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Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 8:44:14 PM   
SirEbonyPhoenix


Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline 		Lately, as I have noticed on Collar Me, there is a particular trend as far as D/s relationships go, that being Older sub/Younger Dom or Older Dom/Younger sub relationships. I thought of this because I recently read an e-mail from an older submissive who apparently wants a younger dom after pointing out that I am picky (which I will admit that I am) when it comes to the type of submissive/slave I desire. My question is this: Can we be picky when it comes to choosing or having our partner(s) based on age, race, etc. or does it really matter at all?

_____________________________

"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 8:46:40 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Yes.  We can be picky.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 8:50:21 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Feel free to be as picky as you like. You're the one who has to live with your choices, so might as well make them count and mean something to you. That shoe does fit on another foot though, so don't get disgruntled if you don't meet the criteria that someone else has set.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Aileen68)
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 8:57:33 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If I am looking for a partner, I am damn sure going to be picky. I am looking for the person who is going to make me happy, and the combination of preferences are what it takes to do that. I have a looks preference, I have a weight preference, I have an age preference. They aret necessarily dealbreakers if they arent there, but they definately do make one person more apealing than another.  After all, what good is selecting someone who doesnt interest you?
The only ones, i find , that call you picky for wanting what you want are the ones who dont match up. The ones who fit dont mind it in the least

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:10:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just don't be picky for the mid-40s Texas Jewboy with mad music skillz and a penchant for renewable energy- I've picked that demo clean already.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:17:15 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix
Can we be picky when it comes to choosing or having our partner(s) based on age, race, etc. or does it really matter at all?


Hell ya I can. For me it DOES matter. Age is a BIG factor, MJ is older than I am, 14 years right now, His experience is attractive as well as His age, I won't LOOK at a guy under 38 for the most part, few exceptions have ever been made to that. As for race, etc, thats not a big deal.
 
Being picky, yep, their are MORE male tops than female bottoms, so I can be picky. MJ an I are great friends, so being picky has payed off thus far.
 
Picky = standards, and I have them, HIGH standards.     

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:30:43 PM   
MsOpal


Posts: 244
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		We all have personal prefferances, likes and dislikes.  It would be a wonderful world if we all got to really know the person inside first, their heart, what makes them uniquely them.  But in the end we do all have certain things we look for and we sould not be put down because we like red hair, large butts, long legs, whatever.

_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

and I did.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:40:29 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		sure everyone have their perferences when seeking a partner like i prefer someone who's my age or older

however i sometimes just don't understand why younger doms enjoy perving a profile of an older submissive when she's clearly not what they're looking for (as stated in their profile).

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MsOpal)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:46:34 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline 		My slave is 22 years older than me.  Its a dynamic that works well for us.  When we met, he had an agreement with himself not to date under a certain age... I do happen to be under that age, but I think it depends on the person. Age isn't a factor for either of us any more.  it just happens that there was a large age difference when we came together.  I think its all about what works best for you and your potential partner... and if you're not the right fit, then it won't last...

Age specifically has never been an issue for me.  I could date guys of all ages, but I haven't dated a guy less than 20 years older than me EVER in the scene ( i attracted a whole slough of 45 year old Doms when i started out as a submissive)... and even outside of it, there tends to be at least a 10 year age gap. 

But seeing as I am just barely 21, it would be hard to find someone much younger than me, especially locally, who would fit all my other criteria.  Other things, like various vanilla interests... and sense of humor, top the list of things I look for, while age sits there at probably the very bottom of things that really matter. 

Its all personal preference. 

(in reply to MsOpal)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 9:46:36 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, be picky, but be picky about the right things. It isn't always the physical package that counts, it's what's inside. The perfect partner doesn't always come in the wrapping we expect. I've never forgotten meeting my Master (now husband)  It was at a munch, and I sat down in his chair by mistake. When he returned we got chatting. There was an immediate click, but I kept looking at his hands - not the sort that would usually attract me, square and broad with bitten nails. He was a few years younger than me - strike two. Worse still was the shock when we stood up - he was a good 4 inches shorter than me and I'd never even considered dating someone shorter, let alone letting them Dom me. Well .... the rest is history ...

:))
LH

< Message edited by LadyHeart -- 7/18/2007 9:48:07 PM >

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 11:40:57 PM   
Transdance


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/13/2007
From: below the depths
Status: offline 		I don't know if it's that I'm picky or that really I just have high standards. I've found it nearly impossible to find someone near my own age who'd be suitable for any kind of relationship. I’m not very keen on a huge age difference which some say handicaps me in seeking out any kind of relationship. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being picky.. you like what you like and it’s that simple. Besides I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t match what it is I’m looking for, I can’t see myself settling on just any old person.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/18/2007 11:54:32 PM   
Rafters


Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix
Lately, as I have noticed on Collar Me, there is a particular trend as far as D/s relationships go, that being Older sub/Younger Dom or Older Dom/Younger sub relationships. I thought of this because I recently read an e-mail from an older submissive who apparently wants a younger dom after pointing out that I am picky (which I will admit that I am) when it comes to the type of submissive/slave I desire. My question is this: Can we be picky when it comes to choosing or having our partner(s) based on age, race, etc. or does it really matter at all?


