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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 1:12:11 PM

Lordandmaster

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I love noobs with boobs.

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 2:32:32 PM

WhiplashSmile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: patwi

I have this terrible image of me being approached by some unattractive fellow while my husband is out for a smoke, and not knowing what to do is a random dom would demand my submission.

If the unattractive fellow is politely asking if you would like to scene simply say no, politely. If the unattractive fellow is demanding your submission, tell him to fuck off. If he persists and you start feeling threatened, I find a knee to the balls while yelling your safeword (or the group's safeword) to be very effective at gathering a crowd to ensure all threatening behavior stops.

I have the Damnest mental image come to my mind while reading this post...

The Kneeling positions are perfect positions for giving it to somebody in the balls, would be a rude awakening of sort.. Oh sure, you want me to submit, you mean get down on my knees before you like this? I can see it now, the warm glowing sensation filling the dom up just as he begins to gloat... BAM... shot right to the balls... in brief moment he realizes everything is not what he thought it should be.

I can only imagine the lasting impression it would leave upon him, always on the lookout and somewhat fearful when anybody kneeled before him again. LOL

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 8/26/2007 2:34:17 PM >

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 3:01:35 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I love noobs with boobs.

LOL, I bought my son (he's 21) a T-shirt that says..."boobies make me smile" and has a yellow smiley face on it.

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 3:09:48 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I love noobs with boobs.

LOL, I bought my son (he's 21) a T-shirt that says..."boobies make me smile" and has a yellow smiley face on it.

I want a shirt that says "Natural Twenty" with two d20s on the 20 side.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 3:18:11 PM

ThudBaby

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Well I googled Pennsylvania BDSM and a ton of yahoo groups, etc came up. I know the local groups that host events here have their party protocols and/or rules posted. Have you looked into that so you have a better idea of what the protocols are in your area should you choose to get involved?

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 4:04:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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The short answer is no.

The long answer is- some groups WILL expect it, but they should be pretty clear about that before you even enter the door.

And some PEOPLE in all groups have the attitude that all subs act in X ways and should be expected to serve all doms. Those people can easily be ignored and forgotten about.

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 4:51:09 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

The knee to someone's groin is probably not a very good idea, but unless your Dominant specifically forbids you against doing so, its definitely ok to tell anyone you aren't comfortable with No Thank You, and when the situation warrants it HELL NO.

Only if they are getting out of hand!

There's always the exception to any rule! I imagine if someone was THAT out of hand with you, he warranted it.

I know one snerty Dominant at a party pushed things too far with a very sweet unassuming submissive, not knowing she was a Marine. She laid him out and had him all but hogtied in record time. Was the highlight of the evening.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 8/26/2007 4:52:26 PM >

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 4:55:25 PM

MHOO314

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No No No and make sure your husband/Dom sends those signals and makes it very very clear UNLESS you have discussed it and negotiated it. However, no sub needs to be submissive to another Dominant.

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 5:04:14 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

There's always the exception to any rule! I imagine if someone was THAT out of hand with you, he warranted it.

I know one snerty Dominant at a party pushed things too far with a very sweet unassuming submissive, not knowing she was a Marine. She laid him out and had him all but hogtied in record time. Was the highlight of the evening.

Oh God I wish I could have seen that.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 6:48:32 PM

ladysekhmetka

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

There's always the exception to any rule! I imagine if someone was THAT out of hand with you, he warranted it.

I know one snerty Dominant at a party pushed things too far with a very sweet unassuming submissive, not knowing she was a Marine. She laid him out and had him all but hogtied in record time. Was the highlight of the evening.

Oh God I wish I could have seen that.

Seconded!

::goes back to lurk mode::

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 10:00:51 PM

arayofsunshine55

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Being new does not mean you have to swallow anything anybody is trying to sell you. Be who you want to be. Insist on it. Everyone else will adapt or not.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/26/2007 11:23:35 PM

KiandPhoenix

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Submission is given to a person, not a community of people. As a dom I have no right to demand anything of any sub who has not given her submission to ME, AND I have accepted it.

If someone you don't know demands something of you, look at them like they are insane and tell them to get over themselves. If you are in a public BDSM place, then there is probably someone running the place that you can talk to if the person still wont go away. Just like any other place, if you are being harassed, then you can speak to the management.
~Ki

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/27/2007 12:11:40 AM

MaamJay

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I agree with what others have posted. And would suggest that before going to a club or play party, look for a munch. This is a much less threatening "first time public experience" involving people wearing ordinary clothes (black is always popular!) sharing a meal or drinks in a pub or restaurant. Most of the chat is ordinary everyday stuff with occasional forays into "which side of bdsm are you on?" Discretion is necessary due to the presence of vanilla public and staff so it's a very low-key affair. Any use of Sir, Ma'am, Master, Mistress etc tends to be just between the people who are already connected in partnerships, you don't call every Dom Sir at most events. That way you get to know some people and feel more comfortable with them before attending a public play event. Where I lived, it was mandatory for someone new to attend a munch and get checked out by the group (and have chance to check us out) before being invited to a play party - just one little level of safety for the group as a whole. Addresses of play parties were never posted or made freely available. Another thing to look for is a bdsm discussion group, again a much less scary "entree".

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/27/2007 2:15:04 AM

came4U

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quote:

I have this terrible image of me being approached by some unattractive fellow while my husband is out for a smoke, and not knowing what to do is a random dom would demand my submission.

So I guess the root of my question is - would my submissiveness make me required to be such for everyone?

What if he was good looking? Would your reaction to someone speaking to you be different?

Act just like anywhere else in public as a polite, repectable and taken woman (non-poly). Likelyhood of a guy trolling you to 'act' submissive for him, nil to none. He would have a bad reputation and fast in doing such.

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RE: Kind of an odd question from an admitted noob. - 8/27/2007 7:46:23 AM

patwi

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If he was good looking, he would have the same reaction. :) I am married, after all.

And of course, I do realize that the chances of this scenario are tiny. But I'm a person who tends to stress out over "what if??"

Also - I think a much would be a better start, thanks for the idea. I do need to get googling again.

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