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How long? - 7/20/2007 5:20:30 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

You have SUCH a dirty mind! I mean how long have your bdsm relationships lasted and how did it end?

I have had the handful of one night/week/month relationships but my only collared submissive and I were together more or less for three years, ended badly, it was sort of like the most blissful car wreck you can imagine, half bliss have rendering boyd parts.

My ex and I a bit long longer, over three years, started off ugly, I got better and it became pretty wonderful and we split because she wanted children and I didn't. We are still dear friends and talk often.

The relationship I am in now is about four months old and wonderful A few fights but they have been handled pretty much drama free and have led to being closer and more intimate but more importantly worked out the kinks in our communication in ways that greatly reduce friction and enhance us. All is going well, I see her again in less than two weeks. Together there are no problems.

Post #: 1

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 5:49:30 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

My only BDSM relationship has lasted more than two years. It is getting quite close to three years since we first crossed paths and started getting to know each other and there is no end in sight. Hopefully, that day will come far in the future with him holding my hand as I take my last breath. That seems like a pretty good ending for us.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 2

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:16:14 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

They all lasted as long as I wanted them to which generally was not very long. I had a wonderfully happy house with 2 girls who worshipped the ground I walked on and one morning I got up and was done.

Truth was I never wanted strictly a slave/submissive as my primary relationship. My current partner has finally unleashed that dominant side several knew was there and we function wonderfully as a Dominant Couple. This relationship is everything I ever hoped and dreamed for. We play and interact with others but if we never added a sub/slave to the house I would be perfectly happy with the way things are. This has been 20 months and thats a hell of a long time for me.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 7/20/2007 6:17:06 PM >

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 3

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:17:11 PM

submittous

Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline

We have been together20 years, we met thru a personals ad in an adult paper. She was a sub looking for a Dom. Much has changed over the years, we are now co-Doms seeking a slave or two but we are still happy to be together and have each other... some bdsm relationships have longevity.

Bill and Iris

_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 4

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:23:27 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Ive had several BDSM relationships over the years. Angel is my first collared pet, and he and I are going on a year in September. Kitten is leaving me around that time, becasue he is going away to school and I dont think keeping him while is he away in a brand new place meeting brand new people is terribly fair.
My longest former BDSM relationship was with a girl named Michelle (who was briefly a member here and might or might not still be) who was well on her way to being collared. HOWEVER when we became poly, she took it upon herself to discipline my boy for somethign she thought was an offense, without consulting me. The boy ws brand new to the scene, and ran away from it after that experience. She was dismissed for it, and obviously spent years mooning over me until she foud Angel on here and started talking to him. That was wierd.
Most of the others in the interim were weeks or months long, but nothing significant.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to PlayfulOne)

Post #: 5

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:33:30 PM

Vampyress33

Posts: 32
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline

Most of mine tend to last about a year. My longest has been 3 years, and it was my first Dom. I'm hoping the Master i have is the last one. Right now it's only a few months old.. so we'll see. So far there hasn't been any real communcation issues between us. We've been able to talk about anything/everything.

It's been nice to be able to say something, and not have someone twist words around to suit them, which i've had in the past.

_____________________________

www.serenityfields.com
Hand poured soy candles, lotions, scrubs & more

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 6

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:35:35 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

I've had three BDSM relationships where a collar was involved. (I'm not counting play partners and there's too many of those to count anyway.)

The first one was three years in duration and ended because I killed him.

Okay, not quite literally, though I'm convinced to this day that I contributed to his demise. I used to be quite good at pissing people off .. and, well, he did have high blood pressure (a fact he failed to disclose to me).

The second was ended by mutual agreement. He wanted me to be his full-time dominant seeing things in me that he wanted to see rather than what's really in there. Technically, it lasted almost three years, but truly, it was only a year when I was submitting to his will.. then a year when I was supposed to be trying to learn how to appreciate the other side while he topped from the bottom then the last 8 or 10 months was pretty much him trying to convince me that I was a dom and should be his dom.

