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RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 5:34:19 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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I would say i agree with you that play is spontaneous. To me a scene is something planned, or orchestrated.

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 21

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 6:22:07 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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I guess I use the word play more than scene, though I do use 'play' as a euphemism for intimacy and intimacy as a euphemism for sex. (You can't have enough euphemisms) So, play is could mean a range of things ranging from straight sm to a hot kinky couple of hours. I don't really use the word 'scene' much because it sounds really formal, and I suck at negotiating. Sometimes He 'sessions' me, meaning he sends me upstairs then follows a minute or two afterwards, and does his thing. A session is more sm oriented, and I'm more passive.

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(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 22

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:39:29 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
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Thank you all for your responses, I did not think my first post would rouse this much interest. Credit of course goes to nymph for asking the original question that got all this started.

So I have another question, does anyone who has responded consider themselves part of the old leather guard community? Its been quite enjoyable reading all your views, but I’d really like to hear what the old school, set ins tone definition is…. If such a thing exists.
M. Shibari

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 23

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:44:42 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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For me i dont play, i dont scene.
For me i'm not playing a game and im not acting in a scene so the words just don't fit for me.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 24

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:49:44 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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do you get beat on too?

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(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 25

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:54:27 PM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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I would definitely say i am serious about my commitment and submission to my Master....although i do use the words "play" and "scene" i just don't think that makes me less serious or committed.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 26

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:56:55 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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My apologies if i offended - its just my personal view of the words play and scene.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 27

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 7:59:39 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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Its all good....

i was just expressing my opinion about your opinion..

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 28

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 8:25:38 PM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
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I'm quite impressed by the level of maturity expressed here on these forums. After the chat rooms, I was quite worried.

M. Shibari

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 29

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/13/2007 8:50:17 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

chat rooms are treacherous anywhere...

the boards are usually a little more mature...
they get bad sometimes too... when CERTAIN people come around...

glad i pursuaded you to come out here and join in the fun...

only problem is, now everyone's gonna know how fantastic you are...
shoot

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 30

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 4:16:09 AM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Amazing - as beth and I lay panting (hey - I'm 51!) last night I asked her; "did we just 'scene', 'play', have sex? Maybe you can tell us.

We were watching the Yankees win again (GREAT because on the west coast it was still not yet 8:00), beth kneeling naked at my feet after just completing my weekly manicure. As a reward, I told her to get up on all fours and began spanking her. I liked the shade of pink her ass was turning but wanted to to increase the sensation so I reached for my small slapper and miniature crop I keep in my nightstand. Being in a good mood with the Yankee victory, and a generous giving Master in general, I allowed beth to periodically hump my leg during the process and gave her permission to cum a few times. After some length of time my pet's ass went from a pink 'medium rare' shade to a more red 'raw' and I got to thinking that there is nothing like a nice hot ass against your balls when you fuck from behind. I had her lay over the bed and enjoyed the ride, getting sadistic enjoyment of now NOT allowing her to cum during the process of sex and ongoing periodic spanking to keep the seat warm.

After some time of that going on, I realized I hadn't relieved myself since about the 6th inning and needed to take care of that. I had her crawl to our tub and beg for permission to "flush" which is how I refer to cumming when using my pet as a toilet. Once relieved she sought to serve as Master's cum receptacle, and again being the generous Master - I fulfilled her desire.

So what was it, play, scene, or just another Wednesday night at 'Merc & beth's'?

I myself would call that life/play with the one you own ..........

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 31

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 4:33:22 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
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Sometimes we get so hung up on words that I laugh when I think of someone trying to learn English as a second language reading these boards. Play, scene, tis all good.

Hey, I want to hear about a weekend at Merc and Beth's.

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 9/14/2007 4:34:10 AM >

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 32

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 6:53:20 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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I don't consider the two terms "play" and "scene" to be mutually exclusive, nor do I consider them equivalent.

To me, "play" is a generic term that can refer to virtually any BDSM activity, although that doesn't mean that any BDSM activity is play. It depends on the mindset of the people involved. If participants are role-playing, I'd call it play. If the activity (for lack of a better word) is designed to be fun and pleasurable for both (or should I say all) participants, I'd say it's play. It can be spontaneous, or it can be planned.

If the activity's objective is not fun for all, but something very different, then I'd say it's not play. For example, I wouldn't usually consider punishment in a real 24/7 relationship to be "play". Likewise, a dominant training a sub to accept something new that the sub hasn't wanted to do in the past; or a sub being seriously trained in the performance of expected duties, might not be play. But it could be, if both parties view it that way.

The word "scene" does imply a little more formality, but I don't believe negotiation or a contract are necessary to call something a scene. I think it is usually planned, and often negotiated, but it could happen spontaneously. To me, the main requirement for a scene is easily identified starting and ending points. A scene can involve play, or be entirely play. Or not.

In a similar vein, I'd like to know what people think about the word "session". Is it limited to professional domination, in your opinion? I think it's used most often by pros, but there's no reason that non-pros couldn't use the term more or less interchangeably with "scene".

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 9/14/2007 6:54:09 AM >

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 33

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 10:13:59 AM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
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I also think its important to remember that every person has their own personal definition of what these words mean to them. As much as some try and enforce uniformity among terminology, the times are changing, are I beleive a more fluid sort of lifestylist is emerging. More open to new ideas and concepts.

