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going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 12:08:44 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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So since my recent thread in another part of the forums sorta had to do with the money & BDSM issue..I thought about this.

If you're someone looking to get know the lifestyle more, you're young and inexperienced, is going to a pro Domme a good solution? Do many of them take clients 18-20 rather than 21+? How are very young clients looked upon as opposed to older ones? HOW do I even go about doing this? Is it terribly expensive? The downside to being young is you're usually somewhat broke.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 12:33:04 PM

littlesarbonn

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I went to see a pro when I was young (about 20, I believe, or it could have been younger), and I thought it was eye opening. As for whether or not it is expensive, the amounts will vary by where you are and to whom you are planning to see. There is one woman I was wanting to see, but her prices are prohibitive to me as it is more along the lines of a cost benefit analysis, where I was thinking, "I can do one session with this woman or I can by a new wide screen plasma TV." There are some houses, especially in my area, that are somewhat affordable, although prices have really gone up over the years to where I'd really have to be sure about seeing a specific person before I'd venture into the paying route again. And there haven't been any, aside from the "her or the plasma TV" woman that I gave that much thought.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 12:38:09 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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I live in a mid-sized town in the Bible Belt. Doubt there any pros here... I'll probably have to wait until I move somewhere else.

Thanks for the insight littlesarbonn!

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 1:03:50 PM

cbtok

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quote:

I live in a mid-sized town in the Bible Belt. Doubt there any pros here... I'll probably have to wait until I move somewhere else.

Essentially what you are saying here is that you are afraid of being found out where you live near Houston. There are lots of very good professionals in your area (and, indeed in all areas) who, for the right amount of cash, will give you a full introduction to what you seek.

One issue is enough cash. That requires work on your part. You do have a job don't you?

Don't lie to a professional about your age. In many states there is "majority" and "super-majority." they are reflected in how you can, at 18, enlist in the military without parental consent but you may not marry without their approval until 21 in many areas. Professionals should, and most do, pay careful attention to legal issues associated with their craft (doesn't matter if they're Dommes or CPAs). Some pros simply won't see someone under a certain age. I know one who will not see you until you are 25 and prefers gentlemen over 40, but that's defining a demographic to whom she prefers to cater.

Do tell a professional what you wish to experience and do expect to get a safeword that will allow you to end a session. If you are to be restricted as to sounds you might make, all pros I have met allow the use of a safe gesture.

Go through a BDSM checklist and mark answers to lists of experiences you would and would not like to have. Make sure the pro receives that in advance of your visit. Plan to discuss your likes and fantasies with the pro but don't get into a long, drawn out conversation that is all about your deciding to not go through with it.

Be totally and utterly prompt. Not early, not late. If you're concerned about getting there on time, use Mapquest to get you there and leave yourself time to wait outside her establishment while you collect yourself and wait until "early" passes and "on time" arrives. She'll be discreet, you can count on that.

Be pleasant in your demeanor and your body odor. Shower first and don't bathe in cologne or a "loud"-smelling soap. If you expect anal play, give yourself an enema and make sure you are clean inside and out. Shave your pubic area so she can easily get to your "wobbly bits."

Also understand that she wants repeat customers. She's not going to bite (assuming that's not your style). She's not going to do something you don't consent to. She is probably going to give you a wonderful ride that you'll treasure for a lifetime. And you should expect to want to do more. So relax and think of a visit to a pro as the same thing as a visit to a high-end stereo store: You'll part with a fair amount of money but it is exactly what you want.

Collar Me has a search function. Use it. There are professionals in your area. Today. Now.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 1:17:20 PM

LATEXBABY64

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i think is because of mental stablity responsiblity. seasoned people understand the laws of life and such.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 1:44:01 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I think that you will find that many pro dominants are also active in their local scene (s) and may be a good resource for that as well. Also, cash is lovely, but skills are good too. Some pro dommes are interested in folks who can do woodworking, or computer things, or whatever (NOT CLEANING). You might be able to negotiate a deal IF you do not go about it as if you are in the souk bickering over the cost of a basket. Professionals often barter between themselves (be they dommes or CPA's) and offering a service for a service can be an option.

{edited to add} Regarding age, I would not see anyone under 21, for the consent rules, and also because I think that those under that age might not be utterly certain what they really want. Honestly, I would prefer no one under 25. The younger ones I recommended to the TNG group. Kids should play together. :)

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 10/13/2007 1:45:42 PM >

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 2:39:20 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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Thanks so much for your advice cbtok, I actually don't live in Houston anymore though. I need to change my location. I live in Tyler, Texas. AGAIN.

And to LadyHibiscus: "Kids should play together"? Please. I don't like women around my age too much, honestly.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 3:35:55 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

If you're someone looking to get know the lifestyle more, you're young and inexperienced, is going to a pro Domme a good solution?

Becomming friends with a pro Domme is a good solution. This will envolve going to munches and play parties where you will volunteer for demonstrations. "Oh you bought a new whip? Feel free to use it on me to see how it works."

Unfortunatly, Tyler does not offer many if any play parties. It's tough enough finding just finding a domme close to you. I lived in Chandler for two years. Your best option is making trips to Dallas for the play parties.

Cash for the Sanctuary and Lizard Lounge/Church might be hard to cough up but you'll find a way to pull off a trip atleast every other month.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 8:44:11 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

And to LadyHibiscus: "Kids should play together"? Please. I don't like women around my age too much, honestly.

Have you gotten burned by gals your own age? That's too bad. And I stand by my feeling/opinion that kids---the young in calendar years---who have no experience should play with each other and figure out what the hell it is they are looking for with their peer group, instead of dealing with old coots who have been around the block a few times.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/13/2007 9:12:37 PM

goddessAVA

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I must admit I am very wary of sessioning with anyone below 35 and I really prefer those who have had experience with other pros who are well known. I also prefer seeing subbies who are not spending their whole paycheck to see me-not that I'm not worth it but seeing someone on a semi regular basis is much more gratifying for me. Read the reviews on Max Fisch, find someone who sounds good in a reasonably nearby area and be prepared to wait for an appointment. Also, no matter how good the Domme, the chemistry does not always work, especially for a onetime appt., your fantasy if highly specified may not live up to the reality. Perhaps try to visit a House to begin with, afterwards you have a better chance at seeing an independent. You might have a shot at meeting a pro in the local bdsm community but outside of NYC it is pretty hostile towards pros and thus the "Big" name Dommes tend not to be found there.

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RE: going to a pro and age - 10/14/2007 1:10:52 AM

Guilty1974

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

And I stand by my feeling/opinion that kids---the young in calendar years---who have no experience should play with each other and figure out what the hell it is they are looking for with their peer group, instead of dealing with old coots who have been around the block a few times.

And my personal experience here is that for many "kids" (I wouldn't call them that) that is true. They do attend TNG meetings and are happy with that. But there's also a few of them who do prefer more mature partners (especially some girls) and I don't see why they shouldn't follow their own feelings. At 18, here, you are considered adult. You can marry, get a mortgage, get shot in the army, I sure think you can decide for yourself if you want to see a pro domme.

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