Public Punishment (Full Version)

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slaveofKaos -> Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:26:58 PM)

My question is this have many slaves been punished in front of others? By others I mean other people in the lifestyle and not in a public setting but rather if your Master or Mistress has over a friend who also happens to be a Master or Mistress and you do something wrong, whether it's a very small suttle punishment or a big one.




justLady -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:30:56 PM)

Never.

My boy does his best at all times.

Criticising anything he has done cuts him more deeply than the crop ever could.

I would never dream of inflicting anything as intimate or personal as a punishment on him in front of a bystander, no matter how close they were.  I have too much respect for him and the effort he puts into our relationship.

It would never work for us - of course, that's simply our dynamic.




breatheasone -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:33:58 PM)

This has not happened to me... I'm not sure Master would do this....not saying its good or bad...i just don't know.




BabyNyla -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:37:17 PM)

I was punished in public ... at a play party ... after another Dominant demanded the punishment ... feeling I had disrespected him ... I was hurt that my Daddy did not defend me but rather went along with what the others wanted ... I am still mad to this day, lol, about a year later.




celticlord2112 -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:40:50 PM)

I have occasionally corrected my slaves in public with a discrete pinching of the earlobe or a fingernail....something not readily observed by others.  Such corrections are for minor fits of pique or ill temper, and serve the purpose of keeping a minor issue from becoming a major issue.

The one exception to this was a time when my slave and I were at a Rob Zombie concert, and she without thinking unhooked her collar from my lead.  THAT mistake earned her an immediate swat on the behind.

However, under no circumstances would I ever apply a major punishment (in my House, this means a bare bottom spanking, with either a riding crop or leather belt) in front of others.  If a slave has stepped that far out of line, it's handled privately between her and I.   And if she is getting that far out of line when in the company of others, I take what steps I can to bring the situation under control so that a major scene can be avoided.

That is a rule I learned in the Marines:  "Discipline in private, praise in public".




AquaticSub -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 4:53:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

My question is this have many slaves been punished in front of others? By others I mean other people in the lifestyle and not in a public setting but rather if your Master or Mistress has over a friend who also happens to be a Master or Mistress and you do something wrong, whether it's a very small suttle punishment or a big one.


He had me stand in a corner once in front of a small group of very close friends who he knew would not be upset by it. 30 seconds on one foot - to teach the lesson and improve my balence. They were not masters or mistress, submissives or slaves, but simply our closest friends who understand us.




MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:06:43 PM)

I have not. Punishment is a private matter between my slaves and I.




SirHedonicsslave -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:09:51 PM)

Corrected....yes....once.  I was smoking at that time....we were at a party(partially lifestyle people, the rest *aware* but not lifestyle), we were all sitting in the kitchen talking and i lit a cigarette.  I was supposed to ask permission and forgot, it was shortly after the "asking permission" phase had started for the cigarettes.  He just took it out of my hand and put it out.  That was the end of it...got a few weird looks but nothing outside of that. 
Master doesn't really do "punishment" except for severe problems.....He believes in rewarding good behavior.  If I do as I'm supposed to do, then I get play time, if i don't, then it doesn't happen.  If i were to act inappropriately around others, i probably wouldn't be having any playtime for a while....quite a while. 




celticlord2112 -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:23:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirHedonicsslave
Master doesn't really do "punishment" except for severe problems.....He believes in rewarding good behavior.


I am of a similar mindset.  I would much rather praise than punish.  Especially in public I view the little punishments/corrections as a way to quickly re-align the slave's attitude before it strays into a rebellious/bratty/disobedient mode.  Similarly, I make a point of offering up little praises for the little bits of good behavior...saying thank you when she brings Me my coffee in the morning for example.

I believe small gestures (positive and negative) done frequently do more to maintain the slave on the right path of obedience than large overly dramatic gestures.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:29:16 PM)

It's generally inappropriate.  Guests should be made as priority and made to feel as comfortable as possible.  So unless punishing you somehow INCREASED their feelings of welcome and comfort, it would be pretty much not allowed.

In general public, if unable to be perceived by anyone else, do whatever you want.  If it may interfere with anyone else and likely to cause them discomfort, then it's not advisable either.  Even at a kinky party, punishment is considered a fairly private issue and since punishment is a NEGATIVE experience, most people do NOT want that to be a part of their supposedly fun time out on the town.