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 34

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 11:54:29 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

What Merc & Celeste described was my Saturday, followed up with watching "The History of the World Part 1" on TV while laying in bed and laughing our asses off while my head was still spinning.

To answer the OP, we don't really call it either. He uses me when he feels like it and how he feels like it, and I eagerly jump to it every time. Sometimes he plays with me, as he enjoys teasing me and toying with me for his amusement. I've referred to myself as his yo-yo before, for the fun he has turning my orgasms on and off as if controlled by a light switch. But I usually just say I'm serving him in however means he wants to be served.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 35

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 1:10:43 PM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

Play is what happens during a scene. A scene is a sequence of play.

In bdsm, scenes don't really happen apart from play. Whatever happens inside a scene is described as play.

In bdsm, bdsm play doesn't really happen apart from scenes. An impromptu play session is still a scene. And a casual play session is also still called a scene. While we talk about there being more formality involved, the formality is often distilled down to implicit consent, which may appear outwardly to be no formality whatsoever.

This said, there are entire subcultures in bdsm who believe that what they do isn't play at all. Or that what they do specifically and emphatically lacks "scenes". While I can understand that some people view their relationships alone as constituting bdsm a priori, I tend to disagree. I believe that bdsm is about behavior.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 36

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/14/2007 4:49:21 PM

MasterShibari

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Joined: 5/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teamnoir

Play is what happens during a scene. A scene is a sequence of play.

I could see from an emotional standpoint why you would want the two to be one and the same....

but doesn't it make things easier to have some definitions.

So much of BDSM, at least in the early stages, relies on communication, why not have easy definitions rather than clumping it all together as one thing?

M. Shibari

(in reply to teamnoir)

Post #: 37

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/15/2007 1:02:32 PM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: teamnoir

Play is what happens during a scene. A scene is a sequence of play.

I could see from an emotional standpoint why you would want the two to be one and the same....

but doesn't it make things easier to have some definitions.

So much of BDSM, at least in the early stages, relies on communication, why not have easy definitions rather than clumping it all together as one thing?

M. Shibari

It's not one thing. Play is the behavior. Scene is the context around the play.

For something to have meaning, there needs to be a context and an event. An event alone has no meaning. Nor does a context alone.

In that model, the play is the event and the scene is the context which sets the meaning for the play.

Casual toy tasting at a party is a type of play. The fact that it's "casual" and a "tasting" sets the scene, the context for the strike, which is the play.

I tend to use a fairly wide definition for both "play" and "scene" because I think the concepts are generally useful. Many people seem to think that certain rules only apply when they are "in scene" whereas I believe that those rules apply pretty much universally. So I tend to make a point of stretching the word "scene" to describe pretty much any instance of play precisely for those reasons.

The alternative is to say that, for instance, safewords and consent are only necessary during a scene and since my punching you in the face just now was only play, not a scene, consent wasn't required. I think you can see the fallacy here.

The words I suspect you're looking for are the distinction between a formal or explicitly structured scene and an informal or implicitly structured scene. I think it's useful to refer to them both as scenes, only with different styles of communications being used to structure them. This leads people who weren't aware that they were in a scene to examine how the implicit structures might have been created and thus how to restructure or renegotiate even if those activities take place on an implicit or nonverbal level.

To describe informal or implicitly structured scenes as not scenes at all seems to me to grossly complicate the issues involved because it suggests a lack of structure. And in my opinion, if there is a lack of structure, or a lack of context then it isn't even clear that my striking you is necessarily play. Outside the structure of a scene, that act might not be play at all. It might simply be assault.

What advantage do you see for your semantics?

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 38

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/15/2007 1:10:38 PM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

For me i dont play, i dont scene.
For me i'm not playing a game and im not acting in a scene so the words just don't fit for me.

You're not alone in this, btw. A lot of people exploring m/s or tpe feel this way. They think that what they are doing isn't play or acting but rather is "real" in some way that the rest of us don't see.

Frankly, I do see that perspective. I just don't care for it. From where I sit, there is no slavery in any of the western world, so to believe that what an m/s couple is doing is "real", you first have to buy that the m/s arrangement is "real" rather than a role play. And I'm sorry, but I don't. Western society simply doesn't support slavery. If a "slave" seeks help from outside the relationship, they'll get it, even to the point of help leaving the relationship. And in many cases, society will chastise the "master" in such a situation. For slavery to be "real" in my mind, that choice would need to be removed.

And that choice is removed in many places in the world today, including much of Islam. I just don't see M/s as being the same thing.

For me, play is very real. It's as real as dreams, plans, meditation, prayer, magick, or any other mechanism for constructing reality, ie, spirituality.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 39

RE: The difference between play, and doing a scene: - 9/15/2007 1:13:39 PM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

I'm quite impressed by the level of maturity expressed here on these forums. After the chat rooms, I was quite worried.

M. Shibari

Boards offer the opportunity to be read by a much larger audience. This makes it more worthwhile to compose one's thoughts carefully and to speak clearly.

Chat rooms are ephemeral. Small audience, and the words die away almost immediately. It's generally pointless to even attempt to have a long or deep conversation in them.

There are exceptions, of course, just as there are board threads which are entirely fluff. But as a general rule, boards tend to be more mature.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 40

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