59:48 PM

CollegeConundrum

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Joined: 5/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
shit...now we have to control our dreams too?

I think this IS a case of controlling her dreams.

In the dream, the guy shouldn't be ashamed, she said it; he should be offering to do it again in front of everyone!

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 14

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:02:29 PM

CuriousLord

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

So, my question is, should a sub be held accountable for what they do or say while in sub space?

In D/s, it depends on the dynamic agreed upon by the involved parties.

In M/s, the slave is the property, and therefore the responsbility, of the Master/Mistress.

---

PS- Something I just have to ask. Why in the world were they mad? I get that not everyone wants to hear about another's sex life, but, com'n.. I find what you said to be pretty funny. I'd have laughed and said something to the effecft of, "Good for you."

It strikes me as odd anyone cared, besides, well.. okay, I can understand if your Master was embarrased.

To answer your question better than I did in the vague opening reply.. you're responsible for the things your Master has ordered you to do and the guidelines he's laid out for you. As long as you followed those, you're good. If you deviated from them, then you could be faulted. He controls you- what you do is, largely, what he dictates, and he puts you in situations as he sees fit. What you do, so long as it's in an earnest attempt to follow his orders to the best of your abilities, is not your fault.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 10/21/2007 6:12:00 PM >

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 15

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:28:39 PM

onesweetsubbie

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/9/2007
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I am going to try to make this coherent as possible...

I have been in subspace and asked for things that I have set as a hard limit or said yes to situations I would never normally agree. Should I be held to those agreements? When I am in subspace, I don't know what is up, down, left, right or sideways. I think what is said should be discussed later, but being held accountable and followed through isn't a good idea.

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:29:46 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Usually I am non verbal in sub space. So if coming out of it I might say some things ,so the person I have been with at the time has always spoken up for me. That solves the issue of me maybe putting my foot in my mouth when I may not make much sense.

People remember the spoken word so when it is said it is out there and responsibility has to be taken by someone. So i just smile and move on.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:42:36 PM

sammiebabygirl

Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
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Thanks for the PS, CuriousLord. It was a funny remark and I seriously doubt anyone would have taken it any other way. It is actually something I might just say. LOL

But, let's please remember this was a dream and not real. Like I already posted, I know the reason for the dream.

It just made me think of what possible consequences could occur if a sub did or said something they shouldn't while in sub space.

jen

_____________________________

"Men are like pianos. When they get upright, i feel GRAND!!!"

http://charldine.com/jen2820

(in reply to onesweetsubbie)

Post #: 18

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:47:07 PM

ownedgirlie

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Master will often talk to me and ask me questions when I am out there floating to wherever it is I go. He loves the things I say/mumble/scribble/sing during that time. He calls it my "truth syrum" because I'll freely and joyfully reveal what's in the depth of my mind and heart. The truest of my truths is shared during those times, and any emotion I feel is generally enhanced greatly.

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)

Post #: 19

RE: Should a sub be held accountable for what they do o... - 10/21/2007 6:49:21 PM

plushiecat

Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
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CuriousLord writes:
>In D/s, it depends on the dynamic agreed upon by the involved parties.
>>In M/s, the slave is the property, and therefore the responsbility, of the Master/Mistress.

Dunno if anyone else has said similar, but, I got news for ya. In an m/s relationship the 'slave' is still quite responsible legally.

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 20

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