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location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:35:40 AM   
ncbeachdom


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		Wouldn't life be easier and time be saved if people could put a more specific location than just the state they live in? D/s couplings are virtually impossible long-distance, so we have to seem stupid, shallow and insincere by leading with the question, "Where the hell are you in North Carolina, or California, or Texas..." I've finally come to presume that those who are afraid (or too lazy) to give a more specific vicinity are not seriously looking or too afraid of the lifestyle to be polite and adult. Question: Should Collarme prompt members to give others a bit better idea of where they reside than just "one of the 88 counties in "X" state?"
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:42:19 AM   
reticence


Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline 		Some of us live in very small towns.  I am pretty Internet naive and have, in the past, given out much more personal information than was safe or prudent.  A friend showed me that just given the town I live in and my first name, he could only find two people in my town with that first name that had a telephone listed.  I was one of those two people.  With just that information he about nailed who I am.  I am reluctant to give the name of my town since then.  If someone I dont know really well asks,  i might say north central part of the state, or something like that.  If collarme forced us to give our exact town, i would be gone..

(in reply to ncbeachdom)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:49:15 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbeachdom

Question: Should Collarme prompt members to give others a bit better idea of where they reside than just "one of the 88 counties in "X" state?"


The short answer to your question is "no."

The longer explanation is:

How presumptive of you to consider that your views, your willingness to be more open, your criteria for being that way is so much more correct than someone else's views, willingness or criteria. And how nice that you're doing this in your very first post.

There are any number of reasons someone may or may not include a more specific location for themselves. Just because where you are in your life might not be where they are in theirs does not make them afraid or lazy. What it does make them is cautious, responsible for their own decisions and determined to make choices for themselves that don't depend on making it easier for someone else along the way to find them if they choose not to be found by that person.

Just because you want things easier for YOU doesn't make them responsible to provide that service for you. In fact, it frankly speaks to your laziness that you can't be bothered to carry on a polite discussion with someone along the way to find out what you need to know but want everything handed to you at face value.

And that, my friend is neither polite, nor adult.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/29/2007 7:55:30 AM >

(in reply to ncbeachdom)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:51:56 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Well guess what? Some of us that are owned are guess where? Hmm with Master or Mistress. Some collared slaves such as myself aren't looking so my location isn't important. Maybe you are too lazy to do some research. What a way to make friends in N. C.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 7/29/2007 7:52:55 AM >

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:56:21 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I couldn't said it better Juliet.    I usually give a vague statement, like I'm near Royal Oak, or even I am about 20 Minutes from Detroit.  Why would you want to know more then that on a 1st or second conversation?

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:58:26 AM   
mountainpet


Posts: 40
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline 		If you are looking for a relationship, or someone to play with, it would make sense to give your location.  Otherwise, why would it matter?

(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:02:17 AM   
BrutalMasterOne


Posts: 53
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbeachdom

Wouldn't life be easier and time be saved if people could put a more specific location than just the state they live in? D/s couplings are virtually impossible long-distance,
WRONG! They work quite well if you KNOW what and how to do it. Then you can always move her to be with you. Actually it all goes back to needing to work to get what you need out of life.

(in reply to ncbeachdom)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:15:37 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I, for one, am with the OP on this one. It is actually a pet peeve of mine. I do understand that there are sometimes very good reasons for not listing exactly where you live, but that is no excuse for leaving it blank. If you live in a small town, use the nearest big city. At least this gives someone a general idea where you are.

When I was looking I wanted someone within an hour's drive at most. I growled whenever I saw the location as "Florida/Florida". How useless is that? This is a big state. I'm in Tampa. No use even bothering to talk to someone if it turns out they are in Miami, or Jacksonville. I almost always skipped over those people.

Now if you are already owned, then it becomes irrelevant, but if you are on here searching for a partner, I think you do yourself a huge disfavor by not listing, at least in a general, where you live.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:18:49 AM   
sirmagic


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Lexington Kentucky - Eastern PA
Status: offline 		Good day all.

