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Messages on here - 6/30/2007 9:59:46 PM   
Master2Bindngagu


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		Ok, being male, obviously most males get less email than females.  But being in the minority of receiving emails, Id like to ask others.  How do you feel when youve taken the time to write someone that you are interested in and from what they have on their profile seem compatible but dont even read your email? If you dont seem compatible with them, the least they could do is read it and say they arent interested? Or people that read, but dont reply?  Now I can understand that being a female on this site means you are going to get about 10 to 15 times the mail a male would get and it has to get overwhelming, and Im sure you get a lot of dumb mail (copy/paste jobs, one liners, etc) but how do males and females alike feel on this topic?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 10:03:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		To quote Katy "A lack of response IS a response"

While you've posted your thread here in a much more mature way than most, we get this question about twice a month or more.  An email from a stranger does NOT carry any obligation to respond.  Accept and move on, anything else just makes you sound like an entitled whiner.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Master2Bindngagu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 10:17:30 PM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		I used to try to send a response to everyone who emailed me even if it was just to say thanks but no thanks. I still take the time to respond to someone who has put forth some effort to read my profile and write a polite introduction. It can be overwhelming sometimes and frustrating. If a guy has clearly not even read my profile, or sends me a ridiculus three word statement like 'how much experience?' I do not feel any obligation whatsoever to reply. As has already been pointed out, no response is a response.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 10:22:38 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		((checks the calender)) Yup its about time for another one of these!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 10:23:17 PM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		If someone sends me a nice letter, then I will send a nice one back.  Otherwise (depending on my mood ;)) I will ethier ignore, or write a bitchy one back. Sometimes if it is a 1-liner, I will write a note back requesting more information. 

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 10:50:31 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Unless the note I receive is really offensive (and some of them are disgusting) I always take the time to reply, but my response is proportional to the effort shown in the original email. A one liner gets one of those automated responses. A paragraph or so gets something more personal back. I try to remember that newbies have to start somewhere, but sometimes I do have to take a deep breath before hitting "send."

You also need to remember that some profiles are very old and may no longer be going to active email addresses.

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to Trampler)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 11:13:28 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		As a female submissive I answer almost every email I receive. It bothers me when I take my courage in my hands to write an email to a male Dominant that I admire and I get nothing back. Obviously he wasn't interested but it would be nice to get a "thanks, but no thanks" like I write to the men who write to me. It's not just female submissives who don't answer their emails here....

Just my thoughts....

(in reply to Master2Bindngagu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 11:17:21 PM   
RchmdServiceNeed


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		No one owes anyone anything.

You can email who you want, but that does not obligate them to write back, no matter how nice you are.
One should consider it might not have anything to do with you, but just where the other person is at in their life, time available, etc.

It's a free country, free site, etc. If you had to *ASK* permission or get permission before you email there would probably be a higher rate of returned email, but also a higher rate of declined requests, lol.
Think of it as: You choose to email them out of the blue.
and they choose to reply out of the blue.

Complaining about random people you don't know not responding is like complaining that everyone compatible with you isn't emailing you in the first place. It makes no sense. And no one has an obligation to email or reply, they are pretty much the same in obligation and that is: None.

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 11:29:50 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline 		for me, it has to do with a lot of things.. .a reply is dependant on whether there is a picture available... what their message says... what their screen name is... (anything including toilet... or a name that is generic with a strand of numbers at the end doesn't get a response)... and like was stated previously, it also depends where I am at in my life... 

I read most all of my mail... even the stupid bulk stuff from overseas if I am bored enough. 

But to answer the other question... yes, I (and most other women on this site, I am sure) get TONS of mail... its annoying... and most of them show that not only did they not bother to read my profile... but when I was strictly Domme I would get mail from Dom guys all the time because they saw my picture and thought I was cute... Didn't even bother to look at what side of the fence I was on...

Anyway, I assure you... its not just you. 

(in reply to RchmdServiceNeed)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 11:41:56 PM   
RchmdServiceNeed


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		But, you *are* Cute!

and "Hi"


[ aaaaaahaha, J/k!   lol ]

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Messages on here - 6/30/2007 11:55:07 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I feel that they've missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

Fuck'em.  Move on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master2Bindngagu

How do you feel when youve taken the time to write someone that you are interested in and from what they have on their profile seem compatible but dont even read your email?

