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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 6:53:18 PM

mnottertail

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would have loved to have said it that way, Archie. You state things with a clarity I will never hope to possess.

Sincerely,
Ron

But do you possess the ability to not shorten someone's name????

grin

Not contracturally, as yet. I hope to be owned in that way, someday--

Ron

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 7:03:38 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Other than Archers sound reasoning..and proudsubs contribution from tophat..all I can add is that you always make sure that your definition of something is the same as his..sometimes you can communicate or think you are communicating well..but each may have a differing definition of the same subject and both may assume that your idea of whatever is the same..never assume...Tempting

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 7:08:18 PM

mnottertail

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talking makes more sense than talking about not talking

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 7:16:59 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I have long advocated the idea that the value of the contract is in the process of negotiating it's content. The final document while climactic is really far less valuable than all the communication that happens while figuring out what you want to put into it.

The only thing I would like to add is that I personally find them valuable because they help me to not forget things.

Dominants arent perfect and being able to sit down and clearly structure the details of a relationship in a clearly linear fashion is invaluable.

There can be a lot of...

"Okay, this is a rule now."
"No wait, I thought we were goign to do it this way..."
"I thought you said this..."
"No, I didnt say this. I said that."
"Did I say that? I cant remember."

Its amazing how when your trying to lay out and define clear structure for how the gears of a relationship are going to turn, the use of only the mind and memory can result in a lot of jumbling up.

But then again...my life dissolves into chaos and anarchy in the vice grips of unaccomplishment when I dont sit down and make a list of all my chores and things I need to get accomplished for the day.

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 7:19:33 PM

twistedkytten

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We don't have a contract.. it is always my feeling .. I dont need a piece of paper to tell me who I am or where I belong, it is I suppose a nice gesture. Any contract is only as good as the two people that signed it.

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 7:39:47 PM

natureschild

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A contract seems like just another way to bring up an akward subject. Like your limits, fears...and such. Only your talking to the paper, about what goes on the paper. Not to the person and the other person.

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 8:10:38 PM

TNstepsout

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would have loved to have said it that way, Archie. You state things with a clarity I will never hope to possess.

Sincerely,
Ron

hmmmm strangely I have always found you to be quite clear.

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 9:03:31 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I have long advocated the idea that the value of the contract is in the process of negotiating it's content.

This is my view too. It's good time to lay out what's important to you. Things like what happens if the female gets pregnant, ideas of poly or monogamy, what items in life are off limits (like family, jobs, personal beliefs).

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RE: Question on Contracts... - 9/21/2007 10:18:48 PM

Archer

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Rather than speaking to the paper, I much prefer the image of two people (or more) talking about the piece of paper.

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Post #: 29