The way I would run my site is you are forced to put at least the area of the state your in. In smaller states this doesn't matter but in larger ones it is a big issue. We would also suggest to the user "name your closest major city" if you live in a small town name one town over from you.  This would be the best overall compromise.

As a side note a feature the collarme software really needs currently is multi state listing.

For example, I live in Lexington KY currently. This places me one hour away from Cincinnati Ohio,  two hours from Indianapolis Indiana, 2 hours from Knoxville TN and 3 Hours from Nashville.  Well, it would be nice to have the option to list my profile in other bordering states without having to create multiple profiles to accomplish the same thing. To me multiple profiles smacks of game playing however in this system it's the only way you can do it. Which by the way as a disclaimer... I have two profiles this one Sirmagic which is my original and another Sirmagicky for where I live.

I can understand some individuals personal paranoia about someone finding out, (yes you're all special and they are all out to get you) but beyond that individuals not being more specific about where they live is a turn off to me to, especially in large states.


Sincerely


Magic




Sir Magic's Law #32:
To be at peace with ourselves,
we must first face our personal truths, be what they may.
For self-deception leads personal delusions,
and personal delusions, always ends in despair

Magic's World
http://www.darkangel.com

(in reply to reticence)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:40:34 AM   
tag8833


Posts: 67
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I'm 100% on board with this sentiment.  I don't care that you are from say moon, Wisconsin (pop 4).  I'm just asking people to give me a general idea like north central Wisconsin, or west of Green Bay.  If you aren't looking to meet people, there is a different place to specify that.  It somewhat boggles my mind.
I mean consider someone who lives near the border of a couple of states.  Someone from one of the states could be 6 hours or more away, and he feels bad immediately asking where they are from, because that is likely to alienate many people.

(in reply to sirmagic)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:40:55 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirmagic

Good day all.

The way I would run my site is you are forced to put at least the area of the state your in. In smaller states this doesn't matter but in larger ones it is a big issue. We would also suggest to the user "name your closest major city" if you live in a small town name one town over from you.  This would be the best overall compromise.

As a side note a feature the collarme software really needs currently is multi state listing.

For example, I live in Lexington KY currently. This places me one hour away from Cincinnati Ohio,  two hours from Indianapolis Indiana, 2 hours from Knoxville TN and 3 Hours from Nashville.  Well, it would be nice to have the option to list my profile in other bordering states without having to create multiple profiles to accomplish the same thing. To me multiple profiles smacks of game playing however in this system it's the only way you can do it. Which by the way as a disclaimer... I have two profiles this one Sirmagic which is my original and another Sirmagicky for where I live.

I can understand some individuals personal paranoia about someone finding out, (yes you're all special and they are all out to get you) but beyond that individuals not being more specific about where they live is a turn off to me to, especially in large states.


Sincerely


Magic








Sir Magic's Law #32:
To be at peace with ourselves,
we must first face our personal truths, be what they may.
For self-deception leads personal delusions,
and personal delusions, always ends in despair

Magic's World
http://www.darkangel.com


lol...so tell me exactly how this would work. If I don't want to put the name of my city or town on a profile, just how are you going to know - it being your site and all - that that's correct? I can easily say any number of cities and towns around my state. They might be correct or they might not - and just how does that give someone any information that might get them closer to knowing where I live? Frankly, if the choice is to lie or just not say, I'd rather not say, but if you force the issue and I feel it's in my best interests NOT to have a location listed that's near to me, then I'm going to lie. It's that simple. And you can call me any name you wish. My ability to feel safe is not within your decision making power.

And as far as people's supposed "paranoia"... unless you've everyone's ex-spouses, or employer, you have no way of knowing whether they're being paranoid or very cognizant of the fact that those folks could and would do harm if given half the chance. In fact, unless you're willing to provide what people perceive they may lose to giving out that information, then you have no right to make those decisions for them. And no way to enforce your wishes - even if it is your own site.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/29/2007 8:45:03 AM >

(in reply to sirmagic)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 8:52:22 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Yes when you looking to meet/hook up, having a more specific location helps.  But until that point, why? I mean say I am talking to a sub in Grand Rapids for the 1st time, and he asks me where I live, telling him that I live near Royal Oak, should be enough of a reference so he can figure out if he wants to drive down to see me.  Usually when I see a profile that has a vague location or just the name of the state, it is of someone who is Owned/dating/not looking.  And OP I certainly hope that you aren't one of those guys whose one liner email is "where you from?"

