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Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 2:09:03 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		I recently got the chance to try something new, something that used to scare the bejeesus outta me. It was something that I always thought was too edgy, too much, too something...for me. It was suggested to me though, my initial reaction was nope nope no, not this girl. But then I started to think about it, and decided it was something that I was interested in trying. Soooooo...to make a long story very short, I did it, loved it, and can't wait to try it again.

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?

kat

< Message edited by probablyknowme -- 10/14/2007 2:15:51 PM >

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 2:13:34 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Don't I know you?

And yes, sometimes we step off the edge and discover we can fly.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 2:48:24 PM   
kirii


Posts: 79
Status: offline
I love straddling the edge. So much so that when I play with another, I don’t allow safe words. I specifically state that we play until he wishes to stop, or until he feels that I have reached my end.
Have I always played this way? Yes, from the first time I felt a flogger against my skin I have followed my own set of rules in this area.
For myself, a huge part of the ‘edge’ comes from the fact that many that I play with are virtual strangers. I may have only met them an hour ago and here he is using breath play on me, whipping my skin till it bleeds; or taking a knife to me J
There are still some things that I absolutely will not do or compromise on; one being restraints. When I play with someone, I do not allow restraints of any kind, or gags. Another is that I never, never play with someone outside of a club or dungeon. I play in public ONLY. I suppose that if I was to relax these a bit, it may become more edgy, but, I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

(in reply to probablyknowme)
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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 3:14:48 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?


My definitions of edge play remain static, even though my limits may change.

As for something that seemed "too extreme" for me no longer being a limit... not so much. The only "limit" of mine that I have changed, was more in the circumstances under which I would play. Up until a few months ago I was hell bent on playing only within the context of some form of a commited relationship. I have since very much changed my mind on that, and the vast majority of my play experience tends to be casual (primarily public) scenes.


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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 3:30:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Almost everyone. 

It's most fun when it's a newbie who has a steel clad list of "nos" which are really just "I have no idea what that really is or like, but it scared me so I'm not ever going to give it a try" and then they actually try it because of curiousity or pressure or whatever and the next day suddenly it's "OMG this is just amazing and wonderful!"

Edge play as a term generally is used to mean specific types of play which are ALWAYS high risk no matter how aware or responsible you try to be.  However, we each have things we personally call edge play for ourselves even if they are not generally high risk.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 10/14/2007 3:47:21 PM >

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 3:41:37 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		Pssst...i tried electrical play last night!

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 3:50:57 PM   
snowboardinpa


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirii


I love straddling the edge. So much so that when I play with another, I don’t allow safe words. I specifically state that we play until he wishes to stop, or until he feels that I have reached my end.
Have I always played this way? Yes, from the first time I felt a flogger against my skin I have followed my own set of rules in this area.
For myself, a huge part of the ‘edge’ comes from the fact that many that I play with are virtual strangers. I may have only met them an hour ago and here he is using breath play on me, whipping my skin till it bleeds; or taking a knife to me J
There are still some things that I absolutely will not do or compromise on; one being restraints. When I play with someone, I do not allow restraints of any kind, or gags. Another is that I never, never play with someone outside of a club or dungeon. I play in public ONLY. I suppose that if I was to relax these a bit, it may become more edgy, but, I don’t see it happening anytime soon.


everytime i read something you wrote i wish i was in the UK.


to answer the question yes. things have changed but thats just me.

(in reply to kirii)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 5:07:49 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

Pssst...i tried electrical play last night!



very cool i have tons of electrical toys. a very fun edge play. breath play is edgie for me but have done  Electrical is the best

(in reply to probablyknowme)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 5:11:25 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

I recently got the chance to try something new, something that used to scare the bejeesus outta me. It was something that I always thought was too edgy, too much, too something...for me. It was suggested to me though, my initial reaction was nope nope no, not this girl. But then I started to think about it, and decided it was something that I was interested in trying. Soooooo...to make a long story very short, I did it, loved it, and can't wait to try it again.

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?

kat

I was a weekend slap and tickle Dom until I really got into a power exchange long term relationship.  As that relationship grew, my style of play, my desires and fetishes increased and many got edgy, intense and to some extreme.  I am into physical things today that I am amazed at.

But those desires and "fetishes" are based on the connection and power exchange.  I look for partners I can grow with and our style of play grows.

Z-

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 5:52:35 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		I used to think fisting was too extreme,and would damage a woman beyond all hope of repair-till I had a girl beg me to.

It was interesting, feeling my knuckles sliding past her pc ring.......stretching SO much, then I just folded my fingers in, and that thing had me round the wrist. I looke down there,and couldn't belive I was doing this...........she was like a big sock puppet.

I ground my thumb knuckle up against her gspot, rotating my fist inside of her............so slick on that rubber glove........flicked her clit with my other fingers.and she CAME..............and came,and came, and............I thought she was going to break my freaking wrist with the contractions in her ring.

God...............

There isn't much I won't do, or consider doing after being in this since 95 or so.  Except real damage. If you can walk away-it's fine with me. But I do tend to intimidate some-and that's fine-not everyone plays the way I like to.

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 6:50:32 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		No, my definition of edge has not changed.

I consider anything where there is a risk I might kill a partner to be edge play -- that risk does not go away though I shouldn't be doing it at all (in my strong opinion) unless I believe I can do it as safely as possible.

