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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/19/2007 3:03:37 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

They let fear and ignorance control their choices. Happens all the time.

And I KNOW you know better when it comes to subject titles.

Yes, Maam... never again!

LOL
b

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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/19/2007 3:29:08 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dari

Particular to this site, your profiile choices when moving toward the negative side go from "Dislikes" to "Hard Limit." I don't see "Negotiable Limit" as an option, so if given the choice of "Dislikes" and "Hard Limit" for something like Knife Play, which when done improperly risks disfigurement or death - I'll choose "Hard Limit" over "Dislikes," and mention that it's up for negotiation after I get to know someone.

Anything that is 'negotiable', to me, isn't necessarily negative. On the positive side of the list, it goes from "Live for it" to "Tolerate it". Since there is no "Negotiable" on the list, i use "Curious", which, to me, means that i haven't tried it but, i'm open to exploring it. i am a curious person, any way. i am particularly curious about my fears so, i am apprehensive but, open to exploring them with someone i know is trustworthy and capable of handling me in a fearful situation.

For instance, i am afraid of knives and fire and electricity and drowning and spiders and snakes but, i know my Master very well and trust Him to take me through experiencing those fears, safely. He is what i call a 'watchful sadist' and, i know that He will only take me as far as He knows is safe for me to go and He will keep a very keen eye on my reactions and adjust the situation, accordingly. He has helped me to lessen my fears of some things, because He has used them on me and i was unharmed by them. One day, i hope that He will have me naked, tied and, blindfolded and put spiders on me, so that i can lessen that fear.

Until i came to this site, i never even considered limits. But, since i have never had any interest in doing 'scenes', i haven't had any real reason to think about them, just like i have never had any interest in having a safeword. The only people i have ever engaged in BDSM activities with have been the Dominants that i have had intimate relationships with and i knew them well enough to know that they would not damage me. Even though i knew that they would hurt me, which i like, i had no concerns about being scarred, either physically, mentally or, emotionally. Thoughts of limits and safewords have never had any purpose for me, in my relationships. i am at the mercy of my Master, which is exactly where i want to be. That feeling of total helplessness and complete dependency on Him and His willingness to keep me safe is the greatest turn-on for me.

This is just my perspective and it isn't to say that others should do as i do. Everyone has to know their own individual comfort zone and stay true to what their own conscience, heart and, gut tells them is right for them, in any particular situation and with any particular person(s).

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/19/2007 10:29:38 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear MsBearlee, Ladies and Gentlemen,

For me, the problem is not so much the tools/toys, it is the person who uses them and not so much the person who feels them.

I was a 'station' in a explore gathering for new individuals, where I handled canes, floggers and single tails. It was so sad to see more submissives/slaves have fear of a tool because of poor skills and or lack of the knowledge of what these tools/toys can do and how little/much effort it took to go from pleasure to pain beyond tolerances.

In many cases where submissive/slaves were in full trauma over canes, crops and whips--I let them hold the item and use it on themselves. It is amazing how they understand what they had in their hand, the techniques and such was the key. It was learning and it was understanding where things relate in everything.

That said--there will be personal preferences indeed. I will further say, that the type of tool/toy matters. So many novices had cheap floggers with dead leather and no wonder their sub/slave were in agony! Having them use my quality flogger the face expressions by both are priceless. For those who do not know what dead leather is--it is cracked, stiff and hard leather which rolling in a loop the leather will crack or start crazing in a start of cracking. No amount of leather dressing will soften it--it is time to trash it. This stiff leather, rough edges and cracked pieces are what causes blood, blood blisters and nasty bruises. Nobody has to hit a bit hard with them to do damage.

Canes. Raw canes, like ratan that have no sealing on them, at times gets little spurs to them--much like hang nails. This can cause scrapes and scratches. As a Dominant handles a cane, it can rotate so the source of these scratches/scrapes can look intermitten. If you cannot have an old pair of lady's nylon/silk stocking graze over the entire lenth of the cane without snags/pulls and or runs--it is time to sand the cane--especially raw. I find taking a fingernail emory sponge block, which usually are found in nail salons (manicure/pedicure); it wraps around the cane shaft and the fine grit size will trim off those snags nicely. The knees (the circle joint on ratan and or bamboo canes can have snags--just buff with the light grit until they are smooth. The knees are growth rings and for bamboo the shaft tapers slightly and for some ratan--they also taper. These nail file blocks (sponge with sides of grit) are great for sanding wood dowels from hardware stores and then layer polyurethane to give it a seal. I prefer water based, as some folks have sensitive skin.

With single tails, the scratches/marks come from the cracker/popper's knots in the braid or the use of hard crackers/poppers. Some folks lean in when single tailing which adds approximately 2-3 inches length to the targeted area. I find anybody new with floggers and single tails lean in until they are more comfortable and skills more solid. Single tails like a girl's pigtail braid will stretch out with energy from the send. It stretches and returns to a relax state when it returns back from the send to the target/hitting target. I show this stretch in single tails to Dominants as to inform them of this trait.

For me, TOPPING another person is not about making them miserable. The whip/cane should not be past uncomfortable when new. This is suppose to be a gentle and at the pace/speed of tolerance of the submissive/slave. This is not a competition and this is not about showing off or being challenged by those in the peanut gallery to put their sub/slave into painful experiences to please the audience. Unfortunately, there is a disease out there which spreads and that is trying to 'out shine/out do' another they see and try to copy cat without learning or even asking help by the one who inspires them--as to do it right, do it well, do it accurately and not at the expense of hurting their sub/slave/bottom.

Personally--I get as much out of a happy slave/submissive who cannot be touched by a whip for whatever reason--who serves me in a way that still feeds my mastery, just as much as I am served by someone who is crazy in a happy way over whips, quirts, canes, single tails, floggers and nore. It is the quality of submission--not the quantity of suffering in the name of submission that makes me happy.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/20/2007 4:29:11 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

Me too, lizzie...

I've watched/felt a whipthrower use a singletail in such a way that it barely kisses skin and leaves no mark at all. I've watched/felt people use canes to go tap-tap-tap; ever so lightly upon a body...and never leave a stripe. Knives do not have to draw blood, and hand-spanking sometimes leaves deep bruises that last days and days.

I do not understand statements like this: '...the impact is a little more than i can honestly take" with regard to an impliment.

I say know your partner! ...everything else is all relative.

Perhaps a thread like this will help people consider such things...and realize bad porn and much online crap is just there for the entertainment (wank-appeal).

B

i watched a single-tail demo where the whipthrower explained that the intensity can also be controlled by the material used for the 'cracker' on the end of the whip. You can even use thing fuzzy yarn and it can make lots of noise with very light impact on the skin. Attending demonstrations is really a good thing!

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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/20/2007 6:21:18 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

i watched a single-tail demo where the whipthrower explained that the intensity can also be controlled by the material used for the 'cracker' on the end of the whip. You can even use thing fuzzy yarn and it can make lots of noise with very light impact on the skin. Attending demonstrations is really a good thing!

Hmm, ok,ok. I MIGHT conceed my hatred for the single-tail IF the cracker was made of bunny fur.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/20/2007 6:22:23 AM >

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RE: So as not to hijack another thread... - 10/20/2007 6:48:33 AM

ELUSIVE1

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Joined: 9/11/2005
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I LOVE whips--but I will admit to being afraid of them until I tried them with a trusted experienced partner--chains on the other hand, well being bound by chains,again with a trusted partner, is fine, I have been flogged with a flogger that had tiny chains in it, and I really didn't like that at all, hard limit for sure...knife play...mmm, love it,but then I like to be scared....again,just people forming opinions without experience

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