(in reply to Master2Bindngagu)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 12:16:16 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		We need a better system for contact - how about we delete the messaging system entirely and everyone who wants to hook up has to go to a suitable-alignment chatroom? Then we'd stop this sad problem from repeating endlessly.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 4:23:00 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		This happens all the time but usually it's because people didn't bother to read the profile properly. I usually do a quick reply though because manners costs nothing and if someone took the time to email i'll take the time to respond.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 5:35:41 AM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This seems an interesting set of non-responsive responses.

Master2Bindngagu did not ask why people didn't respond to email; he asked about people who don't even bother to read it.

There's a huge difference between the two things.

I've run into the same thing from time to time. You check a profile; you write in detail; the other person doesn't open it. Moreover, in cases I'm thinking of, the other person did not check my profile either which would have let them form an opinion that the mail wasn't worth reading.

That I can understand. But it seems that a few people simply like to gather attention without any desire to ever act on the attention they get or even consider it, other then by perhaps counting the mail.
Master2Bindngagu

(in reply to michelleryder)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 5:41:18 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Master2Bindngagu
How do you feel when youve taken the time to write someone that you are interested in and from what they have on their profile seem compatible but dont even read your email? If you dont seem compatible with them, the least they could do is read it and say they arent interested? Or people that read, but dont reply?

I send out a few emails, every now and again when I find someone who catches my eye. Sometimes, they never get read. Sometimes, they get read and not responded to, even by those male subs who proclaim in their profiles several times that they will respond to every message they get.
I accept and move on. No big deal. If they do not have the time or interest to write back than all the supposed compatibility in the world has gone out the window. No big loss.
If they dont read it at all, then I assume I have either been chucked into a bulk mail folder, or they checed my profile, noticed I wasnt actively looking and decided not to waste their time. Either way, the random stabs in the dark are just that, so I dont get all bent out of shape for those that are fruitless.  The way I see it, the profile is made to sell someone,as an opener.  If they dont make the effort to close the sale, then I probably didnt want them in the first place.

My 2 cents
DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Master2Bindngagu)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 5:53:29 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Destitute of all happiness, emotionally and morally bankrupt, cold and so alone, is there any sense in continuing an existence so bereft in pain and misery?

Why didn't she write back? Why?...Why?....Why?

We could have had little domilettes together....(Domiguy finally takes the time to fully read the non responsive sub's profile)  Says here that she owns cats and likes renaissance faires....Never mind.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/1/2007 6:00:04 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 5:54:46 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		this is related and kind of my first rant......someone i was corresponding with regularly had emailed me-i read it, and because i had a horrible headache, i took 4 advil and went to bed....the next morning i got up-feeling awesomely well, and answered his mail......then read a new one where he had proceeded to imply i was rude and inconsiderate for not answering the mail when i read it.....

i may be nuts, but red flags went everywhere in my mind......i felt chastised for something innocent, and it went from meeting next weekend to good luck finding what you seek immediately.

it just freaked me out that someone who i have not met, or handed any authority over to, would check to see when i read a mail, and write that to me......i have never checked to see if a mail was read......

any opinions on whether or not this seems like insane behavior on my part is welcomed.  reassurances that im not nuts will receive double green stamps tho.

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 6:04:46 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Some people don't realise that they have their bulk mail set up - and some people do not even know that mail is there so if it isn't read, it could be that it was filtered to there and not read.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Petronius)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 6:06:21 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I read all my mail. However, I used to answer most of them but now no longer bother to answer the ones like just this morning that say "U Horny?" "Location?" "Nice Hair" "Great Smile" "U R Hot" "Great name, it fits" "U Ever Switch" "R U Owned", etc.

Any well crafted reply will receive a note back from me, but when you get so many emails per day, those silly boring ones deserve no reply.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Messages on here - 7/1/2007 6:15:25 AM   
MisstressNboytoy


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Well, you definitely aren't nuts. In my experience it is common here to run into dominants that try to take control like that before consent is given - a definite red flag that you should seriously consider before moving any farther.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 20
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