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do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 12:21:54 PM

ELUSIVE1

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I went for my usual walk on my favorite lakeside trail...I usually go around the supper hour and have the trail to myself...and the quiet, only an occasional animal sound is so peaceful...the trail is a 2 mile loop that goes out to the end of a peninsula...where this a bench,and a fallen tree-where I usually sit,I consider it MY tree as I have spent many hours there contemplating decisions in life...Well, tonight I passed two men who spoke no English when I said hello..I got to my 'spot' and there was bedding there...and I thought, wow they are living here now...not a camping area,but whatever...The clouds came in fast and thunder started rumbling...and I was at the end of a peninsula more than a mile from my car...I started back when the wind started kicking a bit...the two men got out of the water and started walking behind me...I stopped and sat on a fallen tree to let them past, they were big and tall, could walk much faster than me...but they got a little ahead of me and went back down to the water...so I got up and walked some more...then one of them started to follow behind me,just far enough back that I could see him...the other man just disappeared...My mind was racing...this didn't feel like the 'rape' fantasy with my former dom, this was real life...I started walking faster than ever...drizzle and wind whipping my face...that gut feeling that this is not a good situation, feeling like I was being hunted...and finally came up to the parking area where there was a ranger heading down the trail...and somehow, the adrenaline, the terror ...I was SO AROUSED I had to come home and play on 'Ozzy" (the sybian)
I cannot say if I was in TRUE EMINENT danger with these men, but the way my mind was racing, the danger felt REAL....do you get aroused when you are really afraid??

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 12:34:21 PM

santalia

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Greetings

i hate to say this, but who doesn't? It's all a part of why we who are into this lifestyle enjoy it so much. There are things that we do that we were likely scared to try in the beginning, but the arousal we felt when thinking about them helped us overcome our fear of them.

That's not to say that we would want anything to happen in a non-consensual setting. Such as a real rape, or being robbed at knifepoint...it's just that we get a very similar reaction in the consensual setting as we might in a non-consensual one.

Don't know if this makes any sense, but anyways...lol

i wish you well

-santalia{JR}

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 12:34:35 PM

ThinkingKitten

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Nope. My autonomic nervous system does exactly what it is supposed to in moments of genuine "out in the wide world" fear. It shuts down the blood supply to the extremities which includes certain anatomical parts involved in arousal. I don't think there was ever a version of the instinctive "fight or flight" which also included "or fuck"

Or maybe they just don't teach that third option in physiology classes!

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 12:47:14 PM

Quivver

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Eminent Danger does not arouse me in the least, I go into survival mode and I am a survivor.
Everything shuts down except adrenaline and the thought of escape, what wepons may be at hand and what is near that I can make into one. It's been sometime since I've been in such a position so I dont really remember if the by product of being safe allowd arousal after words,
but I suppose that is possible.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 12:48:51 PM

crouchingtigress

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i think that was your survival instints kicking in...i think that being raped by them may have in some way offered your mind a way to get out of the situation and still have some control, and so you experianced a teeny-tiny stockholm syndrome.

would the same thing have happened if it was an elephant bull charging at you? probally not.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 1:02:51 PM

Aileen68

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I can relate to this completely. I get extremely aroused from the thought of a dangerous situation and I have in the past when I've found myself in an uncomfortable situation. I've chosen to put myself in those positions at times, just for that rush I feel.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 1:16:27 PM

ExSteelAgain

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It is like that 5 minute period when you meet someone and both or you have the option of backing out due to bad vibes or whatever. If the sub thinks the preliminary decision may be viloated she is going to be excited on one level, but I still think she wants her decision of play or no play to be honored.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 3:59:29 PM

ELUSIVE1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i think that was your survival instints kicking in...i think that being raped by them may have in some way offered your mind a way to get out of the situation and still have some control, and so you experianced a teeny-tiny stockholm syndrome.

would the same thing have happened if it was an elephant bull charging at you? probally not.

