RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect?

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YesMistressIrish -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/16/2007 8:41:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercurialdame [so I often wonder if maybe it's just not meant to be.) Your summary above, more or less says, that sometimes, life has a plan allready mapped out for you. And if your 'destined' to be single, then your wasting your time trying to fight that. FUCK THAT!!! Let someone else control you? Even if their name is fate. That's way too passive for me. If i want something, i go out and get it. Im against fatalistic thinking, it paralyses people. It keeps people still, prevents risk taking learning and growth. Sure, its a real bummer to of not found someone. It aint none too pleasant either, to of found someone and lost em. But id rather have loved and lost, than never loved at all. And whilst im hunting down my partner, i kiss tons of frogs. One of those frogs, turned out to be a prince, but id never of known, had i not sought him out, hunted him down, and caught him. Life is for living. Not for letting it flow around, over, and passed you. When im in hell, i want to be able to say, at the very least, "what a ride!". Mercurialdame Shazaaam! [;)]

sammiebabygirl -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/16/2007 9:43:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 Well unless your actively searching you will never know the answer to that question I agree with that, however, I am always hearing people say that when you stop looking is when you will find what you want. jen

corsetgirl -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/16/2007 9:51:57 PM)
I have experienced many disappointments and kissed my share of frogs so I have stopped searching but it does not mean I cannot attend any munches or meet people, either. As a matter of fact, I had more success at meeting people face to face than on these sites. I am fine being on my own for the time being and am very comfortable with my independence because I want to be in a good relationship with the future "Mr. Dom Right". In addition, I have also weeded out the "Mr. Dom Wrongs", which is the reason why the connection is not there because of the players, liars and fakes!

cloudboy -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/18/2007 10:02:53 PM)
You are talking nonsense. Just remember "the pick up artist," MYSTERY, got himself a whole TV show by mastering attitude, costumes, and small talk. Maybe all you need is a funny hat, black nails, flight goggles, and eyeliner.

LadyLegs -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/18/2007 10:24:09 PM)
Fate (what is "meant to be") is only the cards you were dealt. How you play them is up to you. I say bluff.

subtoFemDommes -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/18/2007 10:46:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 Well unless your actively searching you will never know the answer to that question I agree with that, however, I am always hearing people say that when you stop looking is when you will find what you want. jen Particularly true if what you are looking for is the rear end of the car in front of you. (Sorry ... I just couldn't help myself.)

MsPleasure -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 6:00:24 AM)
Focus on doing what you really enjoy and find people that also enjoy those things. Find writing clubs, frequent book stores, book signings etc. Hopefully your hygiene is good and you have a neat appearance. Stop "trying" to make a connection. Most times when you are in an environment that you know something about its easier to socialize. There are many good men and women out there. But unfortunately they are stuck at home thinking your thoughts. Be safe and have fun.

dawntreader -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 7:47:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b This means I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I've failed many more times than I've ever succeeded. Been fooled a lot of times, fooled myself even more times, got hurt too, but all along I've learned, and I'm living for the times when I've succeeded, achieved, and been able to find enough happiness and love to share with other people. I live differently to most other people, because of who I am, I follow my Soul, I'm prepared to follow my dreams wherever they may lead, even if they come to nothing. I'm here and living and breathing, and so is this world and so are other people and I want to share as much love and happiness as I can with other people because that is all I'm going to be leaving behind when I'm gone. This is all I've tried to leave behind in all my previous relationships and and I try my best to leave as much behind me throughout each and every day. Greetings stella, i pulled this section from your post because it resonates with me and is how i live my life as well. Wonderfully said! Greetings sarbonne, i have thought like you at times in my life and i have had sufficient disappointment to "justify" in my own mind those negative thoughts. However, as many have said here in so many ways...your life is your story and as a writer, i am sure you realize only you can write it. What do you want your life to be? It should never depend on another - it is your story...triumphs and disappointments. i too do not think there is One for me. i am too much of a free spirit. However, there have been several Ones in my life and i believe several more to come. For me, it is about the "season" i am at with my life. i believe i make choices that contribute to being with someone AND to being alone and i am learning to embrace it all. Also living in the moment given is very important to me. i think it also comes down to how we view our life. i happen to think mine is amazing even when i am the only one in it. Sharing it expands my joy but is not neccessary~ Ofcourse, all this enlightenment cannot replace the feeling of another beside me in bed...but you can bet i appreciate the hell out of it when i am cuddled up to someone, even if it is just those fleeting minutes before dawn~

