RE: I got a beef with some people

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: I got a beef with some people

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: I got a beef with some people

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 5:08:09 PM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Okay, I know what I'm about to say is gonna cause me grief and flames, but at least it's honest.

I know several people who are in wheelchairs, family members included, some no longer with us. I've taken care of a Mother who, after an accident, was wheelchair bound and barely cognizant. Cognizant X3 before I could take her home, then a set back before I could even rush her outside the hospital doors. I got her out before they noticed.

Another family memberhas been in a wheelchair for a few years now and I think her hubby is fantastic, I honestly think she's a domme and just doesn't know it. He surely plays a sub to a tee as well. He does everything and it's always yes dear, okay dear, whatever you want dear. I;ve really considered broaching them on this subject. I think it might kinda ruin the affect for them though. I love when they come and stay with me. They have the type of relationship people dream of. Well, Domme's and Subs *laughing*

A great friend is also in a wheelchair, who at 19, dove off the side of a pool because he thought he saw the reflection of the diving board, yet it was only the reflection of a bench. I do believe his wife is still with him, in spite of the years and years he tried to push her away. He's about 63 now, I don't recall her age. I know that I should be awe inspired by one sister, who was wheelchair bound, with a truely amazing mind and an even better spirit. In spite of dead pieces of her constantly being carved away in the hopes it would save her, she was awesome.

Maybe it's hard to me because it's a reminder of the wonderful woman my Mother was and the loss I felt, everyday, in the years she lived with me before she passed. Really it has more to do with her mind than the chair. I know this, yet it is still there.

A brother who...well, I'll not go on with everyone on the list, as I'm sure you get my point.

I think there are a lot of things each of us can and can't do with regards in who we choose to be a partner with. While I can see past severe scars and other disfigurements (that guy in Pay It Foward, played by Kevin Spacy, well... I could barely see them, I had to look hard), even when they themselves can't see past them. Others out there are able to see past a metal piece of equipment that allows you to be mobile.

I add that, I am not that pool divers' wife.. I allowed myself to eventually be pushed away by someone who could not see past the physical scars that I'd long forgotten were there.

While I do think if someone became wheelchair bound while I was with them, I would see beyond that and the feelings already in place would not falter. I don't think it's me to be interested in someone who is already in one.

C'est la vie et la vie peut être une guerre mentale...we all have....something...... ~Big

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 5:44:54 PM

ADmanDingLady

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/25/2007
Status: offline

Well, Big; I appreciate your honesty about your limit of what you could do. I used to think the same way. Had known a number of individuals who were in chairs in my life. and then, about 10 years ago, I met a guy that had so much personality and was such a terrific person; that I found myself in a relationship with him without even realizing it was happening.
I learned from that experience that it isn't the disability nor the chair that plays a role in any part of the actual relationship...it is that ever elusive "chemistry" that is created when like-minded and kindred spirited people meet once in a blue moon.
Don't worry if others judge you for this little thing about you. Just accept it as a part of your natural self, love yourself and you may one day find yourself caught up in a truly great relationship.
Meeting my friend was a wonderful and life changing event. And the intimacy was just as good, as every other part of our time as a couple (

)...LOL

My best to you in all things!

Captain Malcolm Reynolds to crew in Serenity: "So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave."

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 5:48:00 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

One other point I forgot to share about Fred (the guy I was referring to) - he went to parties and events and was known and seen. People talked to him. One even finally married him. They're quite happy...

If he only kept to himself, it wouldn't have happened.

And yes, this is also for all of us.

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 6:06:00 PM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

I so understand your point, I do believe many things are possible, just not always possible each and every time. I do pass up the individual more often than not. I do see the person and their chair first. I admit this openly. I just feel, for me, that if I'm not already involved in a ltr, then I would and could be a good friend, though not a sexual one...Many of us have our faults and fetishes. Some would find this extremely erotic, I know this for a fact..others will shy away from this as others avoid pony play. Fine for others, just not for me. I can still enjoy the person for themselves, even though they enjoy pony play, however, they wouldn't be my sexual partner.

~Big

(in reply to e01n)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 6:30:27 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

I'd happily date a woman in a wheelchair, or with other disabilities. I wouldn't date her in spite of those disabilities. I wouldn't date her because of those disabilities. A disability is one of many factors I'd consider in the relationship.

I find the deepest scars and damage have nothing to do with people's legs, or lack thereof. It's what happens to their hearts and minds that can be most difficult to reconcile.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 6:43:06 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

And I am simply gonna say:

Beef-- it's what's for dinner, goddamit!

Robert Mitchum

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: I got a beef with some people - 8/31/2007 7:01:12 PM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

There is much that I would, could, wamt to say, yet I don't find it constructive at this time, at least not for me.
Some disabilities, I don't even notice. Other, ply at me.

I agree, lack of legs and such are not the problem. It IS what happens to the minds and hearts of those who are involved, and, or going to be involved.

I too want to be the best that is possible for me to be. I too want to be everything, which I know that I can be, deep within me. I also know that I'm human, I have faults. I think we all have them, no matter our orientation.

I can love the person that you are, I just can't "DO" everyone I love!

~Big

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: I got a beef with some people - 9/1/2007 9:10:31 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I use a power chair when I'm out shopping or at a restaurant. The only grief I get is with the handicap parking spots.

I've never had a shortage of people that wanted me to be their Domme.(Ha! I bet they think I can't catch them if they run.. I keep a pocketful of marbles to throw in their path and my chair has a top speed of 4 mph!)

I make a conscious effort to look my best at all times. Hair, nails and makeup-everyday. I have finally found a successful weight loss regimen and already dumped 11 pounds (eating- who knew?). I'm looking in the mirror and finally seeing "me" again.

I have a killer sense of humor.. from slapstick to Mr.Spock dry.

My "chair" is not "me".

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to labtecman)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: I got a beef with some people - 9/1/2007 3:53:34 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

People are ignorant. People don't have common decency anymore. It's ridiculous.

(in reply to labtecman)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: I got a beef with some people - 9/2/2007 8:58:53 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
Status: offline

But you're people... You can do something about it.
I'm people... I can do something about it.

Enough of us do something about it, something gets done...

"Look to the ant, thou sluggard, and be made wise..."

(in reply to Casie)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: I got a beef with some people - 9/5/2007 6:30:54 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

slavish...let's run with that thought...how do we educate these people who are sooo uncomfy that they make rude remarks and expressions? We can only educate those willing. It would appear to me, anyway, that the OP's beef isn't about the uneducated but the assinine.

we educate them at home. we teach our children that they are just a fall away from being handicapped. we teach them to be compassionate and we teach them to live by the golden rule.
we also teach them their worth so if they end up in a wheelchair they wont care what ignorant people do or say.
we teach them how lucky they are to have working extremities and a mind. we teach them to stick up and reach out to those that others wont.
we teach them by example.
for those others well just give them a dirty look and speak up about their rudeness. it wont change their ways but it will let others know someone gives a damn.
much respect Ma'am.

(in reply to earthycouple)

Profile

Post #: 31