CURIOUS AS TO WHY

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MistressPurpleFL -> CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:09:14 AM)
We are all supposed to be adults right? We are all entitled to our opinions and we should all have the right to agree to disagree; yet it seems that many people are attacked for their opinions. Also why do we need to place "LABELS" on one another? Can't we just be what we ARE? Sometimes the posting or saying of a particular word or label gets everyone riled up. Aren't we adults enough to think our answers through before we share it with Cyberspace? I just started posting on collar me message boards and have read many intellectual posts and some rather ignorant ones but that is what keeps things interesting I suppose. I have always felt that as long as the individuals involved in any activiity (legal ones but then again what we do is sometimes considered illegal to the "vanilla" folks since they do not really understand) are adults and consenting whether subconscious or otherwise we should all just enjoy life; love, and bdsm . Just my 2 cents [8\|]

amiciaN -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:14:21 AM)
Regarding labels-- I finally gave up on labels with one notable exception: His! As long as that is there, I don't care what other label someone puts with it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:14:49 AM)
There's a lot going on here, but to address the labels- while you may say "If you label me, you negate me" (and someone did), the fact is that to use language, we need commonly understood symbols (what we call words) to communicate. How commonly understood do we need to accomplish the level of communication we desire is not a fixed point either. I can enjoy labels and not be entrapped by them. http://www.collarchat.com/m_847613/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#847750 Testing for the dynamic label http://www.collarchat.com/m_615892/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#615900 Food for thought http://www.collarchat.com/m_605105/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#605262 Philosophies concerning bdsm labels http://www.collarchat.com/m_566727/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#566808 Are we defined only by our labels? http://www.collarchat.com/m_515260/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#515339 labels!! http://www.collarchat.com/m_211188/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#211207 A question about labels

shadowmate -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:15:44 AM)
Well lets see. If you think about it, everyone puts ' labels ' on everyone, and everything. Is that not their right to their own opinion on different matters? Granted, it should be stated as I have a habit of telling people, ' whatever floats your boat '. My meaning on that is simple, like some enjoy the play of urination, I might gag at it, crinkle my nose, and say that is disgusting, however, said person likes it. So long as it is not me, who am I to judge right? But I believe at some point we all judge one another.

sirguym -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:17:26 AM)
It is just that some people think that by rubbishing what others say, it makes them sound more knowledgeable, cleverer, more attractive and more likely to find someone to play with. To the rest of us it simply establishes or confirms our opinion that they are ignorant, stupid, boring **** who ought to be ignored. Yes, there are opinions expressed that I disagree with; and if so I will say why, both respectfully and politely. Especially if I see no particular reason to feel real respect for them!

ExSteelAgain -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:23:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirguym It is just that some people think that by rubbishing what others say, it makes them sound more knowledgeable, cleverer, more attractive and more likely to find someone to play with. To the rest of us it simply establishes or confirms our opinion that they are ignorant, stupid, boring **** who ought to be ignored. Yes, there are opinions expressed that I disagree with; and if so I will say why, both respectfully and politely. Especially if I see no particular reason to feel real respect for them! That pretty much says it for me. I'll only add that the dumber they are the more obnoxious they can be, it seems.

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:24:04 AM)
There are also people who come use this as an outlet to vent anger but are not like that at all in real life.. I don't know why that is.. It makes me cringe when I read posts like that.. But sometimes watching the fireworks can be entertaining , other times it just gets tiresome...

MistressPurpleFL -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:33:44 AM)
I will agree that subconsciously we may all tend to judge others but some actually have the nerve to post their judgemental views in writing. (Which of course is their right.) I just find it entertaining to read; at times though it can just be really silly. I have been placed under many labels but a label does not define WHO I AM; also sometimes the people placing labels really just don't understand and never will so I pay them no mind. I and the higher power define what I was, who I am and what I am going to be. I just want to enjoy life as I know many others do. Smiles[;)]

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:44:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL Also why do we need to place "LABELS" on one another? To create or relate context, provide perspective or attempt to further understanding. One of the issues I have with some labels is that they are subjective - and some people forget that (i.e. someone that seems 'bossy' to you might be 'assertive' to someone else). In that regard, every label is somewhat enigmatic yet some folks treat them as dogmatic and static. Therefore, they're really only personal assessments of perspective - of the 'labeler'. You can certainly tell a lot about a person by the labels they choose to hang around others' necks...or by the labels that they cannot see themselves wearing (denial) when those around them can. shrugs, tipping his hat - Mr. S

dcnovice -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:45:14 AM)
<fast reply> One fine day in my childhood, I decided to make cinnamon toast. Did the bread, spread the butter, then went to the spice rack. Looked too quickly at the label, saw the "C," and failed to notice that I was putting celery salt on my snack! Learned a lesson that day about the double-edged nature of labels. On the one hand, they can be mighty handy. When I'm making plum pudding, it's awfully nice to be able to tell the allspice (which I use) from the mace (which I don't) apart without having to open each jar and taste the similar-looking contents. Similarly, it's handy when a profile tells me whether someone is dominant or submissive, gay/bi or straight without my needing to contact each individual and ask. On the other hand, though, my taste of celery salt toast (not recommended, btw) reminds me that labels need to be looked at carefully. I need to ask myself whether the label really says what I think it does and (in the case of people) whether it means the same thing to someone else as it does to me.