domiguy -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 8:22:34 AM)
I believe for every drop of rain that falls A flower grows, I believe that somewhere in the darkest night A candle glows. I believe for everyone who goes astray Someone will come to show the way. I believe, Oh, I believe I believe that no matter how attractive a woman is someone is tired of fucking her. I believe that if you can't be happy by yourself alone with your thoughts then you can never be happy with someone else. I believe that God doesn't meddle in the affairs of mere mortals. I believe that Jesus was brown...And that Mary after giving birth to the son of God,at the ripe age of 15, went on to have more children...All of them brown as well. I believe, Oh, I believe I believe that kissing is more intimate than fucking I believe that a woman going down on another woman is hot I believe that I would rather spend time alone on the water then in the company of most people that I have ever met I believe I will never remarry...But might cohabit with another till it is time to move on. I believe, Oh, I believe I believe that a good dump can be better than sex. I believe that there is nothing as beautiful as the sun rising and setting and the form and the smell of a woman. I believe, Oh, I believe

dawntreader -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 8:39:22 AM)
Domiguy, i believe...you are such a romantic[;)]

sweetNsmartBBW -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 8:42:45 AM)
This is from Jan Denise's newspaper column several years ago. She's the author of "Naked Relationships", and I love reading what she has to say- always thought provoking. I thought it might fit well in this thread: No giving up allowed All he had to do is ask me if I was sitting down. And I knew immediately — he’s getting married. It was twenty years after his divorce from a marriage that lasted only a year; but when he had found the one, he knew it on the first date. Maybe you've been looking and hoping so long that you've almost given up. Maybe you've even told people that you have given up. Maybe they have believed you, but I don't. I bet you still have a flicker of hope. And I want to fan it. I want you to know that love is around the corner. It’s behind one of those doors you haven't opened yet. It’s in the next office, on the next street, or at your next meeting. It’s there somewhere. You have to be ready for love when the right one comes along, though. How can anybody be the one, if, when you meet, you are not ready? If you find the perfect car and you can't pay for it, is it really the perfect car for you. If you wait for the perfect wave and it comes along before you're skilled enough to handle it, is it still the perfect wave for you. And if you encounter the perfect partner while you're still figuring out who you are, is he or she really perfect — for you. Being ready: • Strengthens your faith • Makes you attractive • Provokes you to action And each of the three propels the other two: Stronger faith makes you more attractive and provokes you to more action. Being attractive strengthens your faith and provokes more action. And taking more action strengthens your faith and makes you more attractive. When you find what you're looking for, you'll wonder how you could have doubted its existence. Oh, I know, you've been looking on and off for a long time. My friend had been too. And wholah, one day, it just happened. Now he’s living his dream. Think about the possibilities — think about your possibilities — and live your life with vibrant hope. Vibrant hope is attractive to prospective partners around the corner, behind the door, down the street. Believe in yourself and your possibilities. Be happy, love life, meet people, enjoy people, love them; but don't spin your wheels in relationships that aren't going anywhere. Don't be trying to turn somebody into the one, when the one appears. Take the class, wash the car, go to Europe, but don't forget that it could happen anytime. Don't forget to smile and live as though you know it’s going to happen anytime. And it will. I teased my friend, after congratulating him, about wanting to one-up his buddy who was recently engaged after only a few months of dating. We joked about it. But there is something about seeing romance bloom that makes us know that it can. There is something about seeing love in all its glory that makes us believe that it is possible — for us. You may not know my friend, but I do. If it can happen for him, it can happen for you. I'm not suggesting that he didn't do his part. You can do yours too. “So, don't count the old guy out,” said my friend. You never know when it’s going to happen. Be ready.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 8:55:56 AM)
very cool and you said it best. all to many times we get in mud of dispare. no rope to pull us out. great post i agree with sweetnsmart

