Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

The TRUTH?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> The TRUTH? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:10:11 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		.. you (might not be able to) HANDLE the Truth!
 
Be honest guys.. what drew you to D/s? 
 
The promise of a female that would do whatever you want, never say no and multiple sex partners?
 
Were you drawn by a need to teach and nurture another for their self improvement? 
 
Ladies- your turn:
 
What drew you?  Same questions as above.
 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:15:53 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		The easy answer would be.... a woman.

The more complex answer would be......the intensity of this type of relationship and the way it pushes me to be better. In another relationship I feel like I can coast, kinda do it on auto-pilot. Hold alot of myself back. With this, I feel more responsible, stronger and more complete. It makes me feel more like me, if that makes any sense.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:16:13 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Neither.
To fulfill a need and craving to submit to another and thus gaining a sense of being more "complete."

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:17:08 PM   
cumulus


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I understand the question. I wasn't drawn to D/s. I live it. It's me. It's my life. It's my vanilla. It's my kink. It just is.
 
Coincidentally, there's a microcosm of the world that shares my interests. It happens to have a label or two. One of them is "D/s".


_____________________________

Regards,
Cumulus

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:17:35 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		About 5-6 years ago (I forget how long ago, exactly) I accidentally found a site on the Internet about BDSM. It was the "DungeonNet" site. I was fascinated by it, and I just kept reading - all night long. It sounded like such a turn-on, I actually ended up doing things I wouldn't normally do to see if I would really appreciate BDSM. Like arranging to meet someone I didn't know that well at all, really, who wanted to "play with me". It felt wonderful  to me - I felt totally wonderful "scening" for the first time. It felt like something I'd been missing for years had "clicked" into place, finally. I've been hooked ever since.

I am a Switch, so I will first tell why I wanted to be a submissive: I loved the feeling of someone over-powering me, and being in a position to inflict some pain. I am also drawn by certain aspects of Humiliation, and non-sexual service. I dunno why, I really don't. I've felt this way since I was about 10 years old, though. I like taking care of people. It's just who I am, I guess. I actually like cooking, cleaning, and housework-type stuff (am I nuts? hehe). In that context, the idea of doing it as part of a power-exchange, it's a real turn-on for me, for some reason.

The way BDSM melds with sex just is so delicious to me, really. It's fantastic. I don't really think I will ever look at "Vanilla" sex tha same way again (although I can occasionally enjoy "Vanilla" sex). 

I really love the idea of being protected and cared for. I really, truly appreciate that aspect of Mascunility (for me anyway, I am straight), whether it comes from male Doms, or male subs.

I have no brothers, only sisters, in my family-of-origin, and while I love my real father dearly, and he's a great guy (he really, truly is), he was never what I'd call "over-protective" - so maybe I missed that while growing up, and I am now "making up for it" somehow, I dunno. I also liked the idea of being able to emotionally lean on someone I know would (supposedly) have my best interests at heart. 

As far as occasionally being drawn to wanting to act as a FemDom, my reasoning is: What's not to like? I mean Geez - having a guy around who is that into you, and willing and wanting to please you all the time? I also appreciate FemDom because I have "bossy" aspects to my personality that don't seem to get quelled totally, even when I am in "sub" mode.

I guess "bossy" isn't the right word. Maybe "decisive" is the right word, because I am not obnoxious about expressing my opinion, really. As a FemDom, I can just let that "side" of me out, and not worry about it, as that aspect of my personality then seems to have an acceptable, even very appreciated, "outlet".

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/27/2007 2:54:13 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:19:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I grew up this way.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:20:29 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		BDSM fanatasies were the first attraction, more the roleplay type than being whipped.  A woman i know, knew i had these thoughts, and taught me all about D/s. My first recollection of anything slightly into BDSM was a girlfriend who bit my tongue if i tried to kiss her, yet we both knew i would keep trying. She enjoyed teasing and i think i enjoyed the pain just a tad.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:22:28 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Ladies- your turn:
 
What drew you?  Same questions as above.
 


