RE: divine, anticipate, intuition

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: divine, anticipate, intuition

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/21/2007 10:16:43 PM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

with me and alcohol i would run. i don't drink and i would prefer my Dom not drink at all. But if he can handle an occasional drink thats fine by me.
If He cannot communicate with me while sober and only drunk i am gone. i had a relative that drank and was verbally abusive drunk and sober. I would get threatened with being slapped in the face. I couldn't run because it was my Dad and i wasn't old enough to be out on my own.

I HATE alcohol and what it does to some people!!!!

(in reply to mythi)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/22/2007 12:36:36 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Anticipate needs? Does this mean having dinner ready at 7:00, or does this mean knowing when he wants to be rolled over as to avoid bed rash?

Look, you need to figure out what's expected of you. If it's unrealistic, a good Dom would fix it. If it's not realistic, and he doesn't fix it- then he's not a good Dom. A sub isn't a caretaker- you are supposed to do as instructed. In the absense of instruction, there's no D/s, so far as I'm concerned, and certainly no M/s.

(in reply to lilfemme23)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/22/2007 3:12:48 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilfemme23

Something else i don't want to have to start a new thread for would be is it normal to feel kind of lost when i'm not given direction and purpose?

i do, definitely. one of my hangups is that i need to know exactly where i stand with someone, i need the definition of the relationship. i'm wolf's wife, Sir's lil girl slave, c's girlfriend/Princess. so i know who i am, and what is expected of me to a certain extent.

i tend to do better when Sir gives me more structure, gives me things to do (writing assignments, etc, since we're at a distance from one another), and is a bit more assertive in his handling of me. so yes, i understand where you are coming from.

kitten, who is just waiting at the moment.

(in reply to lilfemme23)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/22/2007 7:06:39 PM

lilfemme23

Posts: 37
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I kind of think i want a more fatherly relationship, i want to be given chores to do, told to do certian excercises, given a diet guideline... things to better myself, to do the other things for my Master that will please him. Unfortunately i haven't found anyone who seems to be interested in that kind of thing, the way my current Master is behaving i think maybe he wants a robot capable of expressing emotions that he wants, only when he wants, to be there when he wants and to not have to think about His slave when it don't suit Him (which is 90 percent of the time). It seems like he wants Rosie from the jetsons. He wants his slave to not have needs or wants other than to make him happy. I love to make people happy, don't get me wrong. I just want to be acknowledged and thanked and rewarded. To have someone keep my interest in mind, not all the time but often enough to feel like i am an entity in his life not a robot kept in a closet, only to exsist when he thinks of me. Is that bad?

(in reply to adoracat)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/22/2007 7:31:52 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

What you want isn't bad but I seriously doubt you'll get them from him. Someone who is so self-absorbed is not going to be able to realize what you have to offer and appreciate your efforts. I was married for 26 years to someone like that hoping that he'd finally wake up and realize what a fantastic person he married. I finally left because it was that or die and I chose to live. You are less than half the age I was at that point. Learn from my mistakes and don't repeat them. There are men out there who will appreciate you but you won't find them as long as you're in your current relationship.

Just my thoughts.......

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to lilfemme23)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/23/2007 2:36:12 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

lilfemme there are Doms out there who would so much appreciate what you have to offer. What you want is definitely not bad, it is what many subs/slaves want and that is to have their needs fulfilled in the relationship too. The one you are with is incapable of both appreciating you and fulfilling your needs, especially while he is slave to the bottle. Yes I know fear can be paralysing ... do you want to spend the rest of your life paralysed by it? The longer it lasts, the harder it is to overcome. So do it NOW. What support systems do you have? Family? Friends? Find someone you can stay with and get the hell out of there. you'll never please him so don't even try. Just gather your courage and GO.

And for a bit of support, read some of the Daddy/daughter threads here ... that will tell you that this kind of D/s is alive and well, and can be a wonderfully caring and nurturing kind of relationship. And while I know the concept of a mentor Dom is likely to get some folks all riled up, I think this is a case where having someone to watch out for you (whether a male Dom or female Domme) who is CLEARLY not someone you will get attached to or vice versa, just might help you keep your courage up to get through this. In other words, a Dom/me friend, NOT a substitute Master.

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/23/2007 2:41:57 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilfemme23

I kind of think i want a more fatherly relationship, i want to be given chores to do, told to do certian excercises, given a diet guideline... things to better myself, to do the other things for my Master that will please him. Unfortunately i haven't found anyone who seems to be interested in that kind of thing, the way my current Master is behaving i think maybe he wants a robot capable of expressing emotions that he wants, only when he wants, to be there when he wants and to not have to think about His slave when it don't suit Him (which is 90 percent of the time). It seems like he wants Rosie from the jetsons. He wants his slave to not have needs or wants other than to make him happy. I love to make people happy, don't get me wrong. I just want to be acknowledged and thanked and rewarded. To have someone keep my interest in mind, not all the time but often enough to feel like i am an entity in his life not a robot kept in a closet, only to exsist when he thinks of me. Is that bad?

hey there rosie...er.. .lilfemme (ok, that rosie image was priceless!)

You'll figure it out. There are lots of people out there in your area looking for what you are interested in. Your biggest decision once you're in a better place is who are YOU interested in.

(oh, and my more "evil" side wonders what would happen if you started using the rosie voice around the house - but do NOT listen to me on this. It's way too early in the morning, I'm burnt from being out on the lake so unable to sleep and when I'm in bed, it hurts and when I'm out of bed, I'm freezing. I'm definitely in a "mood.")

*beep*

juliet

(in reply to lilfemme23)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: divine, anticipate, intuition - 7/23/2007 12:56:50 PM

lilfemme23

Posts: 37
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I'm very much in love with the written word, i can see things more clearly in print than if i were to hear or see it, and i am much more adept at explaining things by writing than speaking. If i hadn't been talking to you all on the net i wouldn't have been able to clarify a lot of thoughts for myself because my journals are rambling things that tend to have no direction. i have been looking into going to stay with my friend in another state probably just for a visit but it would be a great break, i don't have anyone around here i would like to stay with because i don't have a job right now and i hate to feel like a freeloader. As for what MaamJay said, i think it woulbe great to have a Dom/Domme friend who wouldn't mind getting me on track and keeping me in line. I actually have a friend who is submissive and since he never can seem to find anyone worth dating i take controll of him whenever he is around. I'm trying to get him to look in different places for romance but he don't seem very inclined to do more than troll his network of friends. Any how my secondary point was that although he and i are just friends, i have steppend in and given him a Domme so that he won't go off and do bad things. He really appreciates it and i get my pedicure, basement cleaned, all the little nieceties. It works well.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Profile

Post #: 48