Are subs/bottoms stronger?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Are subs/bottoms stronger?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Are subs/bottoms stronger?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:04:55 AM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline

Are subs or bottoms more often mentally stronger than dominants?

Often I see insecure dominants who try to hide their insecurity by constantly showing off their powers over subs. Even in gatherings such as munches and even over other subs than their own.

This insecurity trait seems to be much less frequent in subs in the scene.

Is this just my skewed view? what's your take on this?

_____________________________

Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good

Post #: 1

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:06:46 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Some are, some aren't.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 2

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:17:04 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

it takes strength to be either.....the D or the s.....just different kinds of strength....... my 2 cents

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 3

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:30:04 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I would say it's your skewed view. But in a sense how it should be.

In theory, it takes courage and a little well-intentioned sacrifice to allow another person to have control 'to whatever extent' of their life, and be fulfilled in doing so. That's pretty noble stuff.

Then there are the doormats, and I've known several of those. They are the ones who really wouldn't be able to manage around life in a practical sense without someone guiding them every step of the way. And you better not take your eyes of them (like children in a store) or inevitably they're going to make a mess once you're back is turned. Not intentionally of course; they just don't know any better.

Are there weak 'dominants' who accomplish little but hiding behind their title? Certainly. But in the end, they do all right too, because there's always some fish in the sea that simply doesn't know any better. Pound-for-pound, they probably 'get some' more than anyone, because they aren't picky and their prey doesn't know that they're prey.

And that's just taking a quick glance at your average munch.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 4

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:40:12 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Orientation has nothing to do with inherent strength.

However, public culture of bdsm gatherings lends itself to the allowance and encouragement of dominants to peacock and be belligerent far more than it does of submissives. Thus, the behaviors are much more often observed in those settings.

That shouldn't suggest that insecurities do not exist within subs, or are not shown just as often in other ways.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 5

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 10:51:00 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I don't know if this is really what you're looking for here, but I happen to think it takes a great amount of inner strength to persue life as a submissive. That goes for both males and females alike. To live your life and be who you are, rather what some others might want you to be, takes a lot of courage, and I commend anyone who does it.

Are submissives prone to have an inner strength that is greater than that of a Dominant? I wouldn't want to make a sweeping generalization in any way. I tend to look at individual, rather than role, so I couldn't be able to judge by catagory.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 11:23:16 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Sweeping generalities are rarely true for the entire group. Sweeping generalities are often not true for even most of the group. It will be true for some of the group.

Dominants are no less confident or more secure that anyone else in america, including s-types. Some people are just not very developed emotionally...others are.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 7

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 12:06:04 PM

subnstudent

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

I agree that it takes a different kind of strength to submit... someone on the boards had a sig that went something like..

"There are two kinds of strength: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow.
Likewise there is the power to strip a soul bare, and the power to stand there naked."

Thanks to whoever had that up, btw.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 12:59:05 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

How do you know the chest pounding comes from insecurity and isn't just hardwired male behavior to impress the ladies? Or do you assume that a peacock who spreads out his tail is more insecure than one who doesn't? Because much of this behavior is simply instinctive, the alpha male gets the females.

(in reply to subnstudent)

Post #: 9

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 1:23:21 PM

k8trix

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

I don't believe that it takes more strength to be a submissive than it takes to be Dominant. I think it takes a confident person in either case, to live the way you believe it is best and most natural. I have noticed that there seems to be a lot of insecurity in "dominant" men...which seems to be a bit of an oxymoron. I think maybe the trouble has to do with the fact that we live in a society that facilitates and encourages confidience in women to such a degree that in general we feel a little more comfortable with embracing our choices...Men however, especially men who exhibit dominant qualities, come under some social condemnation these days and I can see how that might make them a little insecure.
I feel like at this point in time we are a much more female affirming society than we are a male affirming society.

< Message edited by k8trix -- 7/5/2007 1:24:40 PM >

_____________________________

katie~
“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”

Charles de Lint

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 10

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 1:25:28 PM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

You are right. Its takes a VERY special kind of person to submit Totally to some Dom/Dommes. Especially the ones into sadistic behavior and severe pain. It takes guts to allow someone to tie you up and do as they please, because personally I would NEVER do that.

EVERYONE has some type of insecurity if they are honest. It takes all kinds but there are definitely some subs that are much stronger than Dom/Dommes.