So while I do knife play and breath control with Fox and we do it as safely as we can I do not forget that it could end in death if there is a mistake. I don't do these activities casually or lightly.

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 7:58:31 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Almost everyone. 

It's most fun when it's a newbie who has a steel clad list of "nos" which are really just "I have no idea what that really is or like, but it scared me so I'm not ever going to give it a try" and then they actually try it because of curiousity or pressure or whatever and the next day suddenly it's "OMG this is just amazing and wonderful!"



i can agree with you LA. i had my long long list of "nopes". Now more than half of them i enjoy like no other and am working on the other half

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 9:10:59 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

I recently got the chance to try something new, something that used to scare the bejeesus outta me. It was something that I always thought was too edgy, too much, too something...for me. It was suggested to me though, my initial reaction was nope nope no, not this girl. But then I started to think about it, and decided it was something that I was interested in trying. Soooooo...to make a long story very short, I did it, loved it, and can't wait to try it again.

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?

kat


My definition of edge play doesn't change.  Edge play involves types of activities with some sort of risk to my life.  *But* what I find edgy does change, lol.  In my mind, edgy is something that makes me go, 'Nooooooo.  Pleasepleasepleaseplease no!'  While in conversation with my Dominant, I find myself referring to edgy things as whatever I don't enjoy.  Paddles are edgy to me, because I hate them and obviously only insanely uber kinky people use them.   Breath play, watersports, humiliation, face slapping....those things aren't edgy, because I like them.

And yes, what I enjoy has changed over time and I hope it continues to evolve and expand.


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/14/2007 9:23:09 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		How I play is generaly considered 'edge play' I didn't even know what that meant when I was doing it, I just knew I liked to push my boundries and I was lucky to have found a Top that could push them.

I am really happy when I hear others stretching and testing their boundries, wether it be a baby step or a leap of faith, it's how we grow. Also what is edge play to one person might not be to another.


denika

(in reply to junecleaver)
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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 2:12:42 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?



I remember, quite indignantly, telling my first dom:

NO man will ever hit me with my consent!!!

For me then it was way to extreme, completely unacceptable and just very, very wrong.  With experience I now realise I am a complete masochist and I was young, foolish and naive.  Now I find lots of humour in the statement and with the tone that I used.

There are lots of things that I used to find too extreme, but now they are just common practice.  But isn't that the point?  As we progress on our journey we grow, our boundaries expand and we change into the person we sometimes didn't know was within us.

Faith
:: smiles ::

(in reply to probablyknowme)
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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 2:22:21 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Just as my limits have changed over the years .. so have the things I enjoy ... and there are even things I swore I would love that I have found either have no interest for me or I dislike immensely.

Its called growth.

I adore blade play and do it so often that I do not consider it edge play .. tho I know that others do.... Im confident in my ability with a blade .. but when I do not know a person that is weilding a blade on another ... I consider them doing edge play ... and that is totally logicaly in my mind!! lol

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 2:32:37 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I think everyone changes over time. Immediately after the birth of my first child, I swore black and blue that I would never have sex again!! I was SO never going through child birth again. Of course I did. The sex and the birth.

I think the best thing in life is to say "never say never".

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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 2:53:51 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

I recently got the chance to try something new, something that used to scare the bejeesus outta me. It was something that I always thought was too edgy, too much, too something...for me. It was suggested to me though, my initial reaction was nope nope no, not this girl. But then I started to think about it, and decided it was something that I was interested in trying. Soooooo...to make a long story very short, I did it, loved it, and can't wait to try it again.

My question is, how many of us have changed our definition of edge play as we have explored this lifestyle? Things that used to seem too extreme now are acceptable, maybe even one of our favorite things?

kat


Needles are that "thing" for me.  The gal who needed laughing gas to be able to handle the novacaine shot at the dentist, would be begging for more needle play?? who would'a thunk it!

Like Denika said, I just love my boundaries being pushed.  Love experiencing new, more, different, further,farther,deeper...




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RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 4:01:05 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Almost everyone. 

It's most fun when it's a newbie who has a steel clad list of "nos" which are really just "I have no idea what that really is or like, but it scared me so I'm not ever going to give it a try" and then they actually try it because of curiousity or pressure or whatever and the next day suddenly it's "OMG this is just amazing and wonderful!"

Edge play as a term generally is used to mean specific types of play which are ALWAYS high risk no matter how aware or responsible you try to be.  However, we each have things we personally call edge play for ourselves even if they are not generally high risk.


Yup, I agree.  My hard limits have changed drastically over the years, my definition of edge play has not.
l

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Edge play then but not now - 10/15/2007 4:08:46 AM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Lol...great topic!  I remember my first coffee date with ex-Master (before I knew he was a Dom and what D/s was all about).   He asked what I liked sexually and I replied "Anything but pain.  If there's pain during sex, I think we're doing it wrong."   roflmao

Anal play and watersports were two huge issues with me that were overcome during exploration.  Once the enjoyment of everything else was in place, and the trust, I found that there was really nothing I wouldn't try.  That's also the way I became bisexual.  What a feeling of freedom to be able to experiment within a trusting environment and find out that there is a lot of stuff to like that was previously a limit. 

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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