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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 11:06:14 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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A) A lot of people DO put their city in their profile
B) If you want to know, ask

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 11:15:41 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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Just throwing out there - I can drive for 10 hours and still be in the and not have left the province.

And considering I live in "central" Ontario.

I'll put it this way, though. If you're seeking, it is easier for the other party if you give them an idea of where you live, give or take an hour's drive. Not saying you have to, but it makes it easier for them. Much like if you want to sell your car, not saying what year it is makes it a bit harder for the buyer, and he may decide that you must have something to hide. You're selling a product, so sell it.

If you're not seeking, tell someone you live in within an 8 hour flight of NYC, for all I care.

Yours,

benji

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 11:23:13 AM

ThudBaby

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncbeachdom

Question: Should Collarme prompt members to give others a bit better idea of where they reside than just "one of the 88 counties in "X" state?"

The short answer to your question is "no."

The longer explanation is:

How presumptive of you to consider that your views, your willingness to be more open, your criteria for being that way is so much more correct than someone else's views, willingness or criteria. And how nice that you're doing this in your very first post.

There are any number of reasons someone may or may not include a more specific location for themselves. Just because where you are in your life might not be where they are in theirs does not make them afraid or lazy. What it does make them is cautious, responsible for their own decisions and determined to make choices for themselves that don't depend on making it easier for someone else along the way to find them if they choose not to be found by that person.

Just because you want things easier for YOU doesn't make them responsible to provide that service for you. In fact, it frankly speaks to your laziness that you can't be bothered to carry on a polite discussion with someone along the way to find out what you need to know but want everything handed to you at face value.

And that, my friend is neither polite, nor adult.

juliet

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 11:44:06 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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It is appallingly easy to find info on people. I was once stalked by some guy in Fla. Being the little nerd that I am, I stalked him back. When he found out how easily he was tracked back, he demanded I leave him alone. LOL All I did was what he did to me, only I told him I was doing it. Shortly thereafter, his sn disappeared.
For people living in small towns it is wiser not to post your city name. But I don't have too much of an issue posting my county. Unless you have a really unique name there will be more names than people want to track down. Or, you could be like me, and not use your first name, ever.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: reticence

A friend showed me that just given the town I live in and my first name, he could only find two people in my town with that first name that had a telephone listed. I was one of those two people. With just that information he about nailed who I am.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 1:15:42 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
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I live in an extremely small town, and although the county is larger, I would not list that either. I don't do so for the same reason that I don't have a photo, and use only an initial in my posts. Without going into a lot of detail, custody issues. And remaining discreet for that reason is much more important to me than the inconvenience a Dom would have to go through taking the thirty seconds to type "May I ask where exactly You're located?" in an email or IM. Frankly, if something that minor is that huge of an issue, it probably isn't someone I'd want to be involved with anyway. Call me "afraid" or "lazy" or "not seriously looking" or "paranoid" all you like, I'd rather be any of those things with custody, then losing it for not being cautious and having an ex who's vindictive. Just my two cents, as always...

-a

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 1:32:12 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
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The name of my town is probably one in which most would go "huh? where is that?" .... I do have a town that is near me (within 15 minutes drive) listed.I used to have my exact town listed. I started talking to a guy on here, he lived in my town, I had a picture up too.... I work in a place that I deal with random people from the time I punch out to the time I punch in... As I was ringing a guy out, he handed me a check and happened to have the same first name. It wasn't him (if he was telling the truth) and I realized how easy it would be with my town, name, and picture to find me. I changed my town, and took down my pictures.

I don't start talking to people with the assumption that we are going to def meet. When and if that time comes, is the ONLY time he should take into consideration where I live.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 1:52:12 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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If someone is looking, it seems a little coy to not have a more precise location than his/her state. I think there are ways of indicating location without giving yourself away. It's not an either/or thing. When someone gets in touch with me from Pennsylvania, one of the first things I ask is where he lives or how far he is from my location. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable revealing personal info, but I also want to know if someone is 10 minutes away or 5 hours away. It's pragmatism.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 3:53:14 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
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I'm not sure I understand any of the hostility, the OP's suggestion/question is perfectly reasonable. It does make sense that if you have a matchmaking site of some sort you make it somewhat more straightforward to find who is near you so you don't waste both your own and other people's time and energy messaging folks who are impractical to become involved with.

I know most sites ask for a zip code so they can do distance estimations, but that doesn't mean they have to publish your zipcode or require it to register. Obviously if you want to provide it, bully for you, if not, then don't.

It would certainly make more sense to be able to search for "females looking for dominant men within 200 miles" than the way the searches are now.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 3:59:46 PM

PairOfDimes

Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
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Yes, some more precise location is good, and probably especially important for big states. I understand why you wouldn't want to put your exact city, especially if it's a small town--too easy to accidentally run into your neighbor on here, and perhaps not really helpful for others evaluating you. But putting a nearby big city, or noting a region in the profile, can be helpful.

For myself, like most people around Boston, I don't live in the city proper, but I'm in a nearby suburb accessible by public transportation--exactly which suburb likely won't make a great difference in compatibility, so I say "Boston."

One way to avoid seeming foolish when asking for a more precise location might be by giving one's own. "I live near San Francisco. Are you in the Bay Area, too?" You could also remark on the bigness of the state and quantify the distance you're willing to travel, and say that if the other person doesn't live within or isn't willing to travel within that distance, you're sad to say that you won't be very compatible.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 4:57:54 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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my location pet peeve is people that can't update their profile after moving...i have stopped even responding to the i-have-lived-in-San-Antonio-for-30-years-but-my-profile-still-says-NY-cause-thats-where-i-was-born emails...i don't know if its a hoax, but at the least its an idiot...

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 5:44:13 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) A lot of people DO put their city in their profile
B) If you want to know, ask

I think that is too much work for him. He wants all the submissives to flock to him.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 6:40:31 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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If it wasn't against TOS I'd put my name, address and phone number on my profile.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 6:59:05 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) A lot of people DO put their city in their profile
B) If you want to know, ask

I think that is too much work for him. He wants all the submissives to flock to him.

quote:

I spent a bit of time filling out this exhaustive profile but I will not spend any time on this site. If you are interested--or feel you know someone who might be a "good fit" -by all means send them this profile and have them contact me.

I am in agreement with you sweetnurseBBW, maybe that is too much work for him.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:24:30 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

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Joined: 7/15/2006
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With one exception I don't really have a problem with people being vague about their precise location, Privacy is an issue for some while it's not for others. My own profile is local without being precise by stating that I am in SE Michigan. That pretty much narrows it down to an hour's driving time or so and is precise enough until things become personal.

My one exception to this is when a profile says, "Local Only" and then lists their location as Texas or Florida or some other huge state. If you are only looking to be contacted by locals then your profile needs to narrow that down to whatever area you consider local.

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 7:51:05 PM

feastie

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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Is it such a hardship to pass a couple emails with someone and then find out where they are?

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RE: location, location, location...? - 7/29/2007 9:06:32 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Sadly, but for some, it's a matter of not identifying themselves openly....for legit reasons. I have friends who have lost custody cases based on BDSM. I know others who have lost jobs. Being out isn't the way to go for everyone.

It's also a safety issue for some who live in a small town. Even in a large town, I've have Fem Dom freinds be stalked by potential subs who found them online.

Master Fire

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