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Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:12:12 PM

KnightofMists

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I have lost count of the individuals that I have seen enter the forums, chatrooms and come to munches looking to find happiness in this lifestyle. It seems for many that the lifestyle is the answer to finding this happiness. But, is it only happiness that we pursue? Do we pursue other goals that do not root down to bringing us happiness and enjoyment? Do we maybe avoid fear and sadness as much as we may pursue happiness and contentment?

Are we only in this lifestyle to be happy? In the end... is it only about bringing our own happiness?

The Pursuit of Happiness! mmmmmmmmmm popular term... I have never heard Pursuit of Sadness! have you?

But... do we actually pursue it? We may want it... but do we always pursue it? Are there those that don't actually pursue happiness for some reason or other? It seems that there is some universal idea that we all should pursue happiness.... but is it all that universal? So many seem to pursue this lofty goal in this lifestyle.. but end with sadness and despair. Is pursuing happiness a worthy goal? Have you know anyone that doesn't pursue happiness?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

Post #: 1

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:17:55 PM

IrishMist

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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Nice post KoM

I especially liked where you said that ‘so many pursue happiness only to end up with sadness and despair” Been there, done that, not going down that road again.

I find myself now-a-days just content to let life unfold by itself. I don’t pursue happiness; I don’t pursue sadness; I just live life as in unfolds and take each single day to it’s fullest. If, at the end of the day I can claim happiness; well then good for me; if not, then that’s ok too because I have learned something new that day while wading through the sadness and despair.

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RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:24:30 PM

mischievousone

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Joined: 8/15/2007
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Many pursue happiness but happiness can be very elusive. Usually happiness finds those who stopped looking.

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RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:26:41 PM

sammy7626

Posts: 89
Joined: 8/20/2007
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I don't pursue happiness, but then, I don't pursue much (at least on the outside).

Happiness, to me, is an ideal, and like all ideals, its not a static thing. What makes a person happy one moment, might not make them happy the next.

I was lucky in that, I didn't pursue this life, it found my by accident of who I was and who my hubby was, naturally. It has made me very happy at times, and at other times, quite miserable. But ultimately it is only a facet of who I am as a whole, just like every other aspect of myself.

In general though, I find that for every 10 people who say they want to be happy, only half or less are going to have the balls to really do something drastic to actually get there. Most people are content to live in the status quo and allow life to swallow them whole.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 4

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:30:22 PM

Estring

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Happiness is a journey, not a destination. There will always be ups and downs in life. How you deal with them will determine if you are happy or not.
I also believe that being happy is a decision you make.

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Boycott Whales!

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Post #: 5

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:30:23 PM

junecleaver

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Joined: 4/6/2005
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I don't persue happiness. I persue satisfaction. Happiness is some temporary feeling, based on what happens to you. Satisfaction is something you create for yourself with your own actions.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 6

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:38:45 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I know PLENTY of people who don't pursue happiness- the ones who either settle and get along as best they can, or the ones who constantly choose drama and chaos while constantly saying they really WANT to be happy.

I pursue happiness in the sense that I create the life I find fulfilling for myself and refuse to compromise on who I am. But I don't SEEK. I don't feel like I need to go externally and grab something.

The people who come to the scene just looking for "the answers" or "happiness" are often the ones who need to take a break or who "leave the lifestyle forever" once they realize no answers will be found in that sense.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 7

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:38:59 PM

LaTigresse

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I don't pursue happiness, sadness, or any other ness. I pursue LIFE!! I love all of it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 8

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:44:19 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
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I don't pursue happiness, being happy is a choice I make. I create my own happiness, the tools to do so are always with me, they reside inside me.

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"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 9

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:47:58 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Joined: 10/1/2005
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Maybe the pursuit of happiness depends on the depth of happiness you seek?.Some can find happiness from the simple pleasure of reading a really good book ( I know I do!). Some can find happiness in the knowledge that for one more day all is well with their family. Then you have some to whom happiness is on more exultant planes ie: Finding that elusive partner. Finally getting that ever so difficult degree.The birth of a child...But we all have the knowledge that while happiness can be found it can be dashed within a moment in time.We just have to remember in either case that this too shall pass, and accept that......Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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Post #: 10

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 7:55:59 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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Wow, some really profound and insightful posts.

After surviving a lot of shit, medical and emotional, I realised that you can be happy right where you are. A lot of people think, I'll be happy when I lose weight, I'll be happy when the kids aren't so dependant, I'll be happy when I change this job, etc., etc. They're not happier after losing weight, because then they need surgery for the loose skin and that makes them unhappy. They have that done, but then little fred or joanne needs braces and they cant afford it. They get the money for the braces, but then lovely Auntie Mabel dies and they're unhappy. Then the husband is screwing another woman and then they're unhappy. In other words, life is never going to be perfect for any of us, but our perspective can make it a whole lot easier and the less sadness, the greater the chance to feel happiness.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to BeingChewsie)

Post #: 11

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 8:03:52 PM

RosesHaveThorns

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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I pursue happiness. But I pursue it by being happy with myself. To do this, I have to take care of myself, take joy in what I can, and be happy for what there is to be happy about.

I can only be happy if it comes from within, as well as without. I cannot be happy relying on my happiness in another. Others can bring me happiness, but only after I have found it inside of myself first.

