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School? - 8/25/2007 10:00:25 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening,
  How does one go about when the sub/slave goes back to school Monday through Thursday and works full time? i mean how does a d/s relationship work when both parties work full time and one goes to school full time?
  Thank you
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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:03:01 PM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		As i am in that exact position, i can honestly say - very carefully... both parties have to make efforts to stay in touch... actually, it's not any different than a relationship that's not D/s in that it takes effort all the way around - and lots of communication... good luck!

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normal is a setting on a washing machine...

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:09:07 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		 thank you. Not sure if your already in the position of both working and full time school, but during the week do you feel totally burned out? How do you handle that?

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:10:09 PM   
mischievousone


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		It's not easy!  But it can be done.  We both work full time, I returned to school, and we live almost an hour apart!

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:11:02 PM   
MadHatter


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, I was actually wondering the same thing as you, grlneedstolearn. I'm just starting to get into the entire D/s thing (very newbish) and my being in school and work that makes me wonder that as well.

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:12:15 PM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

thank you. Not sure if your already in the position of both working and full time school, but during the week do you feel totally burned out? How do you handle that?


Shoot, i spent from Oct. last year thru June of this year working 40 hours a week and going to school 25 hours a week... add to that that i have 2 kids at home - burned out doesn't even come close... AND, to make it even more hellish, i had to (and will again til May as i start school this coming week - but only 20 hours a week - yiippee!! lol) work EVERY weekend... cuz i need 2 days off during the week for clinicals.
So yes, very burned out - but you will find you want to make time for your relationship - at least i did...

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:13:49 PM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good evening,
How does one go about when the sub/slave goes back to school Monday through Thursday and works full time? i mean how does a d/s relationship work when both parties work full time and one goes to school full time?
Thank you


How does any relationship work under these circumstances?

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RE: School? - 8/25/2007 10:16:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you
quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good evening,
How does one go about when the sub/slave goes back to school Monday through Thursday and works full time? i mean how does a d/s relationship work when both parties work full time and one goes to school full time?
Thank you


The way any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, works in those circumstances. Both parties work harder to make time for each other and both parties accept that they aren't always going to get their way.

By order of Valyraen, I'm to take care of schoolwork first and to tell him to fuck off when needed.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 12:12:25 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, it can work.

My slave works part-time and has a full load.  I have twenty-one credit hours and spend most of my freetime doing indepedent research.  We make it work.

The Dom establishing guidelines to act as rules during his absense can be vital in such cases.  In my absense, my slave generally knows her orders.  In the cases she doesn't, she's to try to contact me, often via cell phone.  If she's unable to reach me, either due to the necessarity of haste, my being unavailable, or other reason, she's to make the best attempt at anticipating what I would have her do.  The system has worked well for those days when everything is quite hectic.

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 12:32:06 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good evening,
How does one go about when the sub/slave goes back to school Monday through Thursday and works full time? i mean how does a d/s relationship work when both parties work full time and one goes to school full time?
Thank you


How does any relationship work under these circumstances?


Actually, quite well.  With that much activity going on, it's an excellent opportunity  to figure out what's really important in the relationship.  


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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 12:35:41 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Actually, quite well.  With that much activity going on, it's an excellent opportunity  to figure out what's really important in the relationship.


This is a good point.  It can be easy to cling to a relationship when it's the only thing really going on, but it seems to me that you know it's really worth it when you both pursue it despite a million other things going on.

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 12:39:51 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		LOTS of coffee. 

I've been going to school at night while working full time, managing my mom's finances, dealing with health issues, and going through the divorce from hell.  My Master helped me prioritize things when it became overwhelming.  There were times he pulled his assignments away from me to free me up for some of the other things.  He reminded me that going to school is also one of his assignments, to help me with feeling as though I was somehow failing him. 

We also spent a lot of time communicating late at night (we don't live together so a lot of communication is done via phone or IM/email).  There were some nights I would get very little sleep, and literally rely on lots of coffee to keep me going.  When I'd visit him or meet up with him on trips, he'd have me bring my homework, and while he worked, I was to study.

