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Polyamory - 6/7/2007 8:10:30 PM   
littlespicyone


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		Is it okay for a sub to have more than one dom? Doms can have more than one sub, in fact, it seems to me that many doms EXPECT and feel they are entitled to multiple subbies scuttling after their every whim, so it is okay for subs to have multiple doms?

I'm not asking if it's desirable to have more than one dom. I want to know if it's acceptable.

I wonder if, in much the same way that promiscuous boys are "studs" but promiscuous girls are "sluts," there is a stigma placed on serving more than one dom.

< Message edited by littlespicyone -- 6/7/2007 8:11:14 PM >

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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 8:12:37 PM   
mamabox


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline 		I've wondered the same thing.

(in reply to littlespicyone)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 8:21:32 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		check the Polyamory boards...its been discussed a time or two

(in reply to mamabox)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 8:41:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The only real stigma is people saying it doesn't/can't actually exist or thinking one of the doms must actually be a sub or something in denial.

But it does exist and it can work out great.

Always remember that if you can imagine it, then someone is doing it and very happy about it.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1022541/mpage_1/key_two%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1023431
a sub with two doms

http://www.collarchat.com/m_746009/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#746254
serving two masters

http://www.collarchat.com/m_486285/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#486926
being owned by more than one master

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=362397&mpage=1&key=owned%2Ccouple&#362403
can slaves have two masters

http://www.collarchat.com/m_67515/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#67515
Serving Multiple Masters


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(in reply to littlespicyone)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 8:48:03 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		acceptable, as in able to be accepted:

yes some will accept 2 doms, some wont.

the ones that wont are saying more about themselves, then about you and your choices, namely that the is one true way to do bdsm and that their way.

silly folks.... those guys, good thing they stick out like a sore thumb.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 6/7/2007 8:49:06 PM >

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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 9:06:07 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i was once told "a sub cannot have two dominants".  but i think one could if one found two dominants that could work together.

the funny thing is, the one who told me that....shares his sub with another domianant. 

kitten, who misses the both of them :(

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/7/2007 9:19:37 PM   
SadisticDaddy68


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline 		The only time I could imagine it not being acceptable is when the doms do not know they are not the only one... sneaking around, cheating, and lying are not good qualities imo.
There is no BDSM society (as an agreed apon whole) that has a rule book or by-laws on what is, or is not acceptable. At least not to my knowledge.
I do however think it would be difficult to find 2 doms, that do not know each other, that would be eager to share a submissive that they were seriously involved with. Most I know would want to meet the other if the relatioship had the potential to go past the casual stage.
Those ideas that "promiscous' boys are studs and the girls are sluts is only found in the "conventional" side of our society, those concepts have no place in wiitwd.

(in reply to littlespicyone)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 1:20:43 AM   
yenlui


Posts: 51
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		This is still, by the way, not a game with preset rules. Anyone may do as they please, as long as they stay on the legal side.

(in reply to SadisticDaddy68)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 1:54:36 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Where there is a Dom/Domme couple, it is very common for the submissive to serve both of them. Provided the lines of communication are clear, it's not a problem. I've seen the same dynamic in operation with two gay Tops and their slave. It can work well.
:))
LH

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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 2:18:54 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		i am currently in a situation where i do in fact have two Doms, Both know about the Other, in fact, One is actually mentoring the Other as the One who is my primary Dom is rather new to the lifestyle. From One i get more of my emotional and affection needs met, as well as W/we are very comfortable together can talk about anything, are good friends as well as Dom and sub. From the Other, i get more intense play, more service work, (ie i am His housegirl). Though neither relationship has been "formalized", it seems to work for all involved as both of the Doms are also poly. Hope that helps to answer the question.

heartfelt

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 6/8/2007 2:20:04 AM >

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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 2:27:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		As long as everyone knows what is going on, I don't see a problem.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to littlespicyone)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 2:40:32 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yenlui

This is still, by the way, not a game with preset rules. Anyone may do as they please, as long as they stay on the legal side.


*Legal side*?.......As in...........?

agirl









(in reply to yenlui)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 2:46:04 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Put Me in the catagory of expecting to be the only Domme.  Somehow, I have just always had the feeling that, sooner or later, two D's will conflict and eventually, a choice will have to be made as far as who to follow.
 

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 4:11:03 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		I would desire to serve only one. I prefer to put all my energy into serving only one Domme. I would find it easy to obey only one Domme and I would be accountable only to her.

(in reply to littlespicyone)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 4:21:45 AM   
JerryInTampa


Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		I find pretty much any consentual relationship "acceptable".

Now what interests me, or what I think will survive in the long-term is different.

For more 24/7 relationships, I think having more than one dom for a single sub is only likely to survive if the two doms in question have a functioning relationship... generally with a pecking order. Otherwise it is asking for a situation where submitting to one is a failure to submit to the other.

For "bedroom subs". I see no difference between this and any other poly-or-open sitution

(in reply to littlespicyone)
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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 4:39:47 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		if it is an occasional play partner friend...I couldn't care less.  My Robert wears only one collar and will not under any circumstance have another dominant.

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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 8:16:29 AM   
MistressMarielle


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/11/2004
Status: offline 		I can think that a common occurrance when a sub/slave serves two dominants is when they are partner dominants, then I would imagine it would be desireous to have more than one slave/sub as well.  As another here stated, "If you can imagine it someone is probably doing it."

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RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 8:25:11 AM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		I've seen the Dom/Dom/sub dynamic quite a few times along with the Domme/Domme/sub...  and I've seen people outside the dynamic accept it, and not accept it.... for me as long as the D/D/s works for them I'm fine with it..... but for me personally I couldn't see it working... but then I think the odds of finding another person on the planet who I felt submissive around are slim to next to none.


kittin

(in reply to MistressMarielle)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 8:31:51 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Serving more than one Dominant is significantly more difficult than being served by more than one sub/slave. It is possibly to do, yes, and it can be done successfully if both Dominant parties know about and agree to sharing. There has to be an understanding of which commands take precedence, since the complications come if there are longterm commands that might contradict one another.
Serving a couple in a D/D relationship is far easier than 2 separate parties, too.  When you serve a pair, they have the same expectations and they communicate to one another. Searate parties dont usually talk, and thats when conflicts can happen. 
Personally, I dont like the idea of any of my pets having other Dommes, but thats a personal preference they know about when they meet me. Commanding one does not impact my ability to command the second.  

My 2 cents
DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to YourShyPet)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Polyamory - 6/8/2007 10:14:39 AM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		IMHO It's the technical challenge that's the real problem.  What if two doms don't see eye to eye about training, or give conflicting instructions?

As for accepted... well, you're already made one alternative lifestyle choice, what's the harm in having a second on top of that?  Heck, make them all the same gender and you've got three!  Go hog wild if you like, it's your private life and you only get to live it once.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 20
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