GoddessDustyGold
Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
|
<fast reply>
*Sigh* I have to admit that I get really tired of seeing these types of threads and the typical responses. Yes, there may be red flags. But why they are red flags is more to the point, as far as I am concerned.
So My first question to you is why would you even consider going to a Dominant(s) that need your income to financially make it? If they need your income to pay their personal bills, that is a problem. If they are considering the combined incomes and how that impacts the ability to pay higher living expenses because they are increasing the size of their household, that is another thing entirely. Use your head, instead of coming to the message boards to ask such a silly question, when you already know the answer, or you have already made up your mind. More questions to think about at the end of My response.
I will answer as to how I look at things from the fact that I seek the M/s relationship with one or more "slaves", and how that impacts a household economically.
When I had "j", he had a fairly large credit card balance, a car payment, car insurance, a personal loan for dental work and school tuition. He also had a death in the family very shorly after the move, and I permitted him to charge additional monies, increasing that credit card balance even more, in order to purchase a plane ticket and rent a car to get to the funeral. So, I did, in fact, crunch the numbers, before I made other decisions and accepted him as My boy. When all was said and done, there was not that much left over to go to the "household" per se. He was able to live on an extremely tight budget in a small, one bedrooom apartment. The fact that he had to take out a loan to pay for dental work and had a reasonably large credit card bill is indication enough that he was having his own issues in making it.
I took a house on a lease purchase plan that had a much higher rent. This would accomodate Myself, and the two boys, including "j", as well as a couple of others who were being considered as potential additions to the household. I took on more rent, higher utilities, a larger grocery bill, and added the responsibility for "j's" bills to the household budget. Yes, I had to crunch the numbers. His bills were always paid, on time, his tuition was up to date (just a few days prior , in fact) when he came to Me and asked for a renegotiation of his contract. My contract clearly states that all monies come to Me. In spite of all My efforts and the fact that his bills had been paid, he couldn't let go of the fact that he no longer maintained control over his own income. He questioned where the money was going. I should not have to show the budget to a "slave". I do not spend the day on ebay buying trinkets, nor do I even watch the home shopping shows. I am very prudent with money. When I told him this was not renegotiable, he asked for release, which I gladly granted.
So who was stuck with the lease, lost the option money, had the larger utility bills, etc? Me!
If I was independently wealthy, already had a lovely home and lots of room for slaves, I suppose it wouldn't matter as much. But when I make arrangements to alter My life to accomodate a lifestyle I prefer (and I do not mean living high off the hog...I mean M/s), then it is time to crunch the numbers and figure out what will work the best for all considered. And as the Dominant, it is up to Me to determine what those numbers need to crunch at, and how that combined incomes may impact our day to day lifestyle.
Frankly, I will not consider anyone who is still in school. So that answers that question right there. I am all for education, but if you are still in that stage of life, then you are not the slave for Me. By the same token, I very well might, and have considered in the past, if the budget allows, that I would send a slave to classes to learn certain things that will educate him or her further as to providing certain services. It might be massage therapy, or workshops to learn certain other skills such as cooking, manicures, pedicures, aromatherpay, reflexology. Or perhaps there is some continuing education that will increase the slave's knowledge and provide for better opportunities in his/her current workplace/job. These are all My decisions. Get to know your Dominant. It is your responsiiblity to figure out if the One you are considering is one that is in sync with your personal needs (needs, not wants) and you are on the same moral ground in other areas. If you don't trust, you cannot let go of the personal authority/autonomy and allow the relationship to fourish in the manner intended.
I consider that money = power = automony. I make the decisions regarding all financial matters. Some will be put aside for the slave, but s/he no longer has the authority to make decisions regarding going shopping and choosing their favorite expensive cologne or their preferred toothpaste or their designer haircut and Italian leather shoes. Yes, these are all things I have personally experienced in the ongoing power struggles that occur even in the beginning of potential relationships. These are all things I look for, quite frankly. If one continues to have that sort of freedom, then how does that make one a slave, in every sense of the word?
Forgive Me that I have no patience for the "pay my share of the bills" scenario. That gives Me a roomate with benefits. Not a slave.
For those who prefer a more loosely base D/s or M/s style of relationship, it may work for you, and that is fine. But for Me...I am a purist...I take it all the way. If that is not your cup of tea, then neither am I. I can only be honest, in My profile and in My correspondence. I do not need the many who want to slide into My life and lower their personal living expenses while enjoying the weekly (or however often) <insert your favorite BDSM activity here>. I do not look at how much one is earning or has in income to make a decision, but what financial obligations come with that, and how that impacts My ability to provide the appropriate living conditions does.
Here are My questions to the OP. Are you trying to slide into their already exisiting household without being able to really pay anything towards living expenses? If you are on disability and you are also in school, how much of your income goes to paying for school? How much time do you need for school and homework, study groups, special projects, etc? What other bills come with you? Credit cards? Car Payment? Car Insurance? How much time do you have left over for actual service in the household? It may seem dispassionate and cold, but these are all things that need to be considered when making such an important decision. It can't all be love and flowers. I am , perhaps unfortunately, a very practical person.
BTW, I am aware that if you are on SSDI, you can have a job that supplements that income. Under the table, or not, you are permitted to earn up to approximately $25,000 per year without any penalty to your benefit. Under the table, as far as I am concerned, only avoids the auto deduction of income taxes, which can increase your net additional income for less hours worked. I have no love of the IRS and /or our huge and wasteful government, so I would not immediately jump all over someone for working "under the table" But then I consider income tax to be illegal anyway. *W* That said, "working under the table" is not something I would encourage or request or demand, but it is not a huge moral problem for Me either.
These questions to the OP are somewhat rhetorical and I do not expect private matters to be revealed on a public message board. But they might provide a little food for thought.
Do we really know the whole situation here, folks?
**Edited for My usual dyslexic typos, but I might have missed some!
< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/20/2007 1:44:06 PM >
_____________________________
Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom
|
RE: just a q thats been bothering me... - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread