quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OP, what you're not seeing is the difference between the amount of control the domme took on day one, versus how much control she has ten years in. Because nobody in their right mind hands over that kind of control until it's earned. We're four and a half years in and he's still in the process of taking control. Or possibly, I am still in the process of handing it over.

He doesn't interfere in areas I flourish in because there's no need to. In areas I don't handle well, he does take over. But he doesn't demand control, he takes it as it needs to be done. Find yourself a dominant who respects a sub that is in great control of their career, and she won't interfere with it. If you get fired every six months then she will.

Plus some subs know themselves to not handle their lives all that well so they look for dominants who will take more control. And some dommes enjoy this so they seek out subs in need of such control.

I had this discussion years ago with a domme who called herself a trainer. She sought out subs who didn't know decent table manners, how to dress professionally, etc. She wouldn't take on a sub who already exceeded her in these areas because that didn't do it for her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Greetings Muttling.. i am a sub to that has my own issues as trusting the Domme that would take control of my life. It sounds that thats your problem of trust. Most Dominants like in most relationships wont try to make you there property from the start. It takes time to get to know each other and learn each others needs. i am courting at the moment with a very lovely Lady who i am privileged to say She is teaching me online Her ways and needs and how Her life runs. Both parties require some time before they settle in there roles. But i would prefer as a submissive to be owned entirely by the Domme who decides to take me. Only then i will feel my mission has been accomplished and my reason to be alive will be answered.

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ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Greetings Muttling.. i am a sub to that has my own issues as trusting the Domme that would take control of my life. It sounds that thats your problem of trust. Most Dominants like in most relationships wont try to make you there property from the start. It takes time to get to know each other and learn each others needs. i am courting at the moment with a very lovely Lady who i am privileged to say She is teaching me online Her ways and needs and how Her life runs. Both parties require some time before they settle in there roles. But i would prefer as a submissive to be owned entirely by the Domme who decides to take me. Only then i will feel my mission has been accomplished and my reason to be alive will be answered.

It's really not a matter of trust, it's a matter of what I feel are my boundaries in a relationship.  I take responsibility for my actions and I would welcome questions like "do you really want to do that?" just a I would as a partner the same.

I really do enjoy many aspects of kink, but I see myself about 2 steps shy of being a lifestyler.

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ORIGINAL: InkedMaster

Well lets see, Dominant, Top, Sadist, Daddy, Switch, slave, submissive, bottom, cumguzzler and a host of others. Did I mention cumguzzler? Anyway, all descriptive words, all with thier own meaning and conatations and our own perceptions of what we believe those terms to mean to us. People seemingly get caught up in labeling and to a point I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I mean if one is a male hedonistic bottom with submissive views and slave tendencies who desires to Top a Sadistic Domme thats a Switch who's a submissive cumguzzler only to Her Master but an Alpha to everyone else, from the bottom...Holy Shit my head hurts!, but you get the picture, we're just people, different, but still people and we want what we want. Is there someone out there for us that will meet all our needs, desires and cravings? Damn skippy there is!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
See, not only is this funny, but I wish more people saw it this way; it would make searching and meeting someone far easier than trying to explain where you fall on the BDSM grid that someone set up. I just had a chat about this with someone who said, you sound like a perfect slave, girl. I said, Hello? where in my profile did I identify as a slave? He said what are you then? I said (to fuck with him) I am a supreme Alpha femme submissive who was a total sex slave to one man, but usually a smart ass sub to others who wants an equal partnership outside of the bedroom but wants to be treated like a total whore inside.

He said, I am perplexed by an Alpha female, how can you be TRULY submissive?

Enough said?