Yeah,I can say that running from bull elephants would not have the same effect...but then I am sure my mind would not be racing ahead at the possible end of the situation either....

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 5:38:20 PM

IrishMist

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Hell yea...danger AND violence...both are an extreme rush for me.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 8:28:36 PM

velvetears

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i wouldn't be aroused in the least by that kind of situation. When i got home sex would be the last thing on my mind. i don't know your life situation or experiences but if you ever had an outcome of a similar type situation where you were in some way attacked or violated you might have felt completely differently.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 8:34:57 PM

Aileen68

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I don't think most people can choose what turns them on and what doesn't.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 8:38:41 PM

slaverosebeauty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1
do you get aroused when you are really afraid??

Nope. I shark dive, I have been in the water with bullsharks a few times, this summer if things go well with great whites, I have to be in a cage, at least on the first dive. I was a little afraid when I get in the water with the bull sharks for the first time, because they are aggressive, but, then I remembered that I am a slave and on CM and other lifestyle sites I get 'hunted' by sharks all the time; if I can survive weeding through the sharks on here, then the ones in the water ar a piece of cake.

I did get aroused when I was a beautifull great white came out of the water less than 10feet from me when I was 16 on the boat; it wasn't fear, it was elation and awe.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 8:38:47 PM

LadyPaige

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Did you feel aroused while you were afraid you may be in iminent danger, or did that kick in once you were safe? Those who like mind fucks enjoy the adrenaline rush they get, and it sounds like that's what you got.

Paige

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 9:02:33 PM

HutchGarahl

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I don't normally get afraid, but when I do...no. Andrenaline rush maybe, but not aroused. Survival mode kicks in.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 9:27:40 PM

Caius

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I would say your reaction was fairly natural (if far from universal to individuals in your situation). More and more, cognitive scientists are moving away from accepting emotions as at-all clearly-defined phenomena. We can see clearly now that emotions are conceptual shortcuts that our consciousness applies, after-the-fact, to nebulous physical states. It's called "cognitive labelling" and nowhere is the research more clear on this point than with the fear/arousal (meant in a general, non-sexual sense here) response. You recongized a potentially dangerous situation and, instantly, non-voluntary responses are triggered in your body. But these responses are general to any situation that might require an exceptional expenditure of energy and not particular to the oft-cited "fight or flight" response. Now the crucial point to remember here is that the human brain is highly modular -- that is, different functions are handeled by different regions of the brain with varying amounts of communicitivity; the physiological response is accomplished by certain elements of what is in lay terms often referred to as a "lower" part of the brain, with considerable help from several hormone-producing glands. But of course, the effects of the physiological change are so significant it's now time for the "higher" brain to justify and explain them, and it doesn't always do a clean job of it (it can't, while making this function any use to us, for reasons too complex to go into here). That is to say, you felt the general emotional condition refered to as arousal. You mostly registered it as fear, but like any number of people in your situation, your mind --perhaps in part because you had recognized a similar scenario as sexual, or because you recognized a likely intent in the men, or for any number of other indtereminable reasons--also formed a sexual arousal interpretation.

Experimentation on this premise is decades-old now. There's one experiment in particular that I can dimly recall that is relevant to your situation. Two groups of men were asked to meet a young woman whom they believed was a grad student helping to administer a project (which indeed she was, though not int he manner they expected). One group, the control group, was asked to meet here in a farily serene, comfortable setting. The other met her on rickety, unstable-seeming bridge. Later, the particpants were asked to evaluate her sexual appeal. Guess which group rated her as more attractive by far.

By the way, did you inform the ranger, or anyone, about your fears? From the way you describe this pair as moving, your concerns may have very well been justified.

< Message edited by Caius -- 6/24/2007 9:40:47 PM >

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/24/2007 11:00:45 PM

trixxitrash

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Dangerous situations don't generally turn me on, but if I encounter danger after I'm already turned on, the experience will certainly be enhanced.

