RE: Professional People into the Scene

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/12/2007 8:56:52 PM

BearAsSpanker

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
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I received a message that my picture had been accepted. But after reading this thread I removed it. It lasted a good five minutes online. I am a male Dom looking for a female. So I really don't get too many hits in my direction. The ones that I have received have been dubious. I believe, a picture makes you seem more real. I think I'll reset the settings on my camera and upload another picture. If she is interested, I will send her a clear one and expect one in return.

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/12/2007 10:21:17 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Rock on, brother.

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/13/2007 3:20:46 PM

Guilty1974

Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillobeysir

Are there many professional people here? I *don't* mean professional doms; I mean doctors, lawyers, educators, clergy, politicans, etc. How do you find partners on CollarMe without jepordizing your practice, clients, etc.?

I'm a national civil servant in daily life. I don't talk about my kinky lifestyle at work as sex basically never comes up. Why should I tell them about the latest kink party - they don't tell me how they did it last weekend.... But I'm "out" to my significant others, parents and friends that regularly visit us at home and if someone from would ask straightaway I would give an honest answer.

I think that if you're in a delicate profession it's actually better to be somewhat open than to try to hide it from everybody. Hiding it from your friends, family and other significant others opens the way for blackmail, and that's the one thing you shouldn't do as a civil servant, politicians, judge, teacher, etc.

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/13/2007 4:39:10 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Are there many professional people here? I *don't* mean professional doms; I mean doctors, lawyers, educators, clergy, politicians, etc. How do you find partners on CollarMe without jeopardizing your practice, clients, etc.?

Yesterday I visited a Bank who were trying to buy my company for a substantial amount of money and bring me on as President of the new division. After the meeting beth and I drove to a Munch attended by 30 active, or interested in the lifestyle. My sex life didn't come up in conversation with the Bankers, and my bank business didn't get discussed with any of the folks at the Munch; although it was attended by people who I know are business owners, health care workers, accountants, lawyers, deli workers, factory workers, and every other job you can imagine.

I see us as being "out of the closet" but I have yet to be in any social setting where I introduced us by saying; "Hi - My name is Merc - I'm a sadistic Master and this is my masochistic slut slave beth." I don't even do that at a lifestyle event.

The point is I don't believe anyone is entitled to know what occurs in my home or in my bedroom. I'm happy to "represent" and do so as much as possible, but I don't wear a sandwich board with my my business resume on the front and my lifestyle resume on the back.

I do use a tactic to disarm those who extend prejudice to the community. Its similar to how I react when some business client or associate tells a racial "joke". I look at them with contempt and say that my mother is black. If its a homophobic denigrating gays, I tell them I'm gay or have a gay brother.

When Jerry Springer creates a circus setting with people he brings in "representing" lifestyle couples I cringe. That is how the uninitiated and ignorant perceive us. I find it incumbent that we try to change this image. Staying in the closet or in the shadows won't make that happen. I appreciate and understand the problems of being in a teaching career especially at the elementary school level. But great strides have been made in that area by the gay community. Why can't it be turned around for people who partake in BDSM?

It is a matter of changing our image. The image won't change if the only reference is Jerry Springer and people don't stand up when any minority group is challenged - including this one.

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/13/2007 6:10:02 PM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
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Professional or not. Most want their sex life, bdsm life, drinking, drug use....whatever... private. So finding like minded partners is the key.

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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/14/2007 2:25:49 AM

MasterMagnus321

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

My depest regrets in life have to do with things I've not done or tried, not things I have done; conversely, my deepest regrets with speech/communication concern things I have said, not my silence; a wise man once told me, "Don't ever miss an opportunity not to say something." That advice has always served me very well.

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Nothing lasts, and yet nothing passes, either.
And nothing passes just because nothing lasts.
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RE: Professional People into the Scene - 6/14/2007 10:43:17 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamSailor

'The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life." Henry IV

I didn't even know I was in a closet until a few weeks ago, having coffee with a local submissive, who was trying to persuade me to join a local BDSM club, and said she had just 'come out of the closet'. ;( Since I learned (through trial and many errors) and practiced D/s 10 years prior to knowing there was a sub-culture, I guess I have always seen society as 'different' and not very kind. For me, unless I know I can live totally outside society, the closet is fine for me.....what they don't know, they can't use against me.

DreamSailor

i agree with you. i have heard too many horror stories of relationships gone bad and vindictive people outing others and ruining their lives. i don't mean strictly romantic relationship i mean friendships. One guy i knew was a fireman in a smal town. A sub who felt rejected by him found out exactly where he worked and sent them his pic and info about him. He was fired.

Some professions, like Merc pointed out teaching as one example, are such that any thought of even the slightests "impropriety" will cost you your job. Why chance it?

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