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Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 8:15:51 AM

Kinkypupper

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From: Portland oregon
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Would like your comments as to why there are so very few "Poly" familys where there would be a Male Master, a female slave and a male submissive/slave. It seems that biologically this would fit much better then the common Male-female-female.
I know it happens in the gay community but why not in the BDSM one.

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

Post #: 1

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 8:25:15 AM

Lordandmaster

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Just wondering...why do you think that would fit better biologically?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

Would like your comments as to why there are so very few "Poly" familys where there would be a Male Master, a female slave and a male submissive/slave. It seems that biologically this would fit much better then the common Male-female-female.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 2

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 8:27:56 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Because most hetero males are too possessive and insecure
Because most hetero females accept and desire that situation

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 3

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 8:34:06 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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I really don't see how this would fit "more" biologically than any other 3 person variation.

Your situation: M top > f/m
How about F top > f/f
F top > m/m
F top > m/f
M top > m/m
M top > f/f

Why is any of these more biologically better of a fit than any other, aside from the two same sex 3 person mixes in which I don't think there's ANY biological fit, but why is it about biological fitting anyway when we're talking about emotional relationships?

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(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 4

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:03:13 AM

Grlwithboy

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Joined: 2/8/2005
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I'm in F/m/m and I think it's infinitely easier. That said, only one of them shares my roof and it's good like that. I like girls, don't get me wrong, and I want to be involved with a girl, but more as a relationship independent of the other ones, rather than making her "a co-slave" or something of that nature.

And I'm probably the most possessive and insecure of the players involved, but know how to cope with my own bag o' shit and prefer an open rel. structure. Not that any of the men in my life are het.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 8/2/2007 9:04:34 AM >

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 5

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:04:42 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

Would like your comments as to why there are so very few "Poly" familys where there would be a Male Master, a female slave and a male submissive/slave. It seems that biologically this would fit much better then the common Male-female-female.
I know it happens in the gay community but why not in the BDSM one.

Because there are more heterosexual male masters than bisexual male masters?

My owners heterosexual, I don't understand why it would make sense for him to own a male slave (in addition to me)?

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 6

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:10:11 AM

SusanofO

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To the OP: Well don't Male hetero Masters usually want to sleep with females (mostly hetero, maybe) as well? I imagine that is one major reason in hetero M/f Poly relationships why this occurs. If the hetero male Master (or Dom) has the "final say" as far as the choice of 3rd member in a Poly family, well then....

If you are thinking it's "not fair" (I am not sure if that is a point of yours here) well, maybe it doesn't seem that way - and maybe the females in these sitautions need to ask to be allowed more significant "input" into the decision-making process, and see what happens (or become Dommes, instead, maybe. Because in M/f relationships, the Master (or Mistress), from what I've read, normally has the "final say" about these things, as you probably already know.)

I have read of some Poly house-holds where there is a male hetero submissive instead (I even had a Dom of mine who suggested I get one for myself. Unfortunately, we broke up before attempting this).

I also have read of situations where a female hetero submissive has has more than one male Dom in a Poly living situation (and there were no other members in the house, just those three, and they shared a female submissive (hetero).

I imagine there must be all kinds of Poly family combinations - but the main reason I can think of why what you mentioned occurs "more often" is because hetero Doms and Masters want to sleep with females. But it is an interesting question.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2007 9:50:50 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 7

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:14:40 AM

CruelGorean

Posts: 35
Joined: 5/19/2007
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Call me old fashioned but I still beleive in 1 Dom 1 submissive. Very rarely do poly relationships work. There has to be alot of elements that work not just in your favor, but everybody's favor.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 8

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:28:36 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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I don't advocate one over the other. And I think other people can do what they want. I personally wouldn't attempt it unless everyone was "on board" with it - if it bothered a partner, it would never, ever work for me.

I've known some Poly folk who've definitely seemed to make it work well, and from what I've read on the Poly message board here at CM - it's work and committment, and there can be problems because there are more personalities involved. I know someonewho used to say: "Poly is not for the faint of heart."

But I respectfully disagree with you: I believe it can be done. And apparently done well, and "long-term" (as in years long).

That could be the "exception" rather than the "rule" - but then again, the average "life-span" of many BDSM relationships (Monogamous or Polyamorous) is something like 3 months, (although I know of much longer-term Mongamous relationships in the BDSM world, too, as well as Polyamorous ones.)

*But I think the question was related to the construction of the Poly family - so whether they should even exist or not is already a "given", and so whether they'd "work" for a specific individual is actually also moot (although how they work, exactly, isn't a moot point; how it works is a salient point, IMO, no disrespect intended (truly).