Sex. Then I realized I liked the lifestyle aspect as well.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:24:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well there's the "I have no idea, I've always been kinky" answer.

Then there's the "Looking for cybersex OMG this is so awesome and hot and fun" answer.

And then there's the "OMG I can have it ALL?  Poly?  Kink?  Service?  Sex? YES!" answer.

All are true.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:25:29 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Life.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:30:35 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

.. you (might not be able to) HANDLE the Truth!
 
Be honest guys.. what drew you to D/s? 
 
The promise of a female that would do whatever you want, never say no and multiple sex partners?
 
Were you drawn by a need to teach and nurture another for their self improvement? 
 
Ladies- your turn:
 
What drew you?  Same questions as above.
 


I didn't think I was good enough for normal people.. so the freaks, pervs and deviants where all that I had left and it was better than nothing. It took awhile, but I discovered that freaks, pervs and deviants were a pretty good bunch of people and actually more normal than most of the normals!  Well, that and the pirates.  I read way too much Rosemary Rogers as a kid.  You know, being forced to do exactly what you want to do but not having to be responsible for wanting it. Back then, that worked really well for me.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:34:13 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

The promise of a female that would do whatever you want, never say no?
 
Were you drawn by a need to teach and nurture another for their self improvement? 



Its a mixture of both of these, minus the multiple sex partners part.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:40:06 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		My very first sexual experiences were kinky and that just set the tone to it all. Vanilla does nothing more than bore me. It's bad when you start reading a book mid-fuck, but the humiliation aspect did make it enjoyable in that regard :D

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:42:16 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I have been submissive my whole life but learned very early on that I had to take care of myself, cover up that part of me and take charge of my life, Dominate my way through my world and my circumstances so that no one could hurt me. I couldn't figure out what that ache was, that sorrow, that missing piece which I tried to cover up with negative vices. It gnawed at me, constantly. I couldn't drink it away, smoke it away, pill it away, or fuck it away.

Then an inadvertant statement from a man I didn't know was a Dom (until that moment) cemented it all. It all fit. I found peace - at last. I am simply submissive, and now I embrace it, celebrate it, ~wallow~ in it because it is so glorious.

The kink is a bonus.

< Message edited by slaveish -- 7/27/2007 2:45:22 PM >

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 2:56:32 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

The kink is a bonus.


I feal the same way.

Although...only some of it was a bonus.

A lot of "being a Top" was almost a chore to me and led to me losing interest in actually practicing and scening.

M/S is where my desire has always lied and the kinky sex that revolves around it is the icing on the cake.

P.S. I would have given some longer, deeper responses to these questions about how M/S strings cords in my own soul, but I am simply too tired from the gym..

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/27/2007 2:57:47 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 3:36:17 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I read way too much Rosemary Rogers as a kid.  
Celeste



LOL... i read all her books as well as Johanna Lindsay. 

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 4:09:03 PM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		 
 
My father and mother.  The dynamics that I drew up in and was raised by, was watching them and the roles they had in our household..> my Dad was very much a dominant and a patriarch of the family..  He was strong and secure and in control of himself and his surroundings..  a quiet commanding presence .  My mother was very much the strong, supportive submissive to his dominance, making his home, take care of the children, have his dinner on the table and slippers at his chair when he got home from work, kind of dynamic....she took care of his needs and he provided for her and his family.....  obviously I am not talking about the sex part.. it was the emotional and mental  dynamic, it was natural to them ( it was the 50s also LOL  days of june and ward clever and wally and the beav  households.. )
 
Interestingly enough> I didnt marry a man like that.....WANTED one like that ...but instead I " found" a wounded bird who needed me..and who I could "take care of".......
sigh... 
ya years of therapy about that one ..but I finally could understand why I did what I did..and chose what I chose...
 
