Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

I rarely post humor...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> I rarely post humor... Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:22:04 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
A major research institution, probably funded by a government subsidy has  just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Bushcronium".  Bushcronium has only one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.  The symbol for Bushcronium is "Duh".  Bushcronium's mass actually increases over  time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that  radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons. The "nucular" reaction alluded to where Duh combines with  Foxnewsium (Fx) when bombarded by a moron beam yields:  Duh + m (morons) + Fx = DuhmFx which is sometimes phonetically pronounced to describe the nature of the isodope produced

In breaking news, scientists at SandMutopian University have reported an interesting property of Bushcronium.  The Neutron exhibits intense attraction to assistant neutrons even when the assistant neutrons are completely powerless, ineffective and have a value of zero.  This is called the "Gonzales" effect.


< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 6/11/2007 10:45:22 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:25:06 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
The most interesting thing about Bushcronium is that the Neutron exhibits intense attraction to assistant neutrons even when the assistant neutrons are completely powerless, ineffective and have totally outlived their value.  This is called the "Gonzales" effect.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:46:08 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
Hope you don't mind but I stole your bit and added it in!  The best way to deal with Republicans is to laugh at them.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:52:24 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
This just in from the particle accelerator research station at Oxford. Bushcronium, when placed as a target in the accelerator suffers no change despite what comes its way. Rather it would seem, when the shooting starts, the Bushcronium is nowhere to be found.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:56:59 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
Oh god I love you guys!

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:57:12 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline
Recent statistics are showing that the production of Bushcronium is not economically viable nationally.

< Message edited by szobras -- 6/11/2007 10:59:05 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 10:57:39 AM   
Adelphus


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Bushcronium has only one neutron,


Proton, love. One proton. But still all around awesome.;-)

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 12:20:20 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
Neutron sounds like neuron...

(in reply to Adelphus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 12:44:37 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Neutron sounds like neuron...


which sounds like MORON....which captures the spirit of the thing. 

but y'know, SM, she's right...He'd be a proton...  or maybe he's one of those elusive brain particles...a muon?  or a lack of brain particle...a moron? see...it all comes back to this.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 12:46:02 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline
Evidence shows that the element known as "Duh" has a high attachment to the element "Oleum."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 6:48:28 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
Fast reply -
 
In an attendant amount of hubris, ShrubCo elimanted all scientific studies of Brushcronium citing "Abstinence of Intelligent Thought and Policy" as the leading model for controlling unplanned neurons that would be aborted in stem cell petri dishes.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to szobras)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/11/2007 8:45:32 PM   
soultoshare


Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline


< goes off to find the paper towels YET AGAIN!!!!!!!

_____________________________

This is where I should say something witty.....well, "SOMETHING WITTY!"

**********************************************

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.



(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 1:26:58 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline
Brilliant post but at least noone has proved that Bushcronium causes Global Warming. Have they ?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 3:51:04 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
Good question Seeks. I phoned my friend at Cambridge who is working on that exact question.

All results so far show that Buschcronium is totally inert in the reactions leading to global warming, but does give off lots of heat in its own right, leading to much hot air.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to seeksfemslave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 12:41:05 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
In health news today it has been revealed that Bush-oleum shares the same basic molecular structure as olestra, which is now being promoted both as a fat-reducing dietary aide and a fuel additive.  However, critics caution that the same results apply to the exhaust of your car as to your lower colon - ally and anal leakage.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 6:56:46 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Brilliant post but at least noone has proved that Bushcronium causes Global Warming. Have they ?


Nature abhors a vacuum.

When bushcronium escapes from the element Constitutionum that it decays from in the presence of RepublicanCongressium, it forms a planet sized vacuum.

Nature, in an attempt to overcome this vacuity, bleeds heat into the system space in order to establish equilibrium.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to seeksfemslave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 8:07:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Brilliant post but at least noone has proved that Bushcronium causes Global Warming. Have they ?


Nature abhors a vacuum.

When bushcronium escapes from the element Constitutionum that it decays from in the presence of RepublicanCongressium, it forms a planet sized vacuum.

Nature, in an attempt to overcome this vacuity, bleeds heat into the system space in order to establish equilibrium.

Sinergy


My only question is what is the half life of Bushcronium

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I rarely post humor... - 6/12/2007 9:14:10 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Brilliant post but at least noone has proved that Bushcronium causes Global Warming. Have they ?


Nature abhors a vacuum.

When bushcronium escapes from the element Constitutionum that it decays from in the presence of RepublicanCongressium, it forms a planet sized vacuum.

Nature, in an attempt to overcome this vacuity, bleeds heat into the system space in order to establish equilibrium.

Sinergy


My only question is what is the half life of Bushcronium


One Cheney.

The amount of time between becoming his friend and being shot in the face by him when he thinks you are
a partridge.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> I rarely post humor... Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109