Anyway - If we're going to dicuss the "merits" and "drawbacks" of Poly (even though that's not the topic, really)- I'd like to hear from people who've been in Poly families, or known some, or are contemplating being in one themselves - and I hope they write in- especially if they can talk about how a Poly family they know about (or are in, or are beginning) is constructed.

So If you've been in one, CruelGorean, can you elaborate on you comment, and please say why it didn't it work for you, and what was the sex of those involved?

Because I've seen a few strictly "Poly vs. Monogamy" discussions on these message boards, and they don't get anywhere (except everyone gets a chance to "express themselves" - and usually ends up vehemently arguing about the "merits" and "drawbacks" of Poly vs. Monogamy - and it turns into a real 'contest').

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2007 10:23:02 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to CruelGorean)

Post #: 9

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:32:17 AM

jellopet

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline

everyone has different preferences. i cant see a Dominant taking on a male slave if he is hetero unless his only intent for the male slave is to be used in a non sexual manner. i know of a few male slaves willing to work in that sort of dynamic, but only if allowed use of the other female slaves.

(in reply to CruelGorean)

Post #: 10

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:34:12 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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You're old fashioned. (Feel better?)

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to CruelGorean)

Post #: 11

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:42:47 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

Would like your comments as to why there are so very few "Poly" familys where there would be a Male Master, a female slave and a male submissive/slave. It seems that biologically this would fit much better then the common Male-female-female.
I know it happens in the gay community but why not in the BDSM one.

This is a situation I'm currently considering with a male slave. We're both hetero and have no inclination of having any sexual relationship. We're hammering out what would be his sexual outlet. The prospects of letting him have a girlfriend and/or using my other two female slaves has come up, but I refuse to give a definitive yes or no until we've all met in person.

< Message edited by MrDiscipline44 -- 8/2/2007 9:45:43 AM >

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 12

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:45:19 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

I've also seen the he's Dom, she's Switch, he's her sub permutation from time to time.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 13

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:46:37 AM

SusanofO

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Grlwithboy: That was going to be my arrangement, with the Dom I mentioned before (above), too. - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2007 9:47:01 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 14

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:48:10 AM

submittous

Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
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We are a Dom/me couple and at times have had a single male slave, a single female slave, and sometimes if the stars are right and the gods smile we have had one of each.... I really don't agree with your premise that two males in a poly family is so unusual... Lots of us in M/s see our sexual orientation as top or bottom not hetero, bi or gay.

Bill

_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 15

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:53:02 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
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We were actually going to have a MMf poly family going on, but it has been put on hold. It had nothing to do with it working out, just outside circumstances. We are still open to it down the road with that person or another.

Both of the Doms in question worked out their place in the "food chain" (so to speak). My first Master, my husband, would have the final say if they disagreed, but I would know without a doubt they were both in charge and would do what they requested. I am sure there would be times they would have not agreed on things, but I honestly think that would have been rare. They both have good heads on their shoulders and don't mind talking things out and compromising.

I think like with anything else it takes lots of open communication and people willing to listen to the other point of view.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 16

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:56:31 AM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
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Most of the male dominants I have known consider themselves to be "insanely jealous" (their words).

I have always thought it would make more biological sense because most women are multi-orgasmic, whereas most of the males I have known, are not multi-orgasmic.

It works the other way if it is looked at from a procreation standpoint, one male can impregnate many females, whereas females can only carry 1 at a time, unless, it is multiple births like twins, triplets, ect. Since we need more females to get the job of creating life done, and you only need 1 male, that would make it more biological sense than the 2 males to 1 female.

I suppose it comes down to your prospective. I would much rather live in a household with 2 or 3 males, than I would more than 1 female, besides myself.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 17

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 9:57:36 AM

SusanofO

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I love your new pic, sleazybutterfly. It's really cute.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/2/2007 10:19:41 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 18

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 10:34:12 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelGorean

Call me old fashioned but I still beleive in 1 Dom 1 submissive. Very rarely do poly relationships work. There has to be alot of elements that work not just in your favor, but everybody's favor.

So far, in my own experience, I have seen where poly can and does work, but the only time I've seen it go smoothly and long-term is when the slave/s involved are of the mindset that they don't get a 'say' in the matter and are very happy to accept that.

To the OP: I do know and was involved with a dom/domme couple who kept both male and female slaves. Again, I think it's all in the mindset, not so much the biology of it. At least not from what I've seen.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to CruelGorean)

Post #: 19

RE: Poly relationships where there are 2 males - 8/2/2007 10:35:38 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I love your new pic, sleazybutterfly. It's really cute.

- Susan

I have to second that. (sorry for the tiny hijack)

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 20

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