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The Meeting - 7/4/2007 10:53:42 AM

Dominic2007

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

So, had lots of online chats and lots of telephone chats with my sub. Got as deep as its going to go over the phone and were both liking it. Now looking to meet. Were both very normal people so neutral ground a must but I’m up for ideas as to where - I mean over lunch is the obvious choice but I’m sure more original ideas are out there. Any ideas?

Also keen to hear 1st meeting experiences (both sub and Dom pls)- how easy was the D/s thing to slip into in conversation? (We are both complete newbies in real life sense but it works well on the phone so its very exploratory for us both.)

Whole thing rather scary but really exciting!

D
X

Post #: 1

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 10:59:04 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

First meetings at a lunch spot are fine. You want to pick a place or a time that is not hugely croweded with people listening to the conversation at the table next to them.

There are many, many possibilities for a first meet. The zoo, a park, a museum, window shopping in a quaint village, or sitting with a coffee beside a lake. It is helpful sometimes, to not be sitting face to face gazing into one another's eyes, so walking can ease the tension somewhat. I would suggest an activity that both of you enjoy and trying to meet simply as people, and go from there. When you are in a relaxed setting, the conversation will easily turn to mutual interests...of all kinds:)

Hope this helps!

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 2

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 11:10:13 AM

Dominic2007

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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Very Much - great answer thx

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 3

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 11:35:16 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

Your very welcome - good luck and let us know how it goes!

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 4

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 11:47:51 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

I met M at his house surrounded by his family, friends, UM's, my UM's, pets. The only thing missing was a couple of circus clowns and a porn star or two.

I don't recommend that.

But it certainly was original.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 5

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 12:16:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Some first meetings were awesomely intense with play and sex commencing almost immediately. Some were just greetings, meeting at a party, shaking hands and chatting awhile.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 6

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 2:46:45 PM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline

I like parks. They're common, accessible, have other people around so they aren't too isolated, but not so close that you can't talk about intimate topics as would be the case in a crowded lunch room.

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 7

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 3:12:07 PM

Mystique567

Posts: 273
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

I've had a couple first meetings, all in public and all went pretty well

(in reply to teamnoir)

Post #: 8

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 3:30:03 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over".

As for where, depends on your thoughts on where she is at. I have met them in cafes as well as face down and naked. I have had ones in cafes go badly and ones where her first feel of me was my cock in her mouth go well. You never no till later.

As for slipping in D/s, remember on the phone more is often better, in person, less is often more. Make her beg for it as in "I am very egalitarian and we just met so I wouldn't presume to order for you...unless you would enjoy that" Make her ask for your dominance first...

Anyway, good luck! Let us know how it goes.

(in reply to Mystique567)

Post #: 9

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 7:59:51 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over".

Great point, Michael.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 10

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 8:11:04 PM

ready4srvce4all

Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline

Our first meeting was technically at the airport when Mistress picked me up, and we shared long passionate kisses right there in the airport. We had the time in the car of course, and then to Her house. I met the entire family, including Her mother in law.

As far as BDSM, in the chats/emails/phone calls we actually did very little discussion of any of it. I had no expectations of any "play" either when I arrived.

But if you are fairly close by (I lived near Pittsburgh, Mistress near Chicago) I would go with the park recommendations. The walking eases some tension, you aren't staring at each other, you can easily work in physical contact that is subtle yet non threatening.

Good luck to you, I wish you well.

_____________________________

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 11

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 8:23:22 PM

pashun8flame

Posts: 31
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline

i've always tried to make a first meeting someplace public. however, when my first meeting with Master took place, he was a gentleman. Master came to pick me up at my parent's place, He came in and met my parents, then he took me out to dinner at quiet restaurant that seemed very romantic to me.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)

Post #: 12

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 9:08:30 PM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Remember that what is hot on the phone is not in person. Meaning, you reached a level of intimacy and power exchange on the phone that will NOT exist in real life on your first meeting. That isn't the same as saying it won't get intimate and hot right away but be open to the possibility that there will be a bit of "starting over".

As for where, depends on your thoughts on where she is at. I have met them in cafes as well as face down and naked. I have had ones in cafes go badly and ones where her first feel of me was my cock in her mouth go well. You never no till later.

As for slipping in D/s, remember on the phone more is often better, in person, less is often more. Make her beg for it as in "I am very egalitarian and we just met so I wouldn't presume to order for you...unless you would enjoy that" Make her ask for your dominance first...

Anyway, good luck! Let us know how it goes.

These always go well if you leave a big enough tip.

_____________________________

Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 13

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 9:37:58 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominic2007
...Now looking to meet. Were both very normal people so neutral ground a must but I’m up for ideas as to where - I mean over lunch is the obvious choice but I’m sure more original ideas are out there. Any ideas?

MJ an I met at Starbucks after being friends for over 3 yrs; it was very public, low key and relaxed, things progressed from there, to lunch, then to walking around the mall, then later to dinner.. and well... breakfast. Our only expectations were to meet a good friend; after 3 yrs it was time, lol.