The current relationship I share with Himself is in the neighborhood of twelve years with no end in sight. It's 95% perfect, 3% what the fuck and 2% pinch me I must be dreaming because being pretty much stupid-happy all the time wasn't in any of the manuals I read on real life.

That 3% what the fuck is what keeps it all honest for us.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 7

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:39:30 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

my relationship with Daddy is nearing a year and will be permanently forever unlike my "do me" dom relationships that were on and off for months

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Vampyress33)

Post #: 8

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 6:51:01 PM

fadedlace

Posts: 137
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Louisiana
Status: offline

Long M/s relationship first, 18 1/2 years together, 17 as slave...some exploring in BDSM after, a few short-term ones *1-6 months each* for around 2 years...then a 5-year one with 3+ years collared as his slave...a year of searching after that... the last was 6 1/2 years, the last year of it I can't say I was really his submissive anymore. Each one desired different actions and behaviors and those changed over time - one used to laughingly refer to me as his chameleon.

The years flew by, mostly happily with some large and small bumps in the road.

The last year's been strange, belonging to no one and seeing no one...but it's been my choice. If I have another BDSM relationship I hope it's until my breath and life are gone.

(edited to correct typo)

< Message edited by fadedlace -- 7/20/2007 6:52:01 PM >

(in reply to Vampyress33)

Post #: 9

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:03:03 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

First one (with marriage) 5 yrs. We were married for 7, but I was sub for only 5 of those years.
Second one, 5 yrs, but on and off for a total of 12 years.
The last one, 7 yrs.. no, 6 years and the last year we switched roles.
Except for my ex husband I am still in contact and friends with my former dominants.
I don't do drama breakups.
Kyst

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 7/20/2007 7:40:41 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 10

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:15:30 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
You have SUCH a dirty mind! I mean how long have your bdsm relationships lasted and how did it end?

First lasted 7 years, from 1977-1984. Ended with divorce, after He violated my trust.

Second lasted 1 year, from 1989 - 1990. Ended after He beat me out of a fit of rage.

Third and fourth lasted 3 and 4 years, respectively, and overlapped, between 1993 - 1997. Both ended after i realized that i needed to be a fully owned slave in a 24/7 TPE relationship and neither of them were interested in that.

Fifth and current relationship has now lasted for 19 months and is a TPE M/s relationship that is everything i hoped it would be and so much more.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 11

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:24:54 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

My longest Ds relationship is my current one -- almost 8 years now.

Before that my longest one was 18 months -- he hated his job, got a better one, and moved. We parted as friends but frankly over time he stopped emailing or snail mailing us back and I decided years ago that I don't do any type of relationship that is one-way so he's not part of my friend category any more.

Most of my Ds relationships end that way, over time just stop talking as much because one of us moves on to another state or city.

My most traumatic break up was with a .... person who I knew, trained, and owned over the course of 11 months. This was the first person I had vaginal-penile sex with other than my husband so when the nasty break up happened (turned out he and his wife had serious problems they decided to take out on us) it really turned me off to those types of sexual acts with anyone other than my husband.

It also turned me off to anyone who has a prior partnership or domestic responsibilities. The result is that I don't consider anyone who isn't single any more and I don't consider anyone with ums who are still living at home. If I'm going to be the owner then I want first place in their life.

It also taught me to ask more questions about people who claim to be poly. Frankly the above couple was not poly in any positive sense. They used other relationships in a sort of competition with each other and if one had a break up they would force the other to break up. They were pretty good actors though.

It also taught me to ask for community feedback about a person. Maybe it was lies but post that relationship I had a lot of people in the local bdsm group and munch tell me that he was a weasle and that she was a total psycho and when I inquired why they never said any thing to me, they simply said "you didn't ask me". Now I ask.

It also made me more of a my way or no way sort of dominant. I made some ritual and rules decisions that person above wanted then it turned out he used those extra things to try and tell me that I was abusive to him. Nope, we do the rituals and rules I think are important and now more -- don't like it, there's my door don't let it hit your ass on the way out.