FullCircle -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 11:56:11 AM)
I don’t understand the Easyiron label on tea towels. Who the flip irons tea towels for F sake and when would it be complicated to iron one?

softpjOS -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 1:09:40 PM)
Perhaps a large part of the problem is perception. I know many disagreements stem from the fact that any given statement can be taken many many many ways. What one will read as a simple opinion, another will read as an attack on theirs and thus the headbanging shall begin. Each side feeling the need to "defend" their view/opinion. Typically when I "see" this happening I skip to the next post. Sad that so many good discussions get sidetracked by a couple of people refusing to agree to disagree. My personal view on it all... theres this little X at the top right of the page which gives me the chance to add my final two cents to any silliness. [:D] pj

FullCircle -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 1:14:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softpjOS My personal view on it all... theres this little X at the top right of the page which gives me the chance to add my final two cents to any silliness. [:D] With all due respect pj some of us don’t have the lil X because we have set our screen size incorrectly and it is off the screen under the post-it note entitled ‘must eat’. For us we are stuck here in cyberland and have no means of escape. It’s highly annoying, I only came here because I thought this site was about the Nintendo DS.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 1:20:16 PM)
they art of comunication. Yep we are who we are. We Judge we observe. who cares about labels. Who cares if your anything in the lifestyle. It just matters to you and the one your with. Everyone else kiss my latex hiny

camille65 -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 1:23:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL We are all supposed to be adults right? We are all entitled to our opinions and we should all have the right to agree to disagree; yet it seems that many people are attacked for their opinions. Yes, some are attacked for their opinions. Other times it can be very difficult to discern if it is opinion or what they consider to be fact when it is in truth just their opinion. Also why do we need to place "LABELS" on one another? Can't we just be what we ARE? Sometimes the posting or saying of a particular word or label gets everyone riled up. Hey I like labels. I use the label submissive so that folks know off the bat that I'm not a dominant person. It's easier than getting into a 20 minute discussion where I have to explain what I am in 2500 words or more. Aren't we adults enough to think our answers through before we share it with Cyberspace? That one I've given up on. I just started posting on collar me message boards and have read many intellectual posts and some rather ignorant ones but that is what keeps things interesting I suppose. For the first time I've begun to block those I consider ignorant, part of me feels like I've given in to something and another part is enjoying the cleaned up forums. I have always felt that as long as the individuals involved in any activiity (legal ones but then again what we do is sometimes considered illegal to the "vanilla" folks since they do not really understand) are adults and consenting whether subconscious or otherwise we should all just enjoy life; love, and bdsm . This was hard hard for me to learn. There are still days where I have to learn it all over again. Just because we hang out under the label BDSM doesn't mean that we are any different from any other huge group of people. There are jerks everywhere, nice people everywhere, idiots everywhere and potential friends everywhere. We are just a mass of humanity like anywhere else. Just my 2 cents [8\|]

kdsub -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 2:19:41 PM)
I like to debate and even argue…I often like to be the devils advocate… but I am always respectful of others opinions. If I am attacked I still try to be respectful…but like most of us I have limits of what I will take without retaliating. Then I must admit, to my shame, I retaliate gleefully. It should come as no surprise that people who feel inadequate or entitled because they consider themselves dominate, love to disrespect others who dare to disagree with them. There are also those that are subservient and want to over compensate for their timidity. Neither of these types would talk that way face to face…at least they would think twice about it anyway. They are the truly weak among us. There have been times when others think I am attacking them when I am not. Sometimes without body language and tone inflections words do not convey the meaning of a statement. I try to be careful how I word things but occasionally I sound aggressive… where I mean to sound … intensely interested. It goes both ways I have read a post wrong many times. Often it is just the nature of the communication. Butch

MHOO314 -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 4:52:32 PM)
Because one's upmanship is key to the world's survival---the last one with the toys wins--so they say--so I hope that your distaste for labels extends to "Jew" "Gentile" " Arab", "Hispanic", "Democrat", etc etc etc. and that it is not just of this life, but the life that really matters.

Switchsubcouple -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 5:07:31 PM)
i have found people on this board to be intelligent, some polite, some are mean, some label and such but to me about 90 percent of the people here say what they really think so to me they are adult and just being who they are.

AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 5:17:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressPurpleFL Also why do we need to place "LABELS" on one another? Can't we just be what we ARE? Sometimes the posting or saying of a particular word or label gets everyone riled up. This isn't uncommon on any message board regarding any subject. Labels are a mental shorthand, trying to over-simplify a complex concept. In vanilla boards you'll see the same sort of thing...especially the ones dealing in political issues. No one person can ever be accurately summed up in a single word, but that is exactly what labelers try to do. I agree that, given our mutual interests in BDSM and D/s are generally mis-labeled as "deviant" by general society, we of all people should be sensitive about labels and how deceiving they can be. But it isn't so, and I guess we just have to develop a sense of humor about that. I think the most important feature on this site to me is the button to link me to all of a member's message board posts. Those posts are very often more revealing than the member's profile is.

murmur -> RE: CURIOUS AS TO WHY (10/6/2007 5:20:48 PM)
You cant judge someone. Judging is putting a quality to something that is already fixed and that cant be changed. People are always changing. Therefore, they arent something to put a label on. The last thing on earth to do to a human being. Labels are stupid. As the people who put them on other people. They does so because it comforts them to know or to think they know they have found the real truth about someone. They are so wrong.

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