< Message edited by MsPleasure -- 7/5/2007 1:31:12 PM >

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 11

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 3:45:50 PM

MJSunshine

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

Let's also not forget that we (societally speaking) tend to view "domineering" as = to "dominant". So totally NOT the same thing but can look the same to the casual observer. When I run into someone who is domineering - that's the one I question his/her confidence and it is usually a huge turn off for me. No, I kinda like the quiet ones...who wear pink just cuz they can but don't flaunt the fact that they are wearing pink...they just do.

We are all insecure in some regard - some more than others. For every totally insecure, "doormat" submissive, there is an equally insecure "domineering" dominant. We're just people with our own baggage to tote and our confidence levels aren't what define our roles. Nor does identifying in our roles automatically qualify us for graduation from the School of Confidence and Inner Strength. If only that were true *sigh*.

As for submitting to someone sadistic and "into severe pain"...ROFLMAO. That's the easy part...for me anyway.

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Post #: 12

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 3:50:22 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't think that s-types are stronger perse. I think it takes a lot of strength to maintain personal power while surrendering the will that control that power I also think it takes a lot of strength to be responsible as a d-type for that control. It's equal stregnth requirements. It's just different types is all.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 13

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 5:46:07 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sadomasokisti

Are subs or bottoms more often mentally stronger than dominants?

Often I see insecure dominants who try to hide their insecurity by constantly showing off their powers over subs. Even in gatherings such as munches and even over other subs than their own.

This insecurity trait seems to be much less frequent in subs in the scene.

Is this just my skewed view? what's your take on this?

I would submit that subs are in fact stronger than most Doms/Dommes...but it isn't their (Doms/Dommes) fault.

Subs only have to do one thing (effectively); want.

Doms/Dommes have to do one thing (effectively); provide.

Tough game.

(I'm glad I'm a sub).

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 14

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 5:48:30 PM

Masternslave07

Posts: 203
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Subs bottoms are probably stronger.

_____________________________

You can lead a horse to water, but not a cow.

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 15

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 6:40:43 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

<Fast Reply>

I find that more and more doms tell me i'm too strong to be a proper submissive. I just smile and tell them... to them that may be true. But to others, i'm not. It's all in who is talking to who and trying to get something going.

I'm actually finding out (again... like I forgot?..lol) that doms on line.. and no not all of them... just more than expected... expect most submissives to be in need of them from the get go. I am not one of them. So it seems my strongness is my weakness. All I tell them is... good luck in your search and move on. If my strongness keeps me from submitting... well then so be it. I just can't see giving up me... to be someone i'm not. Went that route already. Not doing it again. So I keep my submissiveness for off line. For the people who really know me... and prefer me the way I am.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Masternslave07)

Post #: 16

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 7:09:23 PM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

Thats not for me.

(in reply to MJSunshine)

Post #: 17

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 7:29:44 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

I think it is more of a triumph for a sub to clearly show that they have power over themselves and their mental processes, in the face of force or actions that would strike fear in the heart and mind of mere mortal vanilla man/woman. It's more of an expectation that a dom has mental strength , and is a more significant disappointment when a dom loses it than when a sub loses it.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Post #: 18

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 7:50:00 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

Subs only have to do one thing (effectively); want.

Doms/Dommes have to do one thing (effectively); provide.

This is one of my A#1 pet peeves, one of the few things you can say that really chaps my butt and makes it hard to take a deep breath and live and let live. And my own Master is just as guilty of this belief, tho I hope I'm slowly helping him to see the light.

Anyway, I just pre-edited out a whole litle rant that I think would be best left unsaid. But suffice it to say I think subs should be doing a whole lot more than just wanting, and Dom(me)s should be ensuring that they receive their share of benefits.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 19

RE: Are subs/bottoms stronger? - 7/5/2007 7:52:28 PM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

Its a natural fit for me to be dominate and Ive been called a strong woman long before this journey. You definitely are on a different level mentally to be open to receive WHATEVER your dom/domme dishes out. Im thinking about the subs that leave the door wide open for discipline, training, abuse or whatever you want to label it. If you put it to the test and asked dom/dommes to allow the same activities to be done to them... the chances are they would decline as well as myself.

Does it take my strengh or dominance away....nope....it just intrigues me.

(in reply to classykindasassy)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Are subs/bottoms stronger?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094