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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 6:38:23 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		Make the effort to have everything you want. If you end up not being able to do it all, at the very least you can't say it was due to your own lack of effort.

"You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..."
-Stones

-DR

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 6:40:58 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Maybe you're confusing *settling* with *accepting*.
 
Maybe so..


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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 6:44:36 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Something to keep in mind is that if you settle, you take yourself off the 'market' should someone come along who would offer a better fit.

Right now for me there is no better fit relationship wise than Sir. I don't have the time to commit my self to a 24/7 type of thing.
 
Right now for me there is no better fit career wise as i have the time to concentrate on my career, and not worry about ruining my relationship through not having enough time to concentrate on it.
 
I'm not off the market but neither am i really in it.
 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 6:49:21 AM   
missturbation


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocRudy

"You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..."
-Stones

-DR


I like

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to DocRudy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:02:51 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Sounds like a contradiction in terms.

There is no "settling" if you "have it all".

I'm not so sure it is a contradiction.
With the life choices i have made that have brought me to where i am, i see it as i have it all. All that i can have for my choices, if that makes sense.
I also see it that i have had to compromise in some areas, had to settle to a certain degree.


Yes, it does make sense.

But all of us have "all that I can have for my choices".

And I suggest most, if not all of us had to make compromises and settle to some degree because of those choices.

Thus, we don't have all we want or all we wished for.

I think for a lot of people the question "do I have it all" transforms into "do I have enough to be happy". Its a result of weeding the wish list and removing some of the "nice to haves" so that we focus more on the "must haves". That might be characterized as "compromise/settling".

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When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:05:38 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I think for a lot of people the question "do I have it all" transforms into "do I have enough to be happy". Its a result of weeding the wish list and removing some of the "nice to haves" so that we focus more on the "must haves". That might be characterized as "compromise/settling".

I agree my wants are not necessarily must haves. I think i have my must haves for now..............

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:06:04 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocRudy

"You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..."
-Stones

-DR


I like


I hate to bring you down, but as I recall the line:

"...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need..."

Some of us are still looking, after all

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:10:36 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Something to keep in mind is that if you settle, you take yourself off the 'market' should someone come along who would offer a better fit.

Right now for me there is no better fit relationship wise than Sir. I don't have the time to commit my self to a 24/7 type of thing.
 
Right now for me there is no better fit career wise as i have the time to concentrate on my career, and not worry about ruining my relationship through not having enough time to concentrate on it.
 
I'm not off the market but neither am i really in it.
 


I wonder at the emphasis on the words "right now".

Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life?


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:12:40 AM   
caught4u


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Joined: 5/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I guess however much i thought i was ready to make compromises in certain areas of my life to fulfill others, i just hadn't realised how hard the reality may be.


Compromise is a necessity.  If there is an area of your life you feel is lacking, empower yourself to make changes to improve that area.  Just keep yourself flexible and you will be suprised by what may fall into place.  Part of the beauty of living is not knowing what will happen.  The key is to be open to receive all, not neccessarily to chase after everything. 

Example:  You are opening a pub and you are going over your books when a vendor walks in who happens to be very intriqued with you. You can either be so focused on your business that he walks in and out of your life with no notice from you (not being open) or you can acknowledge his intrest (being receptive) and possibly starting a fulfilling relationship.

It can be both ways.  A person can be so intent on finding their love, they lose sight of a fulfilling career.  Evaluate what you want most and work toward those goals, but be receptive to the unknown things that life can bring.  Personally  if I had everything right now, what would my goals be then?  If I had my life planned and laid out for me what fun would that be?  So I don't have certain things right now. That doesn't mean i will never have them.  Make the most of what you do have now and don't stress about what you don't have.



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~owned by Master of Wind~

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:12:44 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I don't see compromise as settling.  To me, settling is long term - compromise is something you do in the moment and every moment changes as does the compromise.