Overall it's just not a good idea- but then I don't punish casually anyway so punishment for me would include LOTS of talking over and LOTS of discussion on goals and priorities and expectations- so doing it at a public party or when guests are over is just not going to happen.




Satyr6406 -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:32:07 PM)

To me, this depends upon the nature of the "infraction". While I, also, firmly believe in "discipline in private/praise in public" (Huah!), there are times when, if a submissive offers some personal "insult" to me, in public, she will be corrected, immediately. I don't really do physical punishment so, it would be, possibly, a public "chastisement". Again that's if the situation warrented it.
 
I have always held the belief that, even in the 'nilla world where people see us a "just a couple", how other people treat me will be based upon how they see her treating me (to some degree). But, in a kind of contrast to what I stated above, I believe the converse is true ie; how I treat her is how others will treat her. That's what balances out the whole "public punishment" thing to me.
 
Suffice it to say that if she insults me, in public, we have some deeper issues which need to be worked out, in private.
 
I do like the example given of the un-asked for cigarette. Plain, simple, enforcement of his will without un-necessary embarrassment. Sometimes, it's necessary. It's not like he could let her smoke a little bit of the cigarette while he told her that they needed to "go off to a corner" to have a little chat.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael




IrishMist -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:32:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

My question is this have many slaves been punished in front of others? By others I mean other people in the lifestyle and not in a public setting but rather if your Master or Mistress has over a friend who also happens to be a Master or Mistress and you do something wrong, whether it's a very small suttle punishment or a big one.

yes




servantheart -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:37:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

My question is this have many slaves been punished in front of others? By others I mean other people in the lifestyle and not in a public setting but rather if your Master or Mistress has over a friend who also happens to be a Master or Mistress and you do something wrong, whether it's a very small suttle punishment or a big one.


Yes.....Sir has, on very rare occasion, swatted me in front of others.  Usually, though, I get a "look" from Him or a small, albeit painful, pinch on my ear from Him when in public. 




SirHedonicsslave -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:40:32 PM)

Even as a slave, it's nice to hear "Thank you" occassionally.  Over the years, i have come across many *cough* Doms that didn't understand that simple concept. 
It took me a while to get the concept of reward=play.  I was used to feeling like i had to give the Dom a *reason* to get any kind of play time by acting up.....backwards i know, made me feel like i had backtracked 15 years.....but that's the way a lot function i suppose.   It's taken time, but i've adjusted pretty well.....just lucky for Master i'm not a "high-maintenance" type because i rarely give him reason to with hold the play time.....He'd be worn out!!




goalie62 -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 5:46:20 PM)

I also believe in publicly praising but privately punishing.  The usually get the subtle elbow bump in public if it's minor.




Estring -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 6:20:33 PM)

Never had to punish my slave in public. Maybe had to gently remind her occasionally, but she is good at obeying me. I would probably not punish her in front of others, but would wait until we were alone.




LeatherBentOne -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 6:20:53 PM)

Depends where we are, who is there and what the circumstances are.  I have publicly punished in very few cases, but my subs always know what is expected of them under most circumstances so this rarely ever takes place.  It's my feeling that if my sub breaks general protocol in public among other BDSMer's, the behavior reflects poorly on me, and I'm therefore compelled to correct/punish in public.  However, I almost never inflict pain as punshment.  Pain is reserved for a job well done. 

LBO




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 6:35:17 PM)

I have seen others punished at play parties but I never personally have been. Once I was snippy to my dom at a play party but not in front of others, he waited till I got home to punish me.




Sakone -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 6:36:49 PM)

Well I have punished mine twice since I had him. The reasons for one of them he was talking badly about me, as well as my family. For that he was hit across the head. The second time same punishment different reason.




BitaTruble -> RE: Public Punishment (9/3/2007 6:42:16 PM)

~FR~

While I rarely act in such a way as to earn punishment, the punishments that Himself, generally, decide upon fit whatever crime I've committed. As this usually involves some sort of reflection, public punishment wouldn't be suitable. Even prior to Himself, I don't ever recall being punished in public. If someone else were punished in front of me, it would probably make me uncomfortable and I would excuse myself.

Celeste




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