After graduating from college, I went to South Korea to teach English as a Second Language. I had one student who really turned me on. Her name was Soo Jeong, she was a tall, slender, effeminate woman in her late 20's, who ran a piano school. We'd go out for dinner and drinks, but every time I tried to kiss her she'd pull away. I could tell she liked my advances, but she got a kick out of playing hard to get. I was young and gullible, so her game worked on me. I was mad about her.

Her village had a Buddhist temple by the river. The grounds were well kept, and hardly anyone went there at night. One warm summer evening, we got a few bottles of beer and went there. I parked my car in the lot, and we sat on a bench by the river and drank and talked. It got late and she asked me to take her home. We went back to my car, I turned on the ignition, and we sat there listening to the radio and talking.

I tried to kiss her again, and this time she let me. We made out for awhile, and I told her to take her pants off. She complied, and a minute later I was inside her. There wasn't much room to move, so I felt a little constricted. She was also a little shy, and more or less just let me do my thing. The thrill I felt was more that of attaining a long sought after goal than that of having amazing sex. After a while, another car entered the parking lot. They pulled up perpendicular to us; their headlights shining through our windows. "What do they want?" she asked. I told her not to worry about them. They were just out cruising, and after a while they'd go on their way. They took off a few minutes later, but then they came back with another car. This time they pulled up on both sides of us. She was worried, but I reassured her that it was o.k. If they wanted to watch us fuck, let em. Having them there definitely turned her on. She dug her nails into me, and fucked me as hard as I fucked her. Then the guys got out of their cars and sat on the hoods. We were enjoying the show we were putting on. One of the guys threw a beer can at my windshield. At that point, I probably should have wizened up and realized that things might get ugly, and got the hell out of there. But for some reason, it just turned me on more. Then one of them rushed up to the car and tried to open the door, which was locked. I rolled off of her and into the driver's seat, slammed the car into reverse and sped the hell outta there, jeans still around my ankles.

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/25/2007 12:57:09 AM

becca333

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During the danger I'm in suvival mode. But after there's an adrenaline rush and a wild excitement that I'm ok. It's a recognised reaction to danger, a heady on-top-of-the-world feeling.

That's the reason people ride roller coasters!

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/25/2007 3:54:14 AM

ELUSIVE1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

During the danger I'm in suvival mode. But after there's an adrenaline rush and a wild excitement that I'm ok. It's a recognised reaction to danger, a heady on-top-of-the-world feeling.

That's the reason people ride roller coasters!

Yeah,I am a roller-coaster junkie too--my fav is the one on the California/Nevada line--in that cascino...

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/25/2007 7:33:42 AM

becca333

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Ohhhh roller coasters.

You have to wait and wait for it to happen. Then suddenly you're tied down and helpless and it's too late to change your mind.

Then it starts, slowly, and you think, "This isn't too bad."

Then suddenly it's accelerating, there's screaming, you can't see or hear anything, you're terrified and thrilled and you want it to stop, and to go on forever.

Then it's over, and you feel huge relief, and a rush of triumph.

Then you can't wait to do it all over again.

Or.... wait.... is that roller coasters or BDSM?

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RE: do you get aroused by danger?? - 6/25/2007 8:47:49 AM

SirDominic

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elusive, I would bet dollars to donuts that you have never actually had a really bad experience. Your feeling aroused at that situation was, to my way of thinking, a self-defense mechanism. By putting this real danger into a fantasy fetish setting, you were better able to cope with your fear. If the worst had happened, and they had grabbed you and raped you, believe me, arousal would be the last thing you would be thinking about.

I have spoken with many submissives on this issue. Only the ones who have never had the worst happen react the way you did. The ones who weren't so lucky realize how unsafe life can be sometimes. In that sort of situation, they feel fear, and not the fun pretend kind.

Moral of the story is learn to recognize real danger, even if it is only a perceived danger, and react accordingly to save yourself. Maybe you end up being wrong and feel silly for over reacting. Far better that than doing otherwise and becoming a real victim.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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