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Slaves topping? - 8/14/2007 10:21:47 PM   
dsjen


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/20/2006
Status: offline 		Sarijane's recent post brought this question to mind:

Do slaves top? If they do wouldn't they be called switches then? Or would it just be a slave switching? And if a slave tends to top frequently, then are they  a slave, switch, or subbie? Does it depend on who they top (say Master or just another slave)?

Can anyone provide any examples of slaves topping, or is it just us subbies and switches that enjoy being the occasional top?
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/14/2007 10:28:37 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'd use the Search feature to check for this in past threads.  For now, let's see..

-It's a senstive issue.
-It's a divided issue.
-Some claim that Dom's can bottom or sub's can top while still exclusively being a Dom/sub.
-Some (the greater population?) seem to doubt the aboves' claim.

Personally, I feel that, if one is being controlled in the bedroom, this constitutes submission.  If one is submissive in bed, yet dominate outside?  I would coin this as a "switch" (and, further, consider the notion of the Dom as a closet sub).  Some seem to perfer terming it, "Dom who bottoms".  However you want to see it, I suppose.

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/14/2007 10:37:53 PM   
sexy1960


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline 		Oooops....logged in under the wrong name!!!!

Sorry sexy...

< Message edited by sexy1960 -- 8/14/2007 10:38:39 PM >

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/14/2007 10:40:30 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Ok...under the correct user name...

I know many slaves who Top and many Masters who bottom. What we DO doesn't not necessarily define who we ARE.

The school of thought I subscribe to explains it like this:
Top/bottom are physical roles.
Dominant/submissive are mental roles.
Master/slave are spiritual roles.
All can be interchanged and matched up.

I am a Master who usually Tops for SM, Tops or bottoms for sex and Tops or bottoms for spirituality.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 12:11:41 AM   
goodgirl85


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Shrugs... Just because a sub can have a sadist streak doesn't mean they are a switch... We say Dominants (general term for all people who Top including Masters, Sirs, Lords, Daddys, Ladys, Mistresses, Maams, Mommies and etc) should be at least willing to try - if not actually try- something on themselves before trying it on a bottom (sub/slave/pet/etc) so can't it be the other way around? 

I have no desire to actually top someone, though I have on occasion wondered about the mental aspects of having that power.
If a Dom trying something on himself or having something done to him... such as being blindfolded, and whipped and etc... is supposed to help him understand the mental state a sub goes through (*my* perspective on why this should be done) wouldn't it help a sub to understand the Doms mental state as he goes thru a scene? Though I am not really sure a masochist can fully understand a sadists enjoyment of the scene and vice versa unless a switch...

Switches have the best of both worlds....

Sometimes I find myself wondering what it is like to have that control, and why they need that control... sometimes I find myself wishing I weren;t a sub at all but just a plain vanilla girl... things would be so much easier... but alas, my first Dom ruined me by showing me the wonders of the life and now I am destined to be a submissive forever.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 12:17:14 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		As Master Fire said, Topping and bottoming are physical roles. Just because someone, sub or slave, likes to or does top sometimes, doesn't make them a switch in my opinion. I don't consider myself switch at all, I just want to be on the other side of the implement on occasion.

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(in reply to goodgirl85)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 12:25:51 AM   
RavensDreamer


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		Well, if your Dom orders you to be on top, then in my opinion your not a switch or a closet Dom. You are following through with an order to please him/her. So they still have controll.

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 1:22:30 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		If it feels good, or feels right, then do it.  Figure out the names for it when you have time, if it matters.

For some people the title they carry is a really important part of their identity, and it's deep in their psyche - they're not going to change it no matter what they do.  And, really, if a person is knows with every fibre that they're a slave, or sub, then that's what they are even if they've just tied someone to a St Andrew's cross and whipped them in five different directions.  And enjoyed it.

What the heck, it's OUR fetish, WE make the rules, we can be whatever we feel!

(in reply to RavensDreamer)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 6:43:35 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I call myself a switch servant. I top...and I have topped Her...as recently as last weekend. Then again...when this happens She tops from the bottom and it's quite clear that She does. Whatever. It works for me and Her obviously or we wouldn't be doing it.

(in reply to becca333)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 6:46:59 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I have topped, under Sirs direction. I have never topped him but have topped other girls for him. I wouldnt naturally do it on my own, but he likes watching me do it sometimes so I do. I dont think that makes me a switch.