And like Celeste said, you can't have everything at the same time.  Sometimes, that does happen, but it's so rare it's almost extinct!
For me, things come in stages - sometimes because they just happen and sometimes because I have worked at it.  If you try and get everything you want and need at once, you may burn yourself out and then you don't get to enjoy it all and even miss that you even have it.  I always think of it as if I have all that I would desire now, where would that leave my future?  What is there to look forward to?  I don't believe you are settling, but living in the moment with the view to future.  You know what will make you happy, so don't give up on that, but you are fully aware that there are things that make you fulfilled and comfortable in the now (like your relationship) - so just go with it - you are self aware so you are already way ahead of  many.
 
Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo...
 
Peace
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/2/2007 7:13:18 AM >

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:14:22 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Probably one of the most important things you can do is to recognize when a new opportunity presents itself in front of you.  Keeping options and eyes open makes one very aware of all the different things they experience everyday.  What won't work for you today may be just what you want and need five months from now, but only if you allow yourself to see it and go for it.

edited to add....I think it's very possible to have it all, but most need to be flexible in terms of realizing that "all" may be packaged slightly differently than they ever imagined.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 10/2/2007 7:19:43 AM >

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:17:20 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I hate to bring you down, but as I recall the line:

"...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need..."

Some of us are still looking, after all


In all but the first verse, IIRC, haha.

Either way, I stand by my point, lyrical discrepancies aside.

-DR

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:19:58 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life?

Yep.
I don't like to think i'm in the doldrums though, i like to call it flooping

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:21:44 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo
 
It made sense to me thank you
I now have images though of me sat in a rocking chair in my old age pissing my pants and rocking lol. Amazing how my mind works sometimes lol.
Oh and you rock too and not in the pissy pants way

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:29:55 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life?

Yep.
I don't like to think i'm in the doldrums though, i like to call it flooping


"Flooping" it is, then.

In line with the above, you might be experiencing competing emotions:

"Oh Boy! I get to do this!"

and

"Oh God! How long do I have to do this before I get what I really want?"

When faced with a lengthy process requiring much patience, I find focusing on the next step helps.

If I start looking at all the steps required, it can be discouraging.

But if I've developed a plan, laid down the steps, and understand what results I need from each step to go on to the next one, the process becomes digestable.

Its the difference between focusing on all the bricks needed to make a house, and focusing on the next brick to be set in place according to the plan.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 7:54:50 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		hummm wanting it all. Is iT possible I think so.  I do know you have to look inward.  for example look at all the things you can offer to someone. when you find someone look at all the things they bring to the table.  to get to know someone takes time. sure you have the spark and honey period that is normal. but with in that first six months.
you should know if its a end all be all relationship. Also understand it takes work. You can settle if both people are going to put a 100  percent of them into it. 

      So many relationships in this lifestyle that i have found talking with people and being around. is that They have one foot out the door. Like and escape plan.  Understand personality types this is very important  For example i use the stress gage  How well someone deals with stress ( do they anger quickly.  Do they make up stories to cover for mistakes. do they own up to responsibility.)  also When I look at people for  that I will settle for. I compare them to people who have those ideas and abilities to settle. I use role models that have my same ideas and believes   People who are in long term marriages or long term BDSM couples .  Think of it like making a car, the design may differer but the concept of building one stays the same ( idea .drawing board , test models , production. )

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 8:03:01 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Aileen68,
The new pics make following the topic hard to do
LordVelvet

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RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 8:59:26 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

Aileen68,
The new pics make following the topic hard to do
LordVelvet


Good grief, that is exactly what I was thinking.........

Now I have to go collect my thoughts again before I can post anything pertaining to the subject at hand.....

muttering.....damned beotch anyway....

**MISST.........I promise I will be back and post on topic......(after I go have some quality "alone" time or something....)


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 9:29:35 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Ack!  Eek!  lol.
Thanks

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Having it all !! - 10/2/2007 9:59:38 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo
 
It made sense to me thank you
I now have images though of me sat in a rocking chair in my old age pissing my pants and rocking lol. Amazing how my mind works sometimes lol.
Oh and you rock too and not in the pissy pants way


Haha... I must just add that diaper fetish isn't something we plan to get into... but the visual image made me giggle...
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 40
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