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LadyHibiscus
I think that these days bottom players tend to get sneered at as merely "players" and somehow not sincere because they don't want some kind of TPE situation.  Frankly, I MISS bottom players!

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ORIGINAL: MsubseeksDomme

I think the reason that I may be giving mixed messages in my profile is because this is all very new to me.  So i am trying to convey all the thoughts and ideas that i have had to this point.  To be completel;y honest, i am not sure of the difference between bottom, sub, slave etc.  This is where  am looking for guidance at this point i think.  i probably have not been havcing much success here since i don't know what role i fall into, and it will take time to discover that.  perhaps there is another site that is more suited for someone like myself who is in discovery phase.  It seems most here are fairly experienced or knowledgeable of their desires, roles, place etc.

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ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think that these days bottom players tend to get sneered at as merely "players" and somehow not sincere because they don't want some kind of TPE situation. Frankly, I MISS bottom players! I wish that folks in the scene who just want to play for the fun of it, for the endorphin rush, for whatever reason, would be up front about it, and not feel pressured into asking for something they don't want to give.

I don't want to venture into the dreaded Semantic Zone, but yes, it's okay to not be a submissive!

I completely agree with this.

Be honest about what you want -- that is the only way to even have a shot at it.

But the venue you pursue your desires in does matter.

If you are into bondage, if that's your main thing, join bondage club no the masters and slave group. If you are hot on SM start going to dungeons or volunteer at BDSM organizations when they need a bottom to beat for a demonstration so you get seen and known as a cool reactive bottom.

Can someone even just choose "bottom" or "top" on collarme or is it just sub or dom? If it's only sub or dom this might not be the best venue then because immediately you are being forced to declare an identity that isn't really true.

While agreeing some with that which both of you are saying, I think it's good to also acknowledge that there certainly is a difference between someone comign across as looking only to bottom and someone being "do me" or a "player" of some sort.

Personally, I've zero problem with someone only a bottom and actively seeking topping.  To have such would be plainly hypocritical as that's often my own role haha, I'm much someone who is often looking just to bottom!  At time I just want a few physical itches scratched by someone willing. :)

But, those that fall more into the "do me" territory do grate and especially those that put themselves across as some form of submissive but are in reality purely bottoms.  This puts me off with an absolute quickness.

The lack of naming options here on CM can be a leader to confusion, I agree, but is not one hard to get around.  

Nothing wrong with being a bottom, just be clear in that's what you are.  When the mood strikes I love some non-PE scening with the right person(s), but don't mis-sell yourself to me.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What about submissives that really have no interest in providing service, or that don't want to be seen as a service submissive ONLY -- how do they best promote themselves? 

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This question deserves a thread all its own.