Yes you can.
It's up to you the limits and compromises you make.
And also love, the joker in the pack, is blind.


As for the age difference, the eldest being the Dominant's the conventional way, the youngest being the D therefore is the perverse way.
Some people like their perversions to be perverse, everyone does things their own way.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 2:54:12 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

My question is this: Can we be picky when it comes to choosing or having our partner(s) based on age, race, etc. or does it really matter at all?


Of course we can be picky.  Just this morning i had an exchange with a male switch who lives roughly 3500 miles away and is 19 year my junior.  When i said sorry a switch does not appeal to me and the age difference is greater than my preference and the distance is a problem for me.... i was told i have a bad attitude.

We can be picky and we can expect to be attacked for our preferences but sheesh we choose our partners, not blindly accept any and all who show interest.  Why would i want to have a relationship with someone who doesn't find me at very least appealing?

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 3:52:00 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		LOL!  Be as picky as you want.  You have to live with the choice.  But as Celeste said, the shoe fits on the other foot as well.  You may find someone you think is perfect, but she may have a different view.

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 4:06:15 AM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'll throw my hat in the ring this morning too...
Yes we can be picky.  These are our relationships, we have a right to choose the people with whom we associate.
When I was younger, I usually picked people slightly to much older than me.  My husband was 10 years my senior.
Now that I'm somewhere in the middle of life, it doesn't seem to matter as much anymore.  My current spoiled pet is a lot younger than I am and if I had bothered fixating on his age, I probably wouldn't be with him. 
I no longer judge people based on age, I look for compatibility, intelligence and humor (to name a few).

~Psy  *currently biting blackwolfswitch *

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 4:54:43 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		OK to be picky...
 
 .....was chatting with someone 2 days ago> nice chat ( in Ims ) finding out little more about each other...been chatting about..ohhhh  10 mins....going well...seem to be connecting...a little age difference ( no biggy )...only 100 miles away ( kewl ) ... a widow for 3 years ( ok  Im sorry for your loss ) ...
... then after 10 mins, he says " you and i seem to be nicely matched, CALL ME, and I  may need to whack off (insert phone # here)....  . you just can't make this stuff up folks....
.............  I said.. "BYE BYE"
 
.....I'm just SOOOO picky...
 
sigh...
 
I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday
Cyndi

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 5:03:09 AM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Right off the bat....  older dom and younger sub..........
I was ripped to shreds when I "dared" ask this.
My motives were questioned and I was told I was jealous.
humpf


Sir's property, who happens to be 4 years older than he.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 5:23:23 AM   
kicksado


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		I think pickyness may be an illusion. Its odd, we have our set standards of what we like in a partner, but just on this discussion alone we have a few stories of people meeting people whom they never would have thought to date. I think it all depends on connection, you are looking for a person so that you can both make love (in both senses of the phrase). We want someone who we can love naturally, and that someone rarely fits all our superficial criteria for choosing a partner. I agree with rafters on this one, love truly is blind. Preference is just something that helps us organize how we start looking, so that it s not such a daunting task.

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 6:57:19 AM   
MasterMagnus321


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		YES, be picky- "picky" rings of  HONESTY... it is what you REALLY want.  Have enough courage to state it right at the beginning, out of respect for yourself AND others. 

_____________________________

Nothing lasts, and yet nothing passes, either.
And nothing passes just because nothing lasts.
-Philip Roth

~MASTERMAGNUS

(in reply to kicksado)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Older sub/Younger Dom vs. Older Dom/Younger sub - 7/19/2007 7:14:56 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Definitely.    "life is loooong"   It will be double that if you have to spend it with the wrong person.

I get those that have tantrums because I don't choose them...usually it's because of personality...the only ones that I tell that I am rejecting because of preference is age. I do not understand why some people think just because they contact someone that person is obligated to consider them.

I am all for being picky, however, I don't think it's necessary to tell the world what you are looking for....just do it.   What I mean is, one thing that will tear you down with me faster than a Texas tornado is telling me that you emailed me because of what color I am....then they usually have to proceed in tell me of all their "black" encounters...on the first email mind you.  If you have that preference fine...but don't think it's going to score any points by you telling me that is why you contacted me.

I want someone to email me because they think we have like interest, when they saw my profile they picked up on certain personality traits that they thought would mesh well with theirs.  I don't want someone that just went scoping pics and decides to contact all the black women....wow how special do I feel? 

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 20
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