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:07:03 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		k,, so how is one to really know if it is your town or not ,, this is a system develped onhonor and trust,, i for one am glad that i dont nor does anyone else have to put the exact place or town  that one lives in, for there are some pretty strange people out there both male and female,,
as it is ,, if one wants to know something ,, it goes back to the simplest thing,, Just Ask, and if they feel like it they will tell you,,
and that is fine with me ,, brings about part of the suspense and helps build the Trust which is a bi issue with most people ,, i know it is with me

MasterMataeo


(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:11:44 AM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline 		The answer to this is very simple (The searching part). There's a feature on some sites where you can ask that it return names/profiles within a certain distance of your location. However, I have found that the distances are not always dead-bang on and that can (or can't) be something of an issue.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

Editted to add: This, of course, only works well with a previous poster's suggestion that the people filling out profiles be willing to put, at least a near-by town/city. I have always looked at it this way: If one of your neighbors says: "Oh, I saw you on Collarme.", invite them over for coffee!

< Message edited by Satyr6406 -- 7/29/2007 9:13:46 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:14:02 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbeachdom

Wouldn't life be easier and time be saved if people could put a more specific location than just the state they live in? D/s couplings are virtually impossible long-distance, so we have to seem stupid, shallow and insincere by leading with the question, "Where the hell are you in North Carolina, or California, or Texas..." I've finally come to presume that those who are afraid (or too lazy) to give a more specific vicinity are not seriously looking or too afraid of the lifestyle to be polite and adult. Question: Should Collarme prompt members to give others a bit better idea of where they reside than just "one of the 88 counties in "X" state?"


You can put a city on your profile on CM if you choose.  But it is an option and not a requirement.

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:17:41 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		LOL!  Finally, someone who "gets" that we are all special and they are out to get us.

(in reply to sirmagic)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:19:21 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		When I first started exploring the lifestyle, I had a profile on Alt which required that I enter my zipcode.  This would have identified me as living in a very small college town in which I was a professor, and I was not willing to take that risk.  So I put the zipcode of a town about half an hour away and whenever I was corresponding with anyone with the possibility of meeting, I would let them know this, or I would drive to meet them in the town I had specified on my profile. 

(in reply to Satyr6406)
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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:41:30 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		In thinking further about it...

Seems to me the OP is just wanting another shortcut so he doesn't "waste his time."

As Winnie-the-Pooh would say... "Oh Bother!"

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 10:40:33 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong with giving a general idea of the area you live in, especially when you live in a really large state like the OP does.  Even in little New Jersey, where I live, some people in NYC assume they can just drive over the GWB and party.  In reality, it's over that bridge, and then three hours directly south.  That's not really conducive for "dating"/getting to know someone real time.   I just don't see what's so outrageous about his request. 

I don't see why anyone would get all twisted up about just saying "northeast Ohio" or "near Cleveland".  It doesn't exactly pinpoint your neighborhood.  And it helps someone who lives near Cincinnati to rule that area out if they aren't willing to start a relationship with someone five hours away. 

If you're a female concerned about privacy and security and have an unusual first name, use your initial if you have your name listed at all.  I always kept mine unlisted.  Back in "the day", females almost always used their initial in their phone listing for security reasons.  

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 10:53:29 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbeachdom

Wouldn't life be easier and time be saved if people could put a more specific location than just the state they live in? D/s couplings are virtually impossible long-distance,


Uhhh.... no.

It's no more work then any old long-distence relationship. Just both people have to be willing to put in the effort to make it work. And it's a lot of effort.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BrutalMasterOne)
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