 
anyway..I digress..
 
and in my 30s I worked with a woman, we were friends in the office...close...and she invited me to her home one weekend.....she was married to a wonderful man, and she was a wonderful woman, they had a great relationship>  when I spent time with them together I saw " THE DYNAMIC " ...didnt know the term for it...didnt know anything about bdsm... but what I saw was a deep respect for one another, an obvious role dynamic that made me think of my parents love and devotion to one another > and the man ( her husband ) pushed a button in my brain that I didnt even know was there ( and he obviously didnt mean to do it ) ..
I couldnt wait to get to work that next week to ask a zillion questions about what I had seen in their household and learn more about her "way" of responding to him...why she did what she did? and why I felt it between my ears as well as my thighs when I watched it taking place...
lol
I was so glad she didnt get offended..and I am forever in her debt for answering every last one of my silly probing questions..
 
so I came to " the lifestyle" through the back door I guess..
the mental and emotional dynamic>  rather than the whips and chains and sex stuff..
that came later ....grinz.
 
great question...thanks for asking it..
 
Cyndi
 

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 4:15:26 PM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

.. you (might not be able to) HANDLE the Truth!
 
Be honest guys.. what drew you to D/s? 
 
The promise of a female that would do whatever you want, never say no and multiple sex partners?
 
Were you drawn by a need to teach and nurture another for their self improvement? 
 
Ladies- your turn:
 
What drew you?  Same questions as above.
 



lets see what drew me in to D/s, well at first i would have to say it was shortly after my first sexual encounter,, for my first one was a bit aggressive, both ways,, and well afterward her and i talked about it and realized that we both liked it rough and continued to experiment from there,, and i found out shortly after hat that I rather enjoyed being Dominate,, and she found out she was a Switch and was Bi
but it could have gone back to as far as second grade ,, when there was that cute girl on the playground ,, and she said catch me if you can ,, and when you did she said ,, now what,, who knows,,,
I was drawn to it by the experimentation and the open-mindedness with the knowledge of history that most great cultures had some form of BDSM within them
and that ours is no different so why not give it a try,, for as the saying goes,,,
"Try anything once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, Four makes it a habit, and five...a Fetish"
so all in all it was for a mixture of both reasons, for self improvement by teaching one and by learning myself from the teachings that i give and the the teachings  even a sub/slave can teach a Master/ess//Dom/me, and that is my opinion and experience  and for the mental and sexual stimulation of knowing that the sub/slave is doing it as a gift of pleasure and need as well As I am giving the Gift of Dominance as well as fulfilling that primal need,, but as said, not just for myself,, for I believe as well that for a healthy relationship  things are like a Ying to a Yang,, there must be that balance for my interior harmony and the same for my ideal sub/salve, to allow the ability to be in harmony with each other and ones self,,
for a Fulfilling relationship


hope that makes sense,,


MasterMataeo 

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 4:19:11 PM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		I am soft spoken in nature. I have always thought of a dominant woman as being beautiful and sexy. I enjoy having the woman to lead and for me to follow her.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The TRUTH? - 7/27/2007 4:43:59 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

.. you (might not be able to) HANDLE the Truth!
 
Be honest guys.. what drew you to D/s? 
 
The promise of a female that would do whatever you want, never say no and multiple sex partners?
 
Were you drawn by a need to teach and nurture another for their self improvement? 
 
Ladies- your turn:
 
What drew you?  Same questions as above.
 


There are a few things,the 1st being the need to teach.
I was shown a path (finally) when I read a book called
The Good Girls Guide to Female Dominance... It opened My eyes to
what and who I am. Not to mention the courage to do it.
Then the P/people I met drew Me in further.
Now the more I practice My talents the more I want to do them.
The better I get at those the more I want to delve deeper.

While sometimes I do need the break I mentioned elsewhere..
I cant stay away completely.

the more I love it

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> The TRUTH? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078