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sachiaiko -> RE: Pets in Iraq (10/16/2007 2:28:09 PM)
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Thank you all for your incredible support.
Thankfully, i'm the type to dive right into hard core research before i actually have him do anything potentially damaging. One of the things that is hard for me is that i feel like i should be protecting him, but i cant do that from where i am. Hell, i couldnt do it if i was there. I suffer a chronic pain disorder and am a cancer survivor, no way in hell they'd touch me with a ten foot pole :laughs: Thank god!! :grins at all of you: Hey, some hardships have their bonuses. The thing is, its actually a false statement the military is putting out there about being discharged for being gay. They are required to discharge you without taking your sexual preferences in to account so if you've had a good career, they will discharge you honorably. This, however, does mean that you cant tell them about your sexual romps with the same sex. lol. The correct way to do it is to contact a lawyer, and have them send a letter in tandem with your letter which says you have come out that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or tran. Do not talk about ANY sexual acts, etc, because those can be courtmarshaled. Then you do loose some of your rights. However, with theletters, they are required to keep it silent, they cant share with your fellows whats going on. A letter is all that is required, having a lawyer support you makes it clear there is a third person involved, that way they do not argue it or pretend it didnt happen. or "Loose" the paperwork, which is happening. It should take between 3 to 6 months to discharge some one for being gay or bisexual etc. If its done properly, and they should come out with honorable discharge and depending on their number of years of service they will even retain many benefits.
AS for Stuart, he was in the military when i met him. However they had "sworn" that he would NOT go to iraq, blah blah blah. Also they promised him school benefits etc etc etc Sadly, Something like 85 percent of school benefits are never claimed because its not actually ENOUGH to send some one to school on. So, in the first year you are a member of the military you go through paying 100 a month to qualify for school bennies. This basically means most of the men pay 1200 bucks, and never get their bennies, meaning they actually MAKE MONEY on this program rather then give it out. (Sick huh?) So he thought joining would set him up to make his dream happen - he wants to be a middle school science teacher, its his dreamn and well it really well describes his personality and soft-hearted nature if you catch what i mean. He doesnt Belong there.
As for the anxiety. When he joined, he'd had previous bouts of it but wasnt having any problems during the time he joined. Shortly after being sent to Iraq, low and behold, he stops being able to concentrate and the military doc puts him on meds. :sighs: His own description of what happens is that if he doesnt have his meds he gets so anxious that he cant concentrate on the task at hand. This is yet another reason why his fellow soldiers are spending extra time and attention making sure he's safe. Not only is he submissive, which they all know apparently, he's also anxious all the time, so they spend a lot of their energy looking out for him which puts THEM in danger, but he still panics that somehow looking out for them makes then work BETTER, like they have a reason to fight hard because they are trying to keep him safe, and honestly i think they are just trying to make him feel better.Like he's not a burden. All of them i am pretty certain would rather he be home sending them cookies and beer then out there in danger.
So, when i found out the school bennies wasnt really happening the way he thought, then they broke their word and sent him to Iraq, then his term of contract as only 6 years, i informed him ALL contracts are actually 8 years, not 6 its just another lie they tell to get you to sign up. Most everyone he knows was lied to when they joined up, and he just basically doesnt know what to do.
If we can get him out due to his anxiety, then we need to do that. Flat out we need to do it, i would rather it be that then the being gay, b ut the being bisexual thing at least i can protect him to a certain extent with lawyers etc. I already contacted one company who helps soldiers in this situation make sure they dont get harassed, outed to their fellows, and makes sure they DO get sent home when they come out. I set him up to talk with them, and he panicked again and now refuses to do it. I can only do so much, they told me if they talk to ME then i could be forced to testify against him cause the client is him, not me, and the info we share is not privilaged. So really i went as far as i could with it. I'm just having a hard time with it right now. He is a sweet, innocent, tender hearted man and i dont want him coming home fucked in the head, or missing a limb, or screaming and ducking everytime a car backfires, ya know?
Anyhow, the ONLY reasoon he says he's wanting to stay at this point is his guys. And i appreciate it, but i told him i'd support him in sending them stuff every week, etc etc etc. He could be a support from here, ya know? Gah.
Anyhoot, thanks for all yer support, thanks for your info, and i am so sorry for those of you in the same boat as me. I think it is hard because as his Domme, i want to protect him, its my job. To nurture, push him to his limits, but he put his submission in my hands, and i need to value and respect and protect that and i feel like my hands are tied. I cant do that, and i wish i could. I wish i could force the issue, but i know if i did and some one he cared for died he'd never get over it. Its something he has to decide, and i hate feeling like i cant do anything. I'm screaming logic here, but it doesnt matter.
Oh, and the one other thing is his brother just recently got put in a news report - he's also in the military, so now its equally a dick waving contest. :Screams: Its just ridiculous!
Still at a loss,
Mistress Nikki
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