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On Honesty - 9/16/2007 12:23:03 AM

RRafe

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Tough one.

Can you be honest enough with yourself-and see who you are.

Rather than an ideal of who you are?

So that you can be honest with others?

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 12:36:37 AM

Damocles809

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Yup.

I've got flaws. But I'm still the shit.

That wasn't so tough.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 12:40:31 AM

laurell3

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Lol good one....

Introspection takes time and work, we all have things we don't see or aren't ready to see about ourselves. Am I honest to the extent I can be, yes.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 1:16:27 AM

Damocles809

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Introspection takes time and work,...

Bah! Pfft! Pshaw! Bullhonkery!

Coming up with plausible lies to rationalize our flaws is what takes time and work.

The reason we come up with those excuses in the first place is because we already know what our problems are in the first place.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 1:20:42 AM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Introspection takes time and work,...

Bah! Pfft! Pshaw! Bullhonkery!

Coming up with plausible lies to rationalize our flaws is what takes time and work.

The reason we come up with those excuses in the first place is because we already know what our problems are in the first place.

LOL you crack me up.

Honestly I find my own self image isn't inflated, it's under-inflated, and I dont mean I don't have self-esteem, I mean I worry alot about whether what I do is right or not. But as with all people I'm sure there are things I can't see....WHAT ARE THEY? TELL ME NOW!!!!! :P

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 1:23:51 AM

MissMagnolia

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Bullhonkery??? Pshaw I can deal with, but bullhonkery? Do we really need that kind of language? There are ladies present (well me anyway

).

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 1:24:14 AM

Damocles809

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Honestly I find my own self image isn't inflated, it's under-inflated...

Under-inflated self esteem? Well that's odd, considering all you people are all figments of my imagination.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 1:47:51 AM

Damocles809

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Bullhonkery??? Pshaw I can deal with, but bullhonkery? Do we really need that kind of language? There are ladies present (well me anyway).

I dare say, it's hogwash! That's right, I went there.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 2:46:38 AM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Bullhonkery??? Pshaw I can deal with, but bullhonkery? Do we really need that kind of language? There are ladies present (well me anyway).

I dare say, it's hogwash! That's right, I went there.

oh dragonsnot.

kitten, who giggles

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 3:14:42 AM

Babybass

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Tough one.

Can you be honest enough with yourself-and see who you are.

Rather than an ideal of who you are?

So that you can be honest with others?

Yes!!!

Being honest with yourself is hard work - you need to be willing to accept your deepest flaws. Being completely honest with someone else requires a big dose of bravery!!!

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"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting" - e e cummings

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 4:26:52 AM

Aileen68

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Damocles809

Yup.

I've got flaws. But I'm still the shit.

That wasn't so tough.

Ditto.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:09:32 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Tough one.

Can you be honest enough with yourself-and see who you are.

Rather than an ideal of who you are?

So that you can be honest with others?

*disclaimer this may not be true*
WE can't be honest with ourselves....even when we think we are it is an illusion.
We always, by the naure of staying conscious and sane, hide aspects of our psyche from ourself, compartmentalise our minds and parts of ourselves to get the work of everyday done. We can't be conscious of our body in its entirety all of the time. At the somatic level we are conscious of where we are sensate only....our mouths/bellies when we are hungry, our genitalia when we are aroused, a phantom limb even when it is removed.
We can't be aware of ourselves: that's why we employ doctors, and therapists and masseurs, plastic surgeons, sages, philosophers, lovers, dominants and submissives, and sometimes an omnipotent and omnipresent God to be aware for us.....or whatever Higher Being floats your higher self.

It's both fun and pain getting to know who we are in order to be honest with others. But it's much more fun to CREATE.
Give me lace, leather, lipstick and a silk scarf binding my wrists and I will be as honest as you need me to be. *disclaimer: this may not be true*

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:28:54 AM

LaMistressa

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It's tough.

Sometimes, I tell myself "I can still fit into these jeans and not have my ass look fat", and I'm know I'm fooling myself.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:42:51 AM

murmur

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMistressa

It's tough.

Sometimes, I tell myself "I can still fit into these jeans and not have my ass look fat", and I'm know I'm fooling myself.

weird how that seems to be an universal thing...

To the OP, at 21 i am aware that i dont know myself completely. I'll not have the same insight on life that i have now that when i'll get 40 or when i'll see myself as a mother or a grand-mother, etc. Personnality is always something in motion, but knowing the core of yourself the best that you can is always a good start.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:50:37 AM

Cyntilating

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Tough one.

Can you be honest enough with yourself-and see who you are.

Rather than an ideal of who you are?

So that you can be honest with others?

...took me almost 40 years before I began doing this...
   ( really being honest with myself about myself..truly looked into "me" and wanted to see the truth)

..interestingly enough, that is about the time when I began to finally love myself....perhaps because I could embrace someone who actually existed...flaws and all.

...there is still more honesty for me to find..and work for me to do.

when I think about pointing the finger at someone, I remember there are 3 pointing right back at me....   this helped me get honest with myself..
I have a part and responsibility to/in everything that happens in my life...

here's some honesty I deal with even today>
there are people(3) in my life I cannot yet be completely honest with. I consider myself "an honest person"   but when dealing with these particular people>   I find an illusion of myself still in place rather than let them see me...
    I tell myself> they are hurtful people. They would not appreciate my honesty and would most likely try to take advantage of my true self.
I dont know if this is denial...or defense
it does puzzle me from time to time..I feel I am so strong in most areas of my life and in dealing with almost all the people in my life...except these 3....when confronted with them> I feel weakened and fearful and less capable......and I find myself being dishonest.

and don't know why I typed this here, but will leave it...
it may be appropriate to the topic.......if not, cast it aside.

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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:50:42 AM

eyesopened

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i am my own worst critic and if i were totally honest with myself i would see i am more lovely than i am brave enough to admit. Not sure where i got into the bad habit of downplaying my strengths and seeking out my weaknesses. i am learning to accept my good traits.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:52:24 AM

julietsierra

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Perception is reality. If I perceive that I'm the best thing since sliced bread, it doesn't matter if others agree with me or not. To me, I am. If I believe I'm more worthless than the piece of lint at the back of my closet, then no matter what other people believe me to be, that's how I'll think of myself. When honestly relating who I am to someone else, I can only relate my perception of me at this moment in time. Tomorrow may be entirely different. The best I can hope for is to figure out what's consistent for me over time and relate that to the person I'm attempting to be honest with. Hopefully, he's doing the same thing and over time, we'll figure out the rest.

oh...and it's not bullhonkery...it's Ballllllderdash!!!! (doesn't that make it sound like just a fast fuck? Ball-der-dash). I like saying that word...it's fun!

juliet

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:56:39 AM

TNstepsout

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I do my best. Sometimes I'm wrong and sometimes I'm not ready to hear the truth. Eventually I get around to it. I'm a work in progress. I think that's the most any of us can say.

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 5:57:01 AM

SirDraco7

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Tough one.

Can you be honest enough with yourself-and see who you are.

Rather than an ideal of who you are?

So that you can be honest with others?

Not Tough. :)

Yes, Yes, Yes.

I know who I am, I have learned and grown who I am and I am not ashamed of who I am. :)

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RE: On Honesty - 9/16/2007 6:03:25 AM

Littlepita

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I am as honest with myself as I can be, but there is always room for improvement.

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“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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