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I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


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~Woody Allen

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 8:15:18 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dsjen

Sarijane's recent post brought this question to mind:

Do slaves top? If they do wouldn't they be called switches then? Or would it just be a slave switching? And if a slave tends to top frequently, then are they a slave, switch, or subbie? Does it depend on who they top (say Master or just another slave)?

Can anyone provide any examples of slaves topping, or is it just us subbies and switches that enjoy being the occasional top?


Fox is my slave, he is not a slave -- I have doubts that he would so completely serve another person in the future, I think he'd be happy to just be part-time submissive frankly but maybe that's partly my ego talking.

Fox does identify as a switch in terms of his BDSM identity outside of our relationship. He has topped and done service domination (primarily with men) and in fact I'm offering him for sale as a top (bondage specifically) during the auction at GLLA in less than two weeks. He didn't have these top desires until a few years ago, but given his fetishes it can get them satisfied in either role and let's face it, it is often easier to get a scene as a top than as a bottom.

So can someone who is a slave to someone also top? Of course, Fox is a great example of this.

I suspect that even someone who identifies as a slave (regardless of relationship status) might find it difficult to top unless they viewed it as service. Then I suspect it becomes easier to do.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 8:20:08 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		a slave is a status, not an indicator of one's personality or nature. it simply refers to one who is owned. a slave need not be submissive. so of course a slave can top, if that's something their owner allows or demands.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 8:23:58 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Oh, i thought this was going to be about putting whipped cream,
little chocolate sprinkles and a maraschino cherry on me.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet)

Edited to add, i'll bring the nuts.

< Message edited by chiaThePet -- 8/15/2007 8:26:29 AM >

_____________________________

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 9:14:28 AM   
cumulus


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		Label overload.


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Regards,
Cumulus

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 9:27:48 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Do what feels right for you and forget the labels. I am a Sadomasochistic Bi-Curious Male Switch, I like it all.
LordVelvet

(in reply to cumulus)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 9:28:35 AM   
Alhazred


Posts: 134
Joined: 7/31/2007
Status: offline 		Seriously, last night I thought I'd try something new so I had two girls at the same time. The one a kewt little pisces in catholic school girl garb and the other a real cat-eyed virgo beauty in a black thong and a titty sash. Both got naked and we enjoyed each other and physically they were on top of me. This is an example of slaves topping. But it's because I didn't feel like doing a lot of work plus I put the scene together. I love well-tanned, smooth skin. Mmmmmm... Frangelica with a water chaser.

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(in reply to cumulus)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 9:41:12 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I know a dominant man, a Gorean actually, who enjoys the kiss of the whip.  He has had his slave, on occasion, turn the whip on him.  Not for an instance, does that make her a switch.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 9:46:15 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		one thing i have learned in this lifestyle the dynamics of what is will become what was. i have a theory that before long we will all be switches and they wlll will be no middle ground.. but the thing about labels we need them to identify our rules with in a given situation etc.(Boss./ Empolyee. Landlord/ Renter) i Think it is important to say
just do what ever be what ever as long as you do the there things safe. sane and consensual

(in reply to Alhazred)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 10:09:39 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		 I do not consider myself a switch. I enjoy a variety of activities. But let's face it, I can't clone myself to "top" me if I choose. Should I desire mine to dance the seven veils, perhaps, bind me, tease and ravish me, it is still by my delegation that she will act opon doing so. I think the key is the orientation, somewhat the core essence that deeply fufills the person on the whole.. Topping, bottoming, whatever, an action. Not a person.Without starting another old debate on labels, and I do find commonality of definition important for communication. However when getting to really know someone, I rarely find that people are all that cut and dry. 

(in reply to dsjen)
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RE: Slaves topping? - 8/15/2007 10:22:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do slaves top?

Sometimes. 

quote:

If they do wouldn't they be called switches then? Or would it just be a slave switching? And if a slave tends to top frequently, then are they  a slave, switch, or subbie? Does it depend on who they top (say Master or just another slave)?

No.  Switch is an orientation- both dominant and submissive.

Topping isn't the same as being a dominant.
quote:


Can anyone provide any examples of slaves topping, or is it just us subbies and switches that enjoy being the occasional top?

Umm you have a slave.  She goes to top someone else. 

Once you break the idea that topping = dominant, you'll see that being a slave and topping doesn't involve switching at all.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dsjen)
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