The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (Full Version)

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Perplex -> The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:38:47 AM)

This is to the doms...you know who you are, stand up let the crowd see you... :)

You have found a sub who really wants to be broken (define in any of the ways it can be, but at the end of the session they want to be near hospitalization (physically, mentally, emotionally).  They have made it clear to your satisfaction they are both sane and understanding what it is they are asking you to do.

Would you in your "professional" judgement do it, could you honestly do it, do you personally have the sand to push someone too far on purpose (its a big question, if you're not anti-social, to understand could you if you decided to, you'd be amazed by the % of people who couldn't)
**(it's like combat, since they have been keeping count in every war only about 15% of fully trained green recruits actually aim at the enemy trying to get a kill, the rest fire in the air or otherwise miss intentionally, so the could question is germaine)**




mnottertail -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:42:59 AM)

sure.

Ron




TotalState -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:45:04 AM)

Nope.  Hard limit.




chellekitty -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:47:09 AM)

i have asked for this kind of scene, on a physical level...never found someone i trusted to do it that was willing to do it...am interested in hearing the mental process a Dominant goes through when a submissive he loves (and that is the context i am talking about specifically) asks for this kind of scene....




RRafe -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:51:01 AM)

Only if I thought I could do it without permananet harm resulting.....and there was somethiong beyond a casual benefit to it.

Other wise than that-yes I have come very close to what you talk of in the past.




RRafe -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:52:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i have asked for this kind of scene, on a physical level...never found someone i trusted to do it that was willing to do it...am interested in hearing the mental process a Dominant goes through when a submissive he loves (and that is the context i am talking about specifically) asks for this kind of scene....


I have to know her demons first. Get in touch with them, and satisfy them. So my mind undergoes a pargon shift-since they differ from the usual personna.




ArgoGeorgia -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:57:22 AM)

I could, but it couldn't be a casual thing.  I would have to know the person incredibly well and probably work up to it to test what the limits are. 




TotalState -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 8:59:43 AM)

I think that I'd take the advice from "Screw the Roses, give me the thorns" and try in stead to create a scene where the sub would *believe* that she was about to be next-to hospitalized.  Try as much as I can to make it seem real, without making it real.

I simply reject doing things that I deem as unsafe, though.  Then again, I'm not into edge play.  If my sub really wanted it, I'd consider it really hard and try to go the beforementioned way, but I'm hard pressed to explain the exact thought process, since it hasn't come up.

Hospitalizing someone is still a hard limit for me. "Near hospitalizing" is just too close for comfort.




BoiJen -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 9:04:55 AM)

Well there's the problem there "Screw the roses" isn't for someone who wants to go this far. So making the comparison doesn't work at all.

As for the edge fuck. Hell yes as a top I fuckin love it when people ask me to do that. Unfortunately for me it tends to be from bottoms who's general partners won't do it or won't let them do it because they read stuff like "Screw the roses"




RRafe -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 9:07:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Well there's the problem there "Screw the roses" isn't for someone who wants to go this far. So making the comparison doesn't work at all.

As for the edge fuck. Hell yes as a top I fuckin love it when people ask me to do that. Unfortunately for me it tends to be from bottoms who's general partners won't do it or won't let them do it because they read stuff like "Screw the roses"



Yup.

Pretty much any experienced Top can inflict massive sensory overloads without doing a lot of physical damage. It's the ones who think you have to full force whack people with boat oars that you need to be wary of.




TotalState -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 9:25:20 AM)

No, that's not a problem, because (wait for it)...I don't want to go that far.  That was my point. 

Also, I am making no comparisons in my post.  I'm merely stating how I'd react to the situation stated by the OP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Well there's the problem there "Screw the roses" isn't for someone who wants to go this far. So making the comparison doesn't work at all.




chellekitty -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 9:40:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia

I could, but it couldn't be a casual thing.  I would have to know the person incredibly well and probably work up to it to test what the limits are. 


this is what i thought would happen...and then i get the "i love you, i can't hurt you that bad" speech...then again maybe i have only asked the "Screw the Roses" Doms...

i agree RRafe, i will not go into that kind of scene with someone that does not know all my demons...i have lots of them...as we have discussed through the boards...i have done scenes with virtual strangers (that i have had references on) in public play spaces that most would consider extreme - punching, kicking, face slapping, pressure point play that had bruises blooming three days later...but that was just fun to me...i want a scene, and i guess it is more than physical...where i can be taken to a primal space, where, through the physical, all higher functioning is stripped away...but not in a destructive way...but, rather in a slow, peeling the layers away kind of way...if that makes any kind of sense?

chelle....




Dnomyar -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 9:51:14 AM)

I think it is a rare person who can safely preform this kind of play. The mental aspect of it is way to much for the typical sub/slave.




ownedgirlie -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 11:19:51 AM)

He once pushed me to the brink of mentally cracking.  But I didn't crack.  And when I didn't crack, I realized just how fucking mentally strong I really was.  That knowledge got me through a lot of shit later.

He knew I wasn't going to crack.  He knew just where my thin line was.  He knew he brought me right up to it, but not over it. 