You could always go and play pool or minigolf, something like that. I am a bit of a traditionalist, so Starbucks that sorta thing is always my preferance, its low key an if I don't along with the person, I can always people watch.

quote:

Also keen to hear 1st meeting experiences (both sub and Dom pls)- how easy was the D/s thing to slip into in conversation? (We are both complete newbies in real life sense but it works well on the phone so its very exploratory for us both.)

MJ an I are both public/private people if that makes any sence. I am a bite more 'public' when online and He keeps a lower profile, in public we are normal people, we can talk about anything, M/s stuff slips into our normal conversation, when we had lunch and dinner, we did take into account who was around, yet, we kept to ourselves for the most part so we could talk.

Between MJ an I, we have decades of experience in M/s and in bdsm, yet, for us, being friends for this long and being able to talk about M/s with eachother easily is a great asset, it makes things easier and less intimidating. We talk about vanilla stuff as easily as we do about M/s stuff.

Consequently, when MJ an I met, a few people I had worked with before showed up where we had lunch; no big deal, they didn't hear us talking, if they did, oh well.

Don't force the M/s talk stuff, it will happen, just keep in mind who is within earshot unless you are both 'out.'

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Dominic2007)

Post #: 14

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 10:24:33 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Well Master and my first meeting was a bit unconventional, he came to my house to pick me up. he met my Dad my aunt my uncle my older brother (who just happend to stop by) my 2 younger sisters and my dogs ( my mom wasnt home) We then walked to the Dunken Donuts 2 blocks from my house had some coffee and went for a walk. We walked around my block like for a few hourse just talking about everything and anything, it was late at night so no one was around so talking about things wasnt so much of an issue but I felt more then safe as we where out side of houses of people that I knew and not so far from my own house that if something where to go wrong they wouldnt be able to hear my screams LOL So while there werent people nesiseraly outside with us they where close enough that if I needed to shout for help someone would be there to help within secents... Fortunetly Master is one of the most desent men I have ever met, and a few hours Later Master walked me to my front door gave me a big hug saw me inside the safety my house where my family was waiting to hear how things went and went on his way.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 15

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 10:40:18 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm not keen on meeting in cafes. The last time I tried it, the man at the table behind me must have caught a hint of the conversation (or maybe he was just plain nosey) and he leaned back so far in his chair to try and overhear some more than he was nearly sitting in my lap. The prospect wasn't much of a match - I might have been better off with the stranger in the chair behind, lol.
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 16

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 10:43:10 PM

jocelyn

Posts: 59
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline

Master and I met fairly soon after beginning conversation. Both he and I aren't youngsters, so we were both frank about the first few meetings being straightforward interviews. As a matter of fact, he had a "boilerplate" set of initial questions he sent me after I responded to him on collarme. We proceeded from there. "Where" doesn't matter, and it's probable that "what" doesn't either, just that you're both comfortable and can get to know each other with as few distractions as possible.

We gave ourselves the gift of time and it took three full meetings (one for coffee, one long walk on nearby "city" streets, and one interview at my apartment with my daughter close by before I visited Master in his home.

One last thing - Master is a security freak and fully expected me to be one, too. After he'd decided to meet, he gave me his full name so I could do what he termed, "my due diligence" in researching a bit of his background and, at the very least, his internet presence.

Good luck to both of you!
jocelyn

_____________________________

If chocolate is not the answer, I'm not certain that the question matters...

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 17

RE: The Meeting - 7/4/2007 11:08:03 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Oh yeah and Master and I met after less then 2 weeks of online and phone talk, he wasnt into waisting time online, me I could speak to someone for months or years online without ever meeting unless the other pushed to meet Im rather shy and scared of meeting new people aspecialy from online So meeting Master so soon was a bit odd for me. Im glad though becuase if it was up to me will still would not have met and Now it is nearly a year since that first meeting.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 7/4/2007 11:09:03 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to jocelyn)

Post #: 18

RE: The Meeting - 7/5/2007 1:34:40 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

If you pick a cafe, know it well enough to know how far the tables are apart! The further is better of course. Start with regular vanilla getting to know you chat ... about the menu, the weather, whatever! Once you've both settled a bit, 10-15 mins is typical in My experience, then you can gradually slip in some reference to the phone conversations you've had and then you'll be away. I have to admit I'm not mad on walking around a park as I find that distracts Me from the conversation, but sitting on a park bench would work for Me. Keep it simple and good luck!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 19

RE: The Meeting - 7/5/2007 2:45:12 AM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline

I flew to another country on another continent to meet him, leaving no way to get home for at least a week, at night with very few other people about except a crazy girl I'd never met, and proceed back to his mostly empty barracks building where no one would have heard me scream, with no secondary option for a place to stay, and then get pretty drunk.

It went fantastically and the week was a blast.

What is complete idiocy for some just works for others.

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 20

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