It's difficult, but with patience, a creative imagination, and yes - coffee, it can work. 

Best of luck to you!!

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 10:12:22 AM   
sneakybear


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		lol...Try two full time demanding jobs, one of which sucks up a ton of energy and time, two kids and a house under reno...It is possible, love devotion, communication and a whole lot of creative timing, planning and desire, make it all possible.

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Against all Authority

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 10:38:51 AM   
Ravin


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/21/2006
Status: offline 		one trick I found while I did alot of those things you all talk about, having 4 kids, school, 2x full time jobs and all sorts of other interesting and annoying interruptions was to plan a day, say 60-90 days out into the madness and have a day "out" . Plan it, tell folks you have a previous engagement, arrange it with work, school,etc. etc.. and then both of you steal away if only to a local hotel, etc. and spend the entire day focused on each other. This is in addition to all the above stated suggestions which make up a very good list of things on keeping it fresh and alive, just tossing in a "getawayday" or two a while off gives both people a goal to shoot for in addition to the time to reconnect during the trying times.

Good luck!

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: School? - 8/26/2007 11:18:19 AM   
ddthrill


Posts: 45
Status: offline 		Nobody can do everything. Do you mean full time college - 15 -18 credits?
OK maybe a part time job but no house work and no life.

No way a full time job and 18 credits.

Master Falcon's dd

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: School? - 8/26/2007 11:23:30 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Waxing philosophical here, I have an issue with the idea that full plates preclude meaningful relationships.

Relationships are not bolted onto our lives, they ARE our lives, and everything else is bolted onto them.

Jobs, school, family, et cetera....what are these if not things that feed the relationships in our lives?


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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 1:28:31 PM   
Ravin


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/21/2006
Status: offline 		I dare say that people are speaking in the sense that yes, all the activities and things we do aide us in our ability to lead the lives we choose. But as people "forsake the storm for the rain, thou without the rain there cannot be life( or renewal)" Yes, people need to have direction and focus in that we "work to survive, not survive to work" as the mentality goes, while life is testing us, giving us these plates that run  over with school, work, kids, bills, etc......{ insert any number of things that seem to give each of us problems} folks are looking for a few perhaps tried and true tips on how to keep a good focus on the "Why we do this, whats at the end of the rainbow" and keeping the mentality and clarity that sometimes gets hazy when we're running 18+hour days. 

1) Communication- True and Honest if even at times not glorious or happy as life and events are not always glorious nor happy. If a nightly phonecall does not work perhaps a personal blog, livejournal, etc is in order. there's so many ways to do this.
2) Make time- Make that 60 day or 90 day commitment to get together and do what it is Y/you both desire. Reconnect, reshape and focus yourself, center your mind and spirit. Likely you can return to daunting tasks and perform better then you were just prior because you've taken that much needed time out.
3) Whatever works for you both, etc.... is all that Matters. what works for 1 couple might not work for another. Find what works and run with it.

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 3:52:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And just remember, it's not about what you DO, it's who you ARE, it's how the authority flows.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: School? - 8/26/2007 5:07:38 PM   
Ravin


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And just remember, it's not about what you DO, it's who you ARE, it's how the authority flows.


this is true enough, but in some of what we are reading its people who are still feeling out their "ARE" in the relationship(s) and havent cemented a relationship to the point that others have. there's a potential pitfall with your statement when its set along side other statements that the community tends to follow:

Actions speak louder than words
and Our Actions Define Our Persona
 
Please, lets keep this debate going.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: School? - 8/26/2007 5:20:52 PM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		We look back and see all the mistakes and missed opportunities that happened when we tried to live D/s,  run businesses and raise kids and horses, etc. All you can do is the best you can and let it go.

Now that we are able to devote realistic time and focus to bdsm we are having trouble finding the right slave(s) to do it with.... life's a bitch and then ya die.

Enjoy the journey and don't focus on the destination.

Bill

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"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

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