VieVivante -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 10:00:25 AM)
Using quick reply: Let me put it this way, Walt Disney went bankrupt six (or was it seven) times before he hit success. The world would be a lesser place if he had just given up after the fourth failure, or the fifth. He didn't. There are people who prefer to be alone. That is a conscious decision on their part, not that they just gave up. If one wants someone in their life, the only way to have it happen is to keep trying. Become the best person you can be, and take classes or training if you have weak areas. Half of "luck" is being prepared when the chance is suddenly presented to you.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 10:43:47 AM)
Sarbonn, what you are looking for is out there, you just have problems seeing the forest for the trees. It doesn't have anything to do with you being "over qualified" or intimidating to some female dominants... it's all you. Think about your past relationships... The one thing they have in common is that none of them were apparently right for you. Well, isn't the definition of insanity attempting the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Isn't it time to step out of the comfort zone? Take some chances, close your eyes and jump occasionally? You think things through until you can see every worst case scenerio. I've watched you on these boards for soooo long. The ups and down, the regrets and rewards, the "should haves" and "could haves". Stop kidding yourself, you aren't meant to be alone. I don't believe anyone is, I do believe that some people sabotage themselves with out being aware of it and you're one of them. *I don't mean for this to sound as judgemental as it probably does, you know I've always liked you but giving up just isn't right, not for you, not for anyone that only wants to find happiness.* *Jewel*

sexyred1 -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 11:59:54 AM)
I have wondered this same question, despite the fact that I have been married, divorced, been madly, passionately in love a few times and have always had someone in my life, until now. I do not believe that there is someone for everyone. I DO believe that we are not meant to be alone. I just think that sometimes luck plays a part in all this, as in all things. I do not believe that if you stop looking, it will come, nor do I believe wholeheartedly in a constant search. Our world has changed and accelerated too much technologically and altered the way that humans interact, thereby changing the way that we COULD connect. The way our parents met in the old days could happen today, but is less likely now. I believe that had I been born in another time, I would probably be happier than I am today, perhaps. But, I have come to a place in my life where I do sincerely wish I could connect with the right one, but having had the wrong ones come and go so often, I realize I had traded being in a relationship as opposed to waiting for better matches for myself. So now, after all the hurt and frustration and especially the self knowledge and awareness I have gained, I would rather be alone than with anyone who does not truly make me happy. Does this make me sad? Yes, of course, but I would rather be comfortably numb without a partner than be violently upset with the wrong one. Am I giving up? No, but not looking as hard as I did a few years ago.

KatyLied -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 12:04:32 PM)
quote: especially the self knowledge and awareness I have gained, I would rather be alone than with anyone who does not truly make me happy. Does this make me sad? Turn it around just a bit. Feel empowered. It's empowering when you know that you are walking through life, not settling for second best, not selling out for "almost, but not quite right." I'd rather be happily alone than with the wrong person. It makes for a less-conflicted, less drama-filled life, and I'd rather have peace over the chaos of a bad relationship.

sexyred1 -> RE: Ever wonder if you just weren't supposed to connect? (10/19/2007 12:11:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: especially the self knowledge and awareness I have gained, I would rather be alone than with anyone who does not truly make me happy. Does this make me sad? Turn it around just a bit. Feel empowered. It's empowering when you know that you are walking through life, not settling for second best, not selling out for "almost, but not quite right." I'd rather be happily alone than with the wrong person. It makes for a less-conflicted, less drama-filled life, and I'd rather have peace over the chaos of a bad relationship. I agree, which is why I finally decided to stop all the insanity and drama of my exes coming back in my life.

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