I didn't ask for it, either.  He just did it.  It was a defining moment for us, and changed me in many positive ways.  He also did it knowing pretty much everything there was to know about my mental and emotional state - both past and present, and knowing all my buttons, and knowing how I react to pretty much anything.  And what he did was not physically painful in the slightest. 

He has the capability of destroying me.  And he could, if he wanted to.  But he doesn't want to, so he won't.  But I love that he has that much power over me.  I need him to.




Grlwithboy -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 11:21:44 AM)

No.  Make me cry, make me genuinely afraid, make me confused, make me pissed off, make me remember - sure. But I don't have confidence in my skills to land RIGHT on the margin and I'm not willing to go over it and literally have someone need to be hospitalized because I wanted to get to the margin.





ArgoGeorgia -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 11:32:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia

I could, but it couldn't be a casual thing.  I would have to know the person incredibly well and probably work up to it to test what the limits are. 


this is what i thought would happen...and then i get the "i love you, i can't hurt you that bad" speech...then again maybe i have only asked the "Screw the Roses" Doms...



Does that mean I'm a truly twisted fuck because I very well COULD do this to someone I loved?  Eh, I can live with that.




CreativeDominant -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 11:35:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Perplex

This is to the doms...you know who you are, stand up let the crowd see you... :)

You have found a sub who really wants to be broken (define in any of the ways it can be, but at the end of the session they want to be near hospitalization (physically, mentally, emotionally).  They have made it clear to your satisfaction they are both sane and understanding what it is they are asking you to do.

Would you in your "professional" judgement do it, could you honestly do it, do you personally have the sand to push someone too far on purpose (its a big question, if you're not anti-social, to understand could you if you decided to, you'd be amazed by the % of people who couldn't)
**(it's like combat, since they have been keeping count in every war only about 15% of fully trained green recruits actually aim at the enemy trying to get a kill, the rest fire in the air or otherwise miss intentionally, so the could question is germaine)**



Good question...and a hard one.  My professional ethics are strongly ingrained and I've struggled before...frequently in the beginning, much less so now...each time I upped the intensity levels of what I would do physically, mentally, emotionally to a submissive.

It took a lot of training to learn how to kill in the service.  It took a lot of training to learn how to fight to severely injure or mortally injure someone in hand to hand combat.  It took a lot of training to develop that mindset and it is a different type of mindset.  The mindset for doing the kind of damage mentioned here to a submissive would take a hell of a lot of introspection and training to go there.  And, believe it or not, that kind of mindset is not easy to pull back from.

I have to know someone to begin going more and more intense.  I have to have some idea of who that person is, what (inner demons) led them to wanting such extremes and/or to their being capable of them, want a trust in my own capabilities and their own developed, I want to know that their mind is strong enough to handle the inner demons that are released with deeper and deeper interactions.

Even with knowing all that, I have yet to take someone to the point of being "near-hospitilization" state.  As Dnomyar noted, I think it would take a rare player to be able to pull that off, especially the pulling it off with the caveat of "do no permanent harm".  As noted, that makes it tricky for me for it is a caveat I live with not just personally but professionally.




RRafe -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 11:41:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia

I could, but it couldn't be a casual thing.  I would have to know the person incredibly well and probably work up to it to test what the limits are. 


this is what i thought would happen...and then i get the "i love you, i can't hurt you that bad" speech...then again maybe i have only asked the "Screw the Roses" Doms...

i agree RRafe, i will not go into that kind of scene with someone that does not know all my demons...i have lots of them...as we have discussed through the boards...i have done scenes with virtual strangers (that i have had references on) in public play spaces that most would consider extreme - punching, kicking, face slapping, pressure point play that had bruises blooming three days later...but that was just fun to me...i want a scene, and i guess it is more than physical...where i can be taken to a primal space, where, through the physical, all higher functioning is stripped away...but not in a destructive way...but, rather in a slow, peeling the layers away kind of way...if that makes any kind of sense?

chelle....



Yes.

And I have to use a combination of reading signs, and a rather methodical and calculating way of applying that feedback to the situation. As a top-you have to be sensitive and fast on your feet to do this-and make it work.

It's not a sport for dummies.




Stallions -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 12:54:46 PM)

I don't think what would be left afterwards would be very appealing, so I'd have to say no.




HypnoticNovember -> RE: The stupid Doms how far would you really go poll. (9/12/2007 12:57:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Perplex

This is to the doms...you know who you are, stand up let the crowd see you... :)

You have found a sub who really wants to be broken (define in any of the ways it can be, but at the end of the session they want to be near hospitalization (physically, mentally, emotionally).  They have made it clear to your satisfaction they are both sane and understanding what it is they are asking you to do.

Would you in your "professional" judgement do it, could you honestly do it, do you personally have the sand to push someone too far on purpose (its a big question, if you're not anti-social, to understand could you if you decided to, you'd be amazed by the % of people who couldn't)
**(it's like combat, since they have been keeping count in every war only about 15% of fully trained green recruits actually aim at the enemy trying to get a kill, the rest fire in the air or otherwise miss intentionally, so the could question is germaine)**


The minute they say that to me, I am out the door. That submissive would never make a good partner and is already damaged mentally. I'm the type that scattered ashes never impressed. It's far harder to keep mental and emotional composure at all times.




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