It took Fox 5 years to get through all the walls I put up after the above meltdown though my slave before him, Faith, helped get me back into personal Ds relationships with his gentle approach and complete honesty.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 12

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:33:09 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Keeping in mind that I am married to a relatively vanilla woman, (now going on our 23rd year) you can probably surmise that most of my BDSM relationships have been temporary arrangements. The longest lasted 4 years. It ended because I was moving out of state. The others lasted anywhere from two or three sessions, to almost three years. I'm happy to say that all but one ended on friendly terms. The one that didn't, well... I have to admit, I was the one who fucked it up. (She asked me to fulfill a certain fantasy, I wasn't sure if I could cope with it, and by the time I psyched myself up for trying, she had moved on.)

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 13

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:39:35 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

My first one lasted 8 years and ended when I took my collar back due to his cheating/lying. Once the foundation of trust is gone I see no reason to keep on going.

My second one lasted 2 years with a much younger man who wanted to explore BDSM. He felt he was submissive and at first it seemed so, but as time went on he became more difficult to deal with. It finally came to the point where he wanted to be the Dominant and told me he wanted me to "change" myself to be submissive. He obviously did not understand anything about personalities. I said no way, cya later.

I am on my third relationship now and its lasted 2 1/2 years so far. I hope to keep this one as he is someone very special to me and he says the same about me.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 14

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 7:57:40 PM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

The first one lasted about a year and ended because it was supposed to. It ended on a very good note. It was not a romantic relationship, however... more of a teacher/student sort of arrangement.

The second relationship lasted for a little more than two years, was terribly rocky, and ended quite badly.

The third relationship has been the charm, apparently. It's been over three years, we're married, I'm on my way to being utterly enslaved and everything just keeps getting better.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 15

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 8:50:40 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Collared relationships:
1st (full collar) lasted about six months. I ended it poorly. I later apologized to him AND his new Mistress. She had to deal with the scar I left.
2nd (full collar) lasted just over two years. We ended well and still talk today (in fact, I'm chatting with him now).
3rd (trial collar...what I call preliminary these days) lasted about two months. I had just gotten divorced and neglected her by dating a lot of people. We are still friendly and chat when we see each other thanks to her being strong enough to express herself when I behaved poorly.
4th (Lifetime collar) is ongoing and has been about a year and a half after a year of 'getting to know each other'. When she petitioned me for a collar, I had a "hit": she will die in my collar. she had a "hit": I'm her last Master. (Remember that she's about 20 years older than me.) We have committed to a lifetime bond, even if the collar comes off.
5th (preliminary collar) was about 4 months. I gave the collar for the wrong reasons. I've since taken it back and we still have a relationship. he knows there is a place in my household when he's ready to ask for it.
6th (preliminary collar) was, again, about 2 months. Basically, she fell in love with someone else who was also kinky and asked to be released. We're friends and are going to be roommates.

Master Fire

My marriages:
1st lasted almost 10 years. It ended when I was so hurt by his neglect I couldn't recover. We don't talk since he deliberately ruined my credit.
2nd lasted 4 years 'dating' and 3 married. It ended when we couldn't agree on alcohol and children issues. We talk several times a month.

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 16

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 9:25:20 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

5 years in August.

54 to go.

I promised I'd make it. He promised he would too. That's good enough for me.

juliet

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 17

RE: How long? - 7/20/2007 10:52:19 PM

TennesseeRain

Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2006
Status: offline

I have been collared for 4 years to my first, current, and only Master.

_____________________________

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 18

RE: How long? - 7/21/2007 12:15:33 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

My first and only collar so far was for 6 years and ended when he was killed in a motorcycle accident 12 years ago last Saturday. I would like to think we would still be together if that hadn't happened.

Since then I've had 3 long term subs but none that I have collared. One was for 3 years that I still talk to off and on. he moved out of state. Another p/t off and on for 2 years at the same time. I would still talk to him but we've lost touch. The last was for almost 5 years. I've had the odd one time only meets here and there but they are few and far between.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 19

RE: How long? - 7/21/2007 5:39:42 AM

onthenosetone

Posts: 118
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

13 years so far.....and stronger today than ever before......

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

Post #: 20

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