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RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'slave' to 'sub' to find a 'loving,caring' Master


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RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 3:43:41 PM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		It's ironic for me to see this thread because just last weekend, after identifying as a slave for over a year on here, I changed my profile label to submissive.  I explained why I did so in a journal entry, but it was largely due to looking at the dictionary definitions of both words and realizing that I was *choosing* to submit as opposed to being *bound* (or forced) to serve.  I do realize that in the D/s/BDSM world and 'our' common perceptions of each label, when someone really speaks to me and understands my heart and the level of surrender I yearn for, most would probably say I am a slave, or at the very least, a submissive with slave tendencies. 

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 3:56:25 PM   
odalisqueslave


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		just got home...........read everyone's imput....thank you.

to each 'his or her own' in regards to 'labels'...
i am quite secure with how i view my 'place' within the grand sceme of things.

what did have me pondering was the coment from this 'person',
that infered that only 'loving' caring' Master's were available for submissives.

odal

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 4:29:55 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: odalisqueslave

just got home...........read everyone's imput....thank you.

to each 'his or her own' in regards to 'labels'...
i am quite secure with how i view my 'place' within the grand sceme of things.

what did have me pondering was the coment from this 'person',
that infered that only 'loving' caring' Master's were available for submissives.

odal

Not at all....You have good and bad in any perview..wether they are sub/slaves or Master/Dominant....Simply look to the individual first and foremost..the rest will take care of itself...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to odalisqueslave)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 5:06:07 PM   
SlaveOwnerDave


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Petaluma, CA
Status: offline 		odal;

quote:

it was suggested that i change my profile from 'slave' to 'sub' to find a 'loving,caring' Master.

This is BS. ANY loving, caring Owner/Master/Dom will read your profile, message back and forth, and THEN decide whether to pursue you more. your profile saying 'sub' rather than 'slave' will have no effect on Him.

One cannot make a good decision without data. your title/label is at the bottom of His list of important facts about you.

I read every profile in its entirety. THEN I decide what I will do.

Slave Owner Dave

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 10:32:57 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I read this two ways and am going to answer both ways I see it

1)Personally, I think you ought to change your profile to "cat" as the pose in your avatar looks a bit like what one of our cats does....
Keep in mind that just because someone makes a "suggestion" doesn't mean you have to listen to or respect it. Often times, such "suggestions" are actually passive agressive forms of attack because you don't live up to the person's idea of the role-of-the-label you've claimed for yourself. Neither they or we really can tell you who you are.. Come spend a couple of years with us and let us get to know you and we can give you somewhat of an opinion. Even then, we won't know what is in your heart and the depths of your mind. This is one you get to figure out alone.

2) The label of sub or slave doesn't change the personality of the person on the other end. (The one reading your profile.) Some of the most loving Dominants I know are owners of slaves. I was at the wedding of Mercnbeth and Merc "got something in his eye" while saying his vows. He is head over heels for beth. She IS a slave, rather than just taking it as a empty label or using it as exchangable for submissive.

If you're having a problem finding a loving Dominant for a slave you need to consider why you're not attracting the loving Dominants out there.  Does your profile make it seem like you feel slaves should be treated without consideration? If so, change the profile to reflect your exact ideas of how you will be treated. But also keep in mind that a lot of the owners out there have unrealistic expectations of a slave. They want someone who will put up with their shit without question and give them their own way but don't have any actual Dominant characteristics or understanding of the role dynamics and how to deal with property.  And perhaps that fits with some slave's needs. They just don't seem to fit yours. Be true to what you feel you are.. don't change it because you think you're not finding Dom/me Right because of a label. Realize that Dominants who understand and are good at that type of relationship are rare and finding them is a drawn out process.

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 9/8/2007 10:35:06 PM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 11:04:11 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		people are always saying things....see we are doing it right now in fact.

i think that this lifestyle encourages self exploration and self awareness....that is just one of the many perks....dont be surprised if you try on a few hats till you find something that fits.



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 11:19:12 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Deleted.  (Misread the thread title.)

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 9/8/2007 11:22:00 PM >

(in reply to odalisqueslave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/8/2007 11:31:54 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

You need to identify yourself with what you think fits YOU best and then find someone who will want you for those qualities. Don't sell yourself short.


Quoted for truth.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 2:20:54 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		So, someone is saying that you can't have a loving, caring Master if you are a slave? If so, this person doesn't have either a healthy relationship or a positive view of slave. I know MANY loving and caring Masters. I'd like to think I'm one.

In the end, how do YOU want to be listed?

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to odalisqueslave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 7:20:51 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with the rest. Some subs have loving caring Masters ... some have mean bastards. Some slaves have loving caring Masters ... some have mean bastards! I guess it comes down to what they choose for their lives ... whom they choose to submit to. I think it's worth describing the sort of Master you are looking for, and possibly "safer" to say you are submissive who could become enslaved to the right Master. From the replies here, it seems most slaves aren't willing to be slave to just anyone ... it has to be the right person to bring that out of them. I certainly feel that way about my Master!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 9:58:06 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		Ditto, beargonewild.  Besides, odalisqueslave, who's telling you this?  Is it some sort of 'expert' on "how to find a Master on CM?"  Why should their opinion make any difference? 
 
Best advice, be true to yourself.  If you feel that 'slave' more accurately describes the essence of your being, then go with that.  i found an extremely wonderful and caring Master on CM, with a profile listing myself as 'slave', even though i wasn't a slave, yet.  i was searching for a Master, who wanted to own a 24/7 TPE slave, so, that's what i put in my profile.  Of course, i stated in my profile that i had never been owned and had never been a slave but, that i had a very deep desire to be.  Just 2 weeks after posting my original profile on CM, i was communicating with the Master i currently belong to.  So, it worked for me.  Best wishes to you in your search.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David


quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

It's my feeling that you should label what you think most accurately describes yourself. You should know yourself well enough to know if sub or slave best describes you.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 11:55:47 AM   
awmslave


Posts: 599
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		In case your desire and goal is to become a slave in the future it is OK to advertise as a slave. Your profile suggests at this time you prefer vanilla life with occasional BDSM play. If this is how you want it, do not identify as a slave.  It does not make much difference but the search engine separates slaves and submissives.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 12:09:00 PM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: awmslave

It does not make much difference but the search engine separates slaves and submissives.


Actually, I don't think it does.  I think the only choice is 'submissive' on a search, and it brings up both submissives and slaves.  I wondered about that so I checked into it a while ago.

(in reply to awmslave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: it was suggested that i change my profile from 'sla... - 9/9/2007 8:12:06 PM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		When doing a search of profiles you have choices for orientation of any, slaves, switches, submissives, or dominants.  If you choose slaves, only those who are listed as slave will come up on the results list.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: awmslave

It does not make much difference but the search engine separates slaves and submissives.


Actually, I don't think it does.  I think the only choice is 'submissive' on a search, and it brings up both submissives and slaves.  I wondered about that so I checked into it a while ago.

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 34
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