My life does not need to be perfect, and I will not whine if it is not. I will also realize that I can be happy alone, through I would perfer to be with someone. But that will happen if it happens, and I will not waste time and happiness moping about it. I will take it as it presents itself, if it chooses to.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 12

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 8:09:44 PM

Hergirl0824

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Joined: 10/2/2007
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i feel that by and large society today has forgotten what happiness is. We run and take a pill to kill off any feelings that are negative in our lives, instead of dealing with the real issues we face. So we end up being numb to all feelings at all. If you do not know what pain feels like , then how can you know what joy and happiness feel like.

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 13

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 8:11:21 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
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Happiness, by definition and etymology, is based on happenstance. I pursue joy... which is a choice.

I may not always be happy - for example, I just heard someone say "he is the dominate force..." on TV and it's got me upset in a very mundane way - but I can always be joyful...

I also pursue improvement. I've been inspired to be better and more than I have been by Her... so I learn and study EVERYTHING and do my best to make sure I synthesize everything and make it my own.

YMMV.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 14

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 8:17:29 PM

TNstepsout

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Joined: 8/3/2005
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I am not here for happiness. I am here for adventure. Then again, adventure makes me happy so.....

And on another note. Pursuing happiness kind of implies that it's some elusive thing you have to search high and low for and capture and hold on to. But I don't think of happiness that way. The more balanced, content, strong, aware and pleased with myself, the happier I am. So I guess in a round about way I do seek happiness. I just seek it by learning and growing, and lifestyle is a great way to do that.

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)

Post #: 15

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 9:38:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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ww

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
I am not here for happiness. I am here for adventure. Then again, adventure makes me happy so.....

All the king's horses
All the king's men
Surrounded the chapel
To trap me again

The lady in waiting
Lips red with rouge
She offered me pleasures
I could not refuse, no

For I was born,
Born for adventure
Women, whisky and sin
No, never surrender
Live by the sword to the end!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/music/wma-pop-up/B000002GB2001006/ref=mu_sam_wma_001_006/104-8712113-2662309

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 16

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 11:04:25 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i don't pursue happiness. i have always had happiness. Not that i have never been sad. Of course i have but, i have always been one that bounces back pretty quickly. i have never let anything keep me down for long.

If i was to feel a need to pursue happiness, i think it would be an exhausting struggle. What would i have to do to try to find it? Look in one place and then another and another? That would be very frustrating for me.

Happiness lies inside me. i choose to be a happy and positive person. i wake up and go outside and watch the birds and squirrels going about their business and i see beauty in nature and i feel good to be alive. i may not have everything i would like but, i have always been happy with what i have. i'm happy to be alive and relatively healthy. i'm happy to be me. i'm happy for the opportunities i have had and for most of the choices i have made. i'm happy to have had the experiences i have had. i'm happy for being a mom and a slave and for my wonderful Master. There's so much to be happy about. i don't need to pursue it.

i guess i'm pretty simple in what makes me happy. i am very happy just being in a tent in the woods, making my own food and living off the land. i'm a cheap happy. Some people seem to be much more complicated in what they need to be happy and it seems to cost them a lot more to be happy.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 17

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 11:05:38 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

KoM, it's a very good question. Do I actively pursue happiness? Yes, I believe I do. I say that off of the top of My head thinking about how I approach things. I know that I take the actions that I need to take to make that pursuit possible. The example that someone else gave about being happy in enjoying a good book will work. In other words, if I'm happy reading a book, it's up to Me to purchase said book to enjoy. There is an action that I must have in order to achieve it. There's work (minimal) to be done for Me to have that happiness.

One of the things that I've been working on in these past few months is getting back to the things that do make Me happy. Getting involved again in the lifestyle community, building My poly family, and other specific goals have been worked on. I'm not sure if the proper definition of doing these things would be the pursuit of happiness. Being content or more centered might be better. I know that I'm happier now, taking the steps that I have.

Yes, as someone mentioned, the life stuff does come into play here. I've yet to meet anyone who is perfectly happy in every moment in life. There are always the extreme things that happen that can rock anyone's world. (Trust Me on this one. Had a good car wreck less than a week ago.) Still, I know that My view has become a lot more positive. These days, I see a lot more of the silver linings than I do the clouds. I attribute that very specifically to the things I've been doing in My life in general. Because I'm going after what I want, I see things in a better light. That might be rambling on My part, but I hope it makes sense.

Thank you for the thought provoking question, KoM. I look forward to reading other responses.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/16/2007 11:07:33 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 18

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 11:28:05 PM

RRafe

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Joined: 8/29/2007
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No, but I can stop-and let it catch up with me.

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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Post #: 19

RE: Pursuit of Happiness - 10/16/2007 11:29:13 PM

Gwynvyd

Posts: 4949
Status: offline

Very good question.

I do not think one can actively persue happiness and hold onto it. It is a natural quality that comes from within once you are at peace with yourself. It is knowing everything is as it should be.. no matter what happens along in your journey.
Once you find that center of balance within yourself you are naturaly at peace and happiness follows in each and every thing you do and say. Life is not all sunshine and roses certainly, but it does give you insight to realize things are as they should be, and why be unhappy if you can not effect a change. If you can.. then by all means. When you can wake up each day, and feel too blessed to be stressed (as the saying goes) and realize every moment is a blessing.. and every thing can be a joy in your life if you only get out of your own way.. then I feel you will have happiness.

There is always a reason for everything... even if you do not fully understand it at the time. The Chinese tale behind Yin and Yang best describes this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt75vonma94 This explained